So I've got a personlity disorder. Now what...?

Hi all (*waves*)

I'm seeing a drug counsellor by mistake. He recently asked me if I had a personality disorder. I came across a few definitions of "Avoidant Personality Disorder" and yep -- that's me.

I suffered a bereavement close to a decade ago and had a bit of a "breakdown". I inherited enough money to take some time off... but I couldn't function. I was tempted to blow a load of money on residential rehab, as I'd always dreamt about the possibility, but everyone convinced me that I didn't "really" have a problem. So I had several years of psychotherapy instead.

I was clearly depressed, but didn't have a clue what "anxiety" really meant. I realised that anxiety was what I'd experienced my whole life -- I didn't think there was a word for it. The therapy helped a lot.

Years later, I'm still treading water... no job, no partner, no career, no money, few friends, and deeply-entrenched addictions... even though I don't really *like* to feel intoxicated. :-/ I don't want to do anything but sleep.

My doctor referred my to another counselling service, who refused to deal with me as I use drugs, and referred my to a drugs counsellor. He's struggling to help and asked if I had a personality disorder. He wants me to go back to my doctor, lie about my drug use, and ask for the maximum dose of the antidepressant I'm taking.

I just... don't know what to do. I've had talking therapy, I've had SSRIs... and I'm stable enough that my depression/anxiety are bearable. But I don't seem capable of change, and I'm not sure any change in (prescription) drugs is going to help...

Are there specific treatments for Avoidant Personality Disorder, or is it just therapy and antidepressants...? I'm so tired of all this...

Cheers

rastamouse wrote:I was clearly depressed, but didn't have a clue what "anxiety" really meant. I realised that anxiety was what I'd experienced my whole life -- I didn't think there was a word for it. The therapy helped a lot.

Anxiety can creep up on you like that- I often only realise I am actually anxious with either it becoming worse, of if I take meds that cancel it out, but even they are not a good solution. Otherwise anxious is just a normal state for me.

rastamouse wrote:I just... don't know what to do. I've had talking therapy, I've had SSRIs... and I'm stable enough that my depression/anxiety are bearable. But I don't seem capable of change, and I'm not sure any change in (prescription) drugs is going to help...

Are there specific treatments for Avoidant Personality Disorder, or is it just therapy and antidepressants...? I'm so tired of all this...

Meds are not going to "fix" AvPD, but they can take the edge off the anxiety and depression to make it a bit easier to function. AvPD is one of the most treatable PD's, with CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) known to be effective in treating it. In treating it, it doesn't mean you become the life and soul of the party, but it can help bring people back to a more average range of functioning to the point of no longer being diagnosable as having AvPD.

Are there any other avenues for therapy that are not drug counselling specific? It really sounds like you're stuck inbetween right now.

I don't really seem to be ok with change either. My previous therapist had on more than one occasion said that I clearly can't deal with change.

I know it's exhausting- keep holding on though. You're not alone. Hugs if you'd like some.