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Join A Group

Avoidant Personality Disorder message board, open discussion, and online support group.

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Join A Group

Postby MindOnAir » Sun Jun 16, 2019 4:26 am

I keep being told a million times to join a group. but how am i exactly suppose to do that? I have never belong anywhere no matter how hard I tried. I can't commit myself to any activity. Everything is just plain boring for me and I have no interest in anything whatsoever. Is there a tutorial for avoidants to start a new hobby? I'm so lost hopeless and depressed this week.
Dx: Avpd, Paranoid Personality, Erotomania (but not delusional disorder)
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Medication: escitalopram 10 mg
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The ability to like or love someone is a gift I can never have.
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Re: Join A Group

Postby lilyfairy » Tue Jun 18, 2019 11:23 am

I get told this a lot too. My Dr in particular keeps urging me to go and join in support group for people with mental illness- doesn't matter what type of MI you have, it's just aimed at at getting people out and interacting with people. I'm quite happy on my own though. The idea of joining a group just makes me feel overwhelmed.

MindOnAir wrote:I can't commit myself to any activity. Everything is just plain boring for me and I have no interest in anything whatsoever. Is there a tutorial for avoidants to start a new hobby? I'm so lost hopeless and depressed this week.
This bit sounds like depression talking. When my mood really drops the idea of doing any hobby, even things I usually love feels impossible. Like normally I'd be quite happy doing sewing, or playing around with some music, but right now? Meh. Don't want to do that. Or anything else really.

Re trying to find a hobby, maybe searching hobbies on the internet until something catches your eye? Hope the hopeless/depressed feeling eases soon.
"Courage isn't having the strength to go on- it is going on when you don't have the strength." - Napoleon Bonaparte

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Re: Join A Group

Postby skyflyz » Tue Jul 02, 2019 8:48 pm

I went and joined a 12 step group for something I have relatively mild problems with (not drinking or drugs). It's stressful for sure, but I feel like it's giving me practice in speaking up. Plus they do a lot of hugging at the end of it so that's a nice feeling. The biggest problem I guess is that I think eventually you are supposed to ask somebody to be your sponsor. Also can't even truly get through step one, which has to do with a higher power.

I seriously feel like this isn't going to help with what the group is about but so what? It's helping me learn how to talk to people. It's low risk in a lot of ways as I don't have to go back if I don't want to. Nobody asks what you did over the holiday etc. either, something I always hated in any social group. And the problem the support group is about is something I don't feel too much embarrassment about -- it's not like a support group for AVPD or anything like that. A shyness or AVPD support group is ideal sure, but I'm not there yet where I would feel even remotely comfy and there isn't anything here like that anyhow.

I live in a small town without a lot of special interest groups. But if you don't have a hobby or can't think of something like that maybe you have some small problem you can go to a support group for.

I'm not saying I'm an outright fraud in being there lol, don't get me wrong.
“If you are depressed you are living in the past.
If you are anxious you are living in the future.
If you are at peace you are living in the present.”
― Lao Tzu
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Re: Join A Group

Postby lilyfairy » Wed Jul 03, 2019 12:49 pm

That's really positive Skyflyz. I think the fact that you've gone along is a big thing- well done. It sounds like it is a safe environment to be in, which can be hard to find in most everyday interactions.

skyflyz wrote:The biggest problem I guess is that I think eventually you are supposed to ask somebody to be your sponsor. Also can't even truly get through step one, which has to do with a higher power.
I've never done a 12 step program personally, but maybe to start with, even just attending and interacting with people is the main thing. I'm not religious, so the higher power parts of the 12 step programs are a little uncomfortable to me, but I know someone else with a different/alternate belief system altogether who has done programs and he was able to just substitute his own belief system into those parts to make it work for and have meaning to him.

Really awesome that you got there. :D
"Courage isn't having the strength to go on- it is going on when you don't have the strength." - Napoleon Bonaparte

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