sick of trying

I'm feeling really depressed, life is completely meaningless and pointless. If I could click my fingers and I would be gone I would do it. 30 years, I have been battling this. never ending clouds with no rays of sunshine. I keep running into brick walls and I am just so sick and tired of it. Im sick of trying.

I often feel like that- but we really don't have many good options. I tell myself there's always a chance things will get better. Every day above ground, is a good one. It sounds hollow but that's the long and short of it. I'm not excused from not keeping on, keeping on. So I will... keep trying.