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How do AVPDs Do Therapy?

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How do AVPDs Do Therapy?

Postby skyflyz » Sat Jun 01, 2019 3:44 am

I'm really struggling with getting therapy. The doctor gave the local therapy place an order for me and they have the receptionist call and remind people when they don't get tests or whatever else they recommend.

I know therapy can help but all my life I've been afraid of people judging me negatively and I feel like my life has been a big fat failure in every way. It was really difficult going to the doctor and telling them I felt depressed. Having to delve into past events and issues that I avoid telling people at all costs seems like more than I can cope with, especially to a stranger.

I'm more than happy to get CBT or therapy as long as it doesn't focus on my past.

But anyhow, does anybody have advice on this?
“If you are depressed you are living in the past.
If you are anxious you are living in the future.
If you are at peace you are living in the present.”
― Lao Tzu
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Re: How do AVPDs Do Therapy?

Postby lilyfairy » Sat Jun 01, 2019 1:40 pm

skyflyz wrote:I know therapy can help but all my life I've been afraid of people judging me negatively and I feel like my life has been a big fat failure in every way. It was really difficult going to the doctor and telling them I felt depressed. Having to delve into past events and issues that I avoid telling people at all costs seems like more than I can cope with, especially to a stranger.
I found the idea of doing therapy really uncomfortable for a long time. Even now, I'm still not always comfortable with the idea- when I do feel that way, I'm usually trying to bring up/deal with something in therapy that's a difficult or upsetting issue. And there is also this thought in my head that " I should be able to deal with this on my own". Can I say that the first step of saying "I need some help" is actually one of the hardest hurdles to get past.

Usually with therapy, there is some amount of them needing to know about your past. You are in control though and can give them as much or as little info on things as you like. You can keep it brief or go into more detail of you want. You can also say "I've been through xyz, but don't really want to/am not ready to talk about it". Most of the asking about your history is for them to understand what's going on now. Most forms of therapy are about your thoughts that are going on in the now and learning a better way to deal with them. Your past contributed to it, but there will be a lot more questions about what the thoughts are now. CBT in particular deals with trying to change the way your thoughts are working eg. trying to break a negative loop. Personally I wrote out a "history" to present to a new therapist, said I would be happy to answer questions about it but didn't want to relive it. Saved me a lot of pain having to talk about difficult topics, and also meant that I didn't forget things.

Talking with a therapist about such personal stuff, at first I did feel really uncomfortable with it. The more I did though, the more I realised that he is the only person in my life who does know what is going on. I has been really helpful to tell him things that I just can't discuss with friends or family, and with out judgement.
"Courage isn't having the strength to go on- it is going on when you don't have the strength." - Napoleon Bonaparte

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Re: How do AVPDs Do Therapy?

Postby Akuma » Sun Jun 02, 2019 9:15 am

skyflyz wrote:It was really difficult going to the doctor and telling them I felt depressed. Having to delve into past events and issues that I avoid telling people at all costs seems like more than I can cope with, especially to a stranger.


I'm not sure where anymore, I think in an article by Nancy McWilliams I read a longer ahilw about this groups of patients who go to therapy and they idealize the therapist immediately and they are very open from the start: They usually have a bad prognosis, because just as quickly it all falls apart and they abort therapy.
Real trust and respect, in comparison, builds over time. By the time the therapist is not a stranger to you anymore, maybe you will want to speak to him about certain things. Or maybe not. Its your therapy, so its your choice.
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