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That's why

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That's why

Postby RainAtDawn » Wed Jan 19, 2022 9:52 pm

I was diagnosed as having AvPD by a psychiatrist back in 2008. I think I assumed that was simply descriptive: I avoid things, no kidding. I've only just found out that it includes a good deal of aetiology as well.

A few weeks back, my mother, amazingly, apologised for being very hard on me when I was little.
(This was prompted by her struggles to care for a close and currently very depressed friend who is now constantly critical of everything.)

I'm not diagnosed as having Asperger's Syndrome, but several people have independently suggested to me that I might have it, so I went looking for information about the effects of prolonged criticism on people with AS. I came across this article on an Asperger's website that was so eerily accurate, down to the "criticising themselves early on in social interactions", that I showed it to my partner. (He said he could see something of himself in it.)

When I then googled "hypersensitivity to criticism", the third link down was to the MSD definition of AvPD. Wow. That just explains so much.

I wish I'd thought to look into this earlier, since even knowing about this has been healing. Whether or not it helps me deal with my fears remains to be seen.
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Re: That's why

Postby lilyfairy » Sun Jan 23, 2022 6:33 am

Hi and welcome.

I have both. Haven't been formally assessed for Aspergers, but multiple people involved in my care agree that it's there. When it first came up, I did a lot of reading, and it suddenly clicked. It explained so many things. My therapist at the time said we needed to move away from the idea of trying to "fix" things and more learning to live with them. Understanding that there is a reason why I struggle so much to deal with people, and why I do things the way I do, rather than just this idea that I need to try harder and do more has been huge.

RainAtDawn wrote:A few weeks back, my mother, amazingly, apologised for being very hard on me when I was little.
(This was prompted by her struggles to care for a close and currently very depressed friend who is now constantly critical of everything.)
It's nice that she has acknowledged that. Few people get that acknowledgement.

I wish I'd found out about Aspergers years ago. I wonder about how things might have looked different. I had a therapist say to me that "you can't change that". But it was not about wishing for something that can no longer be, but just wondering how things might have been different, and how with the right support, would I be in the same place I am now.

RainAtDawn wrote:I wish I'd thought to look into this earlier, since even knowing about this has been healing. Whether or not it helps me deal with my fears remains to be seen.
I'd not thought about that knowledge being healing before, but you're right, it is. :)
First rule of mental health: Learn to distinguish who deserves an explanation, who deserves only one answer, and who deserves absolutely nothing.

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