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AVPD friend distancing

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AVPD friend distancing

Postby now007 » Fri Nov 06, 2020 1:35 am

I have a friend who I know has AVPD but has never been diagnosed, but has been diagnosed with Agoraphobia. I have always know but never said anything, we have been like best friends for a very long time.

She has bailed me out and had my back and I have had her back always, very close friends with nothing but peace and laughter. We have only had a few disagreements but always worked it out.

Friends of mine have told me she is keen on me and I have never really thought that, but did notice I gues allot of hints at times over the years but really never thought much of it.

Recently we have slept together one night we had to many drinks and since then it seems like things have changed and she has distanced her self a bit which is a bit upsetting.

I really don't care to much for the sex, this is not my concern either is rejection, my concern is that we remain friends cause she means the world to me as just that.... my best friend.

She said the night that this happened that this could ruin our relationship and you may wonder how I know this, yet she was really the person that started it with lots of sexual hints. So I am a little lost in that I don't know what that comment meant. She also said this is to intimate for us.

She hasn't stopped talking to me completely but its not how it was before this night.

Our connection has always been fun and peaceful, I am normally the person she calls first if something really goes wrong and to she has always been the same for me.

I originally thought this was because maybe the sex wasn't to her liking or something along those lines but I am feeling there is something else going on.

Is anyone who has this type of problem able to shed some light on this?

She is my best friend and means the world to me, and I don't want to loose the special connection we have shared for all these years.
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Re: AVPD friend distancing

Postby lilyfairy » Mon Nov 09, 2020 6:19 am

I've known of a lot of people who have taken a friendship further with sex, and a lot of times, the friendship doesn't work out. It confuses the line between friends and something more and usually brings up a whole load of feelings either one or both of them weren't ready for. For some people, maybe it does work out ok, but I don't think it's necessarily something that can be pinned to AvPD. Most people with AvPD will struggle with friendships- relationships and intimacy are another level. Not to say they can't have those things, but they find it much harder than the average person.

Best thing to do would be to talk to her. We can't tell you what she's thinking or feeling- only she can give you that answer.
First rule of mental health: Learn to distinguish who deserves an explanation, who deserves only one answer, and who deserves absolutely nothing.

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