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New to this, confused, need advice please

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New to this, confused, need advice please

Postby suz6058 » Mon Jun 01, 2015 2:43 pm

I am a sub.. I have always been into someone taking control of me, and being there to please another.. I met a Dom and he seemed very kind and we got to know each other and decided to meet up, it all went very well.. Until we left and I went through kind of a drop and haven't heard from him since.. I'm very hesitant to try again and then just disappear like he did.. Also I'd love more information on the scene and how to meet new people and stuff like that :)
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Re: New to this, confused, need advice please

Postby advisemerp » Sun Jun 14, 2015 12:04 pm

It may be an experience he wanted to have and not an actual dom. I had a sub for a while who had to be taught and eventually it just wasn’t for her. It is easy to find people into the lifestyle on the net but they are usually lower class, it is hard to find a good professional who is into the lifestyle in private.
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Re: New to this, confused, need advice please

Postby noydb » Mon Jul 20, 2015 8:29 am

Your confusion seems to stem from the "Dom" being a jerk, not from a bdsm viewpoint. A LOT of people are jerks, so deal with this as you would deal with any other dating disaster. He sucks, you got hurt, there it is. His asshattishness wasn't because of his proclivities, but rather his personality or his view of your compatibility. Understand what being a sub means to you and you will find more positive outcomes. Many subs (in my experience) say they are submissive without understanding what the word entails. It isn't about helplessness or co-dependency, you know? It's about what makes you whole. It's a long hard journey and you need a good partner, just like in any other relationship. Onward and upward, suz.
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