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Self Sabotage

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Re: Self Sabotage

Postby salles » Wed Nov 18, 2020 7:48 am

ViniStonemoss wrote:
In general, we're trying to recreate early experiences.


Yes. Child/Parent bonding can be such that the adult child chooses situations, especially pertaining to relationships, that they are familiar with, can identify with, and associate with being Loved/Cared for.

-- Wed Nov 18, 2020 8:58 am --

ViniStonemoss wrote:
What happened? Something must have happened...


Some people, especially those who think 'logically' or scientifically' are opposed to a different view point especially if it cannot be backed up by Science. I become angry when discussion or debate attacks the person posting rather than encourages open dialogue. My words were in defense to being attacked, and I turned into a viper!
There is no mathematical equation for 'instinct' ... so one can never win any argument where their opinion relies on instinct.
The topic is 'Mandatory covid 19 vaccine'. Very divisive subject. My point being, that making anything mandatory will cause people to resist. If they want people on board with being jabbed by a 'rushed' vaccine they need to NOT make it mandatory. People have the right to refuse.
I was surprised at the lack of support in resisting Mandatory Vax.
Regardless, I think Fear is the basis of both arguments.
They fear death.
I fear the loss of individual autonomy.
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Re: Self Sabotage

Postby lilyfairy » Thu Nov 19, 2020 9:30 am

salles wrote:A few months ago I saw a psychiatrist. Only my second ever, in many years. He told me I was 'addicted' to negative thinking. I felt resentful, but lately feel he might be right if overly simplistic.
I had a therapist who once told me that my negative thoughts- or specifically my self harm thoughts, had become automatic. It had just become a go-to when my thoughts were spinning out of control. It wasn't really even about wanting to harm- it was just distracting from whatever flurry of thoughts were there at the time.

wobbie wrote:
avoidant112 wrote:4 years later, still self sabotaging. I remember feeling as if I was at rock bottom when I originally made this post. Boy was I wrong.

That's interesting, I have always felt the same (about always reaching new lows). To the point where I can actually look back at what were "awful" times and actually miss that period or feel some fondness for it. Maybe it's the way our minds misinterpret what is happening in the moment. But I think it's just a feature of life to some extent, we're all going to suffer the indignities of aging and so on
Looking back on it though, as bad as the situation was, you got through it, and it looks way different now to what it did at the time. Whatever the current issue is probably looks equally as confronting to what the past awful time did in that very moment.

salles wrote:The topic is 'Mandatory covid 19 vaccine'. Very divisive subject. My point being, that making anything mandatory will cause people to resist. If they want people on board with being jabbed by a 'rushed' vaccine they need to NOT make it mandatory. People have the right to refuse.
I was surprised at the lack of support in resisting Mandatory Vax.
Regardless, I think Fear is the basis of both arguments.
They fear death.
I fear the loss of individual autonomy.

I think in general people are so desperate for a solution to covid 19 at the moment- any solution, and I don't think a lot of people have stopped to think about the implications of a solution- whatever that solution- treating the virus with experimental medicines or vaccine. I don't personally have an issue with mandatory, or mandatory with specific exemptions, but it could be worded better. I have a science background, but I still feel uncomfortable with it being rushed through. I have immune system issues and I'd like to know it's properly tested and safe first before lining up for it. Even though the current situation means we need to move fast, it being quite rushed is still a concern to me.

salles wrote:Regardless, I think Fear is the basis of both arguments.
They fear death.
I fear the loss of individual autonomy.
Fear is driving a lot in the world right now.
First rule of mental health: Learn to distinguish who deserves an explanation, who deserves only one answer, and who deserves absolutely nothing.

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Re: Self Sabotage

Postby tmc115 » Mon Nov 23, 2020 2:07 pm

I did.

Praise or anything positive was something that I just couldn't handle.

All that attention felt like egg beaters on my brain.

I'm getting a lot better at receiving positive attention now and being a social person after I linked my stress with the constant emotional and spiritual abuse I received as a child.

Usually I was picked on in my home. Everything, every word, every syllable, every nuance was constantly being analyzed and thrown in my face if I did something "wrong" or "hurtful".

But sometimes I did a really good job. And when that happened I got all this other attention and people gave me compliments and such. It was so hard because I was only ever used to being put-down. I wouldn't know what to say or how to act. I'd say 'Thanks' and then I'd get yelled at because "That was ALL???"

I didn't know know to respond to positive attention so it really scared me.

I never wanted the positivity because I felt like I was cheating the people I got the attention from. Like, no you don't want to like me. I'm not really a fun person. I'm crap. Just ignore me. That's better.

They told me I wasn't responding "appropriately" that something was "wrong" with me. But I was just scared. I'm not a kid anymore and I can do things well and people can like me for who I am.
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