Our partner

How to rebuild your bubble

Avoidant Personality Disorder message board, open discussion, and online support group.

Moderator: lilyfairy

Re: How to rebuild your bubble

Postby lilyfairy » Sun Apr 11, 2021 9:54 am

Hi Philonoe

I find trying to get back home into my safe space helps. Some days I want to listen to music- just as background music. Other days I crave quiet and don't want to listen to music at all. Doing hobbies- whatever interests me at the time helps- something I can get lost in and try to shut out outside thoughts.

Sometimes venting my day can help- either to someone in person if there's someone about, or through communicating here on the forum, or just writing things down, so it's not going over and over so much.

Often after a day at work, I'll come home, have dinner in front of the TV, and watch something that either doesn't require too much thought or maybe put a movie on- something I can tune out to. I create myself a little nest on the sofa and settle in for a bit.

When I'm really wound up or overwhelmed I find jigsaw puzzles really helpful- they require enough concentration that worrying can't take up all of my energy and focus if I'm trying to work on one. I'm getting myself a bit of a collection of 1000 piece puzzles.

Allowing myself "recovery" time after a day with a lot of interaction seems to help me reset though. That might sometimes mean that the day after work is sometimes a total write-off in terms of getting anything done around the house, but if I'm not feeling comfortable, I'm not going to achieve anything anyway.

If the idea of some kind of ritual, or a walk works for you, go with that. What works for each person is going to be a bit different.
First rule of mental health: Learn to distinguish who deserves an explanation, who deserves only one answer, and who deserves absolutely nothing.

Forum Rules

Whatever you're doing today, do it with the confidence of a four-year-old in a Batman t-shirt.
lilyfairy
Site Admin
 
Posts: 12437
Joined: Sun May 08, 2011 10:34 am
Local time: Wed Sep 22, 2021 9:16 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)


ADVERTISEMENT

Re: How to rebuild your bubble

Postby Philonoe » Tue Apr 13, 2021 9:16 am

Thank you Lily. Those are very quiet ways to relax and take distance.

In this case, i'm looking for something like a door. For the time being, i have to spend time in a context that is unhealthy for me and i would like a symbolic door to say : i'm away. Like a ritual.

For instance it would be : take a cold shower/do some very physical dance/do some magical ritual/change clothes/eat something etc.

To close the door, recover contact with myself until the next time i enter in that context.

I think it could maybe be compared with a buffer or something?
Philonoe
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 2275
Joined: Sun Dec 29, 2013 5:32 pm
Local time: Wed Sep 22, 2021 11:16 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: How to rebuild your bubble

Postby Philonoe » Thu Apr 15, 2021 8:12 am

Last time i did my best to avoid bad vibes. i hope this context doesn't last too long. i begin to have some physical issues. like emotions too much contained.
going for a walk...
Philonoe
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 2275
Joined: Sun Dec 29, 2013 5:32 pm
Local time: Wed Sep 22, 2021 11:16 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: How to rebuild your bubble

Postby lilyfairy » Mon Apr 26, 2021 10:17 am

Philonoe wrote:Thank you Lily. Those are very quiet ways to relax and take distance.

In this case, i'm looking for something like a door. For the time being, i have to spend time in a context that is unhealthy for me and i would like a symbolic door to say : i'm away. Like a ritual.

For instance it would be : take a cold shower/do some very physical dance/do some magical ritual/change clothes/eat something etc.

To close the door, recover contact with myself until the next time i enter in that context.

I think it could maybe be compared with a buffer or something?

You're welcome.

I've been doing some of these sorts of things the past few weeks- I've been able to move back into my home. I'd had to move out due to abuse from a neighbour, who has been moved on (thankfully). I'm not usually a huge believer in these sort of things, but have been using a number of methods I've read up on to help remove negative energy from my house, like using essential oils, having a massive cleanout and tossing things broken or unneeded, cleaning out cupboards, washing their contents and wiping down all the surfaces in my house. I do feel more comfortable having done so- trying to claim my space back.

Philonoe wrote:i begin to have some physical issues. like emotions too much contained.
Emotions and stress that I can't otherwise release, which is a lot of it, comes out in my body. Usually as jammed up muscles, which then can twist my body out of proper alignment. I'm frequently at the physiotherapist needing hips, back or shoulders unjammed and pushed back into place. I've found accupuncture helpful in calming my system down too. My body can go from excessively jumpy when I first go in to calm when I leave. And I often don't realise how wound up my body is until someone starts poking up and down my spine.
First rule of mental health: Learn to distinguish who deserves an explanation, who deserves only one answer, and who deserves absolutely nothing.

Forum Rules

Whatever you're doing today, do it with the confidence of a four-year-old in a Batman t-shirt.
lilyfairy
Site Admin
 
Posts: 12437
Joined: Sun May 08, 2011 10:34 am
Local time: Wed Sep 22, 2021 9:16 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: How to rebuild your bubble

Postby Philonoe » Sun May 09, 2021 7:54 pm

Thank you Lily. that's exactly the sort of things i'm looking for. sort of symbolic washing myself or my space.

and yes i should go to physiotherapist because i have pain in the body.

i've been working hard and feel very vert tired. some things were done and i hope soon i can take some distance.
Philonoe
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 2275
Joined: Sun Dec 29, 2013 5:32 pm
Local time: Wed Sep 22, 2021 11:16 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: How to rebuild your bubble

Postby Philonoe » Sat Sep 11, 2021 7:50 am

It's ok it's finished. I'm still very tired by this episode. It was really difficult.
Philonoe
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 2275
Joined: Sun Dec 29, 2013 5:32 pm
Local time: Wed Sep 22, 2021 11:16 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: How to rebuild your bubble

Postby lilyfairy » Mon Sep 13, 2021 10:31 am

Glad you made it through it. Make sure you take some time to allow yourself to recover and reset. What other people manage to deal with comfortably as part of their day can be exhausting to us. Today I sent an email that I have been trying to build myself up to for what must have been the past month- the outcome was good, and even though I'd not really expected a bad outcome from it, the amount of effort and energy it took seems enormous.

Sending hugs.
First rule of mental health: Learn to distinguish who deserves an explanation, who deserves only one answer, and who deserves absolutely nothing.

Forum Rules

Whatever you're doing today, do it with the confidence of a four-year-old in a Batman t-shirt.
lilyfairy
Site Admin
 
Posts: 12437
Joined: Sun May 08, 2011 10:34 am
Local time: Wed Sep 22, 2021 9:16 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: How to rebuild your bubble

Postby Philonoe » Mon Sep 13, 2021 6:45 pm

Thank you Lily. Congrats for the e-mail. I experienced taking days and nights to write an e-mail sometimes. It's good news that the outcome of your e-mail was positive.
Philonoe
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 2275
Joined: Sun Dec 29, 2013 5:32 pm
Local time: Wed Sep 22, 2021 11:16 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: How to rebuild your bubble

Postby Philonoe » Tue Sep 14, 2021 10:36 pm

Philonoe wrote:I succeeded in avoiding bubblebreaker for some weeks. Until last week, and then this morning. Manager came to my office saying that people don't want to work with me and what solution do i have for that.

Bubble is broken and i know it'll be difficult to sleep.

I need sort of superglue for bubble :(

oh shame. Nearly all colleagues were fired or left. One talked to me and said that all that I predicted happened.
I'm happy I am in an other place.
Philonoe
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 2275
Joined: Sun Dec 29, 2013 5:32 pm
Local time: Wed Sep 22, 2021 11:16 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: How to rebuild your bubble

Postby lilyfairy » Fri Sep 17, 2021 12:52 pm

That doesn't sound like it was a healthy work environment. Glad you are in another place.

I had a manager wanting to pick faults with the way I deal with customers before. Little do they understand how much energy it takes just to deal with customers in the first place.
First rule of mental health: Learn to distinguish who deserves an explanation, who deserves only one answer, and who deserves absolutely nothing.

Forum Rules

Whatever you're doing today, do it with the confidence of a four-year-old in a Batman t-shirt.
lilyfairy
Site Admin
 
Posts: 12437
Joined: Sun May 08, 2011 10:34 am
Local time: Wed Sep 22, 2021 9:16 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

PreviousNext

Return to Avoidant Personality Disorder Forum

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 15 guests