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Today is the day I admit I have a problem.

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Today is the day I admit I have a problem.

Postby AliceVertov » Thu Aug 24, 2017 8:28 pm

Hi.
I have never posted in a forum before, but here goes. I have a binge eating problem. I have had it for the past 4 months or so. It all started 6 months ago when I decided to start a diet. At first I was doing really well. I stopped eating junk food and sweets, reduced meal sizes and begun exercising. I was eating healthily for once so, naturally, I started losing weight.
But, after a few weeks, I started gradually reducing the amount of food I consumed to the point where I was practically starving all day. I think I did that because I wasn't losing weight as quickly as I wanted or something. I kept this up for a while and then I decided to allow myself to eat whatever I wanted once a week (every Friday). The problem was that I lost complete control over what I ate and most importantly how much I ate on Fridays. I begun overeating to the point where I would feel sick and want to throw up.
Recently though, these binging episodes have begun occurring more regularly. I can't stop eating and I am tired of this nauseating feeling I get after these episodes. Every time I say it will be the last but it never is. It's like I'm hypnotized or something when it happens, I'm there, but I'm not and I can't stop myself. It took me this long to admit I have a problem because I thought it would make it a "real problem" if started calling that. But it is a real problem and I have to deal with it. I can't go to a therapist for many reasons, financial issues being one of them, so I'm trying to deal with this on my own as much as possible. Today I made the first step by admitting I have a problem.

If you have any kind of advice or anything really I would very much appreciate it as I need support.

Thanks for your time.

PS: Sorry for the long post, but it's the first I admit this, and it has been going on for so long so I wanted to say everything, mostly to myself.
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Re: Today is the day I admit I have a problem.

Postby salted lipstick » Tue Sep 19, 2017 12:26 pm

Hello and welcome to the forum. I'm sorry no-one has responded to you sooner.

It's good you have been able to admit you have a problem. That is a really difficult and important step. You might notice that as you go on the journey of this that you have some times when you go back to denial before being able to again admit you have a problem again. Don't be worried if this happens to you, it is a normal response at times because it's such a difficult thing to go through.

You mentioned you used to starve yourself, are you still doing that lately? Or any other behaviours to compensate for the food you've eaten? I just ask because the way you approach the problem might depend on what your thought process and actions are in between the binging. It's not good that you are feeling hypnotised and out of control with the binge eating.
In a way, I am not defined by my dissociation. In a way, I am.

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Re: Today is the day I admit I have a problem.

Postby zorilla » Sat Sep 30, 2017 6:57 am

I feel also "away" when I am binging. The solution is not starting eating (except for meals), because when I start, I can't stop. Fruits are a solution too, but difficult when I want cakes and chocolate. Good luck!
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