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Discussing sexual fantasies and general BDSM with therapist.

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Discussing sexual fantasies and general BDSM with therapist.

Postby Noriega315 » Sat Dec 19, 2015 2:45 am

I am a 20-year-old male with a bondage fetish and an overall affinity for BDSM. I have considered consulting with a female therapist not necessarily for treatment but general discussion of my interest. But is it taboo or unethical or boundary violating to discuss and describe with a female therapist my sexual fantasies?

I also want to know if the following would be possible: Part of my bondage fetish is my attraction to gags and gagged women: women gagged with duct tape, etc. I plan on discussing this with a therapist. Once we're at a level where we understand and have enough mutual trust with one another and are comfortable with our discussions whether it would be possible and ethical for her to occasionally send me pictures of her with duct tape or another kind of tape over her mouth; her wearing a gag. Could this be a viable therapeutic method?
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Re: Discussing sexual fantasies and general BDSM with therapist.

Postby Wally58 » Sat Dec 19, 2015 12:23 pm

It would be very unprofessional and she could lose her license over that.
A good therapist will only want to hear about your 'fantasies' to draw up a treatment plan.
You and the therapist need to be appropriate about discussing your treatment plan.
If she feels that she can't treat you effectively or gets uncomfortable about working with you, she will refer you to another therapist.
A professional and ethical therapist/patient relationship won't involve indulging your fantasies. If you are seeking therapy for BDSM, it obviously bothers you or has become a negative in your life. Don't feed into it. Good luck to you.
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Re: Discussing sexual fantasies and general BDSM with therapist.

Postby Noriega315 » Sun Dec 20, 2015 8:58 am

Wally58 wrote:It would be very unprofessional and she could lose her license over that.
A good therapist will only want to hear about your 'fantasies' to draw up a treatment plan.
You and the therapist need to be appropriate about discussing your treatment plan.
If she feels that she can't treat you effectively or gets uncomfortable about working with you, she will refer you to another therapist.
A professional and ethical therapist/patient relationship won't involve indulging your fantasies. If you are seeking therapy for BDSM, it obviously bothers you or has become a negative in your life. Don't feed into it. Good luck to you.

It's not that it's become a negative aspect of my life. At first I was wondering if therapy would be a place to discuss the topic in general. I'll look elsewhere.
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Re: Discussing sexual fantasies and general BDSM with therapist.

Postby Wally58 » Sun Dec 20, 2015 11:16 am

The main role of the therapist is treatment.
It will be a safe place to discuss the topic in general. The therapist will give you some insight into the thinking behind your thoughts and how to deal with them or how to come to terms with them.
The main role of therapy is to put the brakes on this kind of thinking for people who are have these intrusive thoughts at inappropriate times and where it is making their lives unmanageable. They become unable to function and think normally without these BDSM images and thoughts crowding their mind.
If the thoughts are not a negative aspect in your life at this time and you wish to continue with the thoughts, then why are you seeking therapy for it?
Just don't expect the therapist to share in acting-out your fetish and fantasies. This is not the role of the therapist and it would be very bad to suggest to her to enter into fetish role-play with you.
I'm not sure that I understand what you are hoping to get out of these therapy sessions. Her conduct as a professional likely won't involve her dressing up, putting tape across her mouth and taking pictures for you. You would get that elsewhere.
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