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Is this aspergers maybe?

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Is this aspergers maybe?

Postby aaronschof2589 » Wed Aug 23, 2017 12:49 am

Hi I'm going to keep this first message fairly easy to read and then I can progress into more detail once I have respondes , I'd really appreciate any help on the matter. Thankyou

Basically started dating a new girl three months ago , she's 26 , im a 27yr old male.

Met on tinder everything seems normal , good humour, seemed on the same Page , talked for a while and progressed into dating , all is normal upto here.

I will list in pointers the things that have made me question if she's ok the spectrum.

Told me she takes everything literally and has a bad habit of it.
Conversation from her was mostly initiated by me.
Very blunt , even about things that may have offended a new possible partner. I.e comments about t looks etc. You won't look like him though etc.
Seemed very very unaware of how she could offend someone with what comes out, because 'she' knew that she meant no real harm or insult.

Total lack of compliments really.
Wine for dinner maybe 20 times and neve really said thankyou , other than when she got home once or twice on a text.

Seemed almost uninterested in sex and the topic.
No sexual compliments on my body and what not etc
Even when we had sex , lack of mutual touching etc.
Seemed to speak aloud a little , this is embarrassing but she even said
" do you think I'll stretch? And do vaginas stretch" when we had issues entering so to speak.

Backed up by laughter but also seems a little serious in her questioning!
No real responce from penetration during sex. And lack of eye contact especially during sex, preferred to kiss constantly,, almost to the point of getting awkward .when asked if she was ok she said yes and didn't want to stop etc.

Lack of compliments about anything really, and when asked I got the respondes
" you should know" you should think this etc. But she couldn' grape why I don't get it , but here we hardly any expression in this way .
Seemed to like being at home wth me chilling out, rather than huge events etc.

Lack of empathy when talking about my personal issues etc.

Seemed her sleep was very very important , routine maybe?
Mum always text asking if she was ok and if she's coming home soon etc, I mean a mums love is normal but 8 dates in you knew what your daughter is probably doing at her dates house right! It seems a little over protective to be honest !

I know what your thinking why aspergers , she don't like you that much by the sound of things lol!

But this is the catch .
This girl wanted to see me everyday , and I mean everyday.
I even thought woah it was little too much to soon but she seemed to enjoy spending time with me and told me multiple times (mostly on text I'll add)
Told me she's missed me once on text after a day! Again nice but a little ott.

Basically seems to lack the little part of maybe not letting too much on too soon. But I liked her alot and found all of the above wuit innocent and refreshing . That coupled with an attractive girl and good humour there was no reason to or her off, and I wane to let her know I was happy too.

We progressed anyway and see each other most days. Sex continued and got a little better, maybe it was her for time I thought , again another positive really.

But the lack of emotions towards me was just too evident,

Now don't get me wrong I am in jk way soppy or controlling , nor do I push for compliments or anything.

But he's the little girl things or new things you normally reciprocate in a new exciting relationships as a little missing.
When confronted she would again tell me , that I sjkjdkr think like that. And that I should know because I see her veryday and sleep with her !

Fair enough in a way that does work to show you like someone ofcourse! But I can't help but feel the little things that neurotypical me do in a relationship , especially a new one were far and inbwyween, if anything really.

To save coming across as super insecure I backed off , maybe it was me but I knew I was t being ott infant quite the opposite. The emotions on her side were clearly lacking .

Basically we come to blows after me posting a picture on my social media of my body progress , something that is close To my heart and something she kinda knew about that was how my hobby.

She don't like the picture , in fact ignored it and made a joke saying i was a poser and cringey .
Now this rung alarm bells as she knows or should know that's the lad thing I am, but again her responce was brutally honest , I was cringey and embarrassing ! Apparently!

Now I wouldn't mind but she should now that isn't the case and I don't car what you you say any neeortyocsl person wouldn't be so outright hurtful about there partners happiness or hobby right , evn if we cringe ourselves , the empathy stops us from being that vocal right!? Unless you don't actually like or love your spouse right!?

Anwyay we had it out and basically I ended it , I can skit I was a little ott but only roxlsined hwkninwa feeling , she seemed to only grasp how hurtful she was once I really broke it down , again not normal.

We agreed to speak as she separately messaged me, and agreed on not giving up she it was a silly misunderstanding of our characters . I was willing to accept maybe she's just really honest and not that kind hearted , something that I could deal with now i know, as I said I don't need all that.

Two days later I get the your th best guy I've ever met message but my feelings have changed etc. I deserve someone who knows what they want etc.

Yes hurtful to get dumped over text for a start.

But the confusing thing is two days before we arrange a holiday almost , talk about our future , laugh joke have sex and basically all seems good, probably Bettr thaan normal. No inking she wants to pull the plug at all. Sex covered the attraction principle and talking snout a future secured the feelings so guess!? Well for neurotypicals yes maybe .

I haven't replied and got another text message saying hope your ok three days later with a kiss


Knowing psychology myself I knew something wasn't quite right. Ended up scrolling through her Facebook posts and found

Five pages she has shared on autism .
One specifically about a young boy which started with " if you have aspegers like me".......
She shared these around a year and half ago and seemed most of the other posts where this time too.

During one of our rows she stated she knew about depression and kinda blurted out about therapy she's had. When asked she would not speak about it , so I backed off .she said she came off anti depressants three weeks ago , but I don't think she has and I think it is to do with the coping of her condition ??

She said I just couldn't deal with life .
I have mutual friends with her , and boys that have tried to date her , none that actually did I I think I was the first person maybe who tried a real relationship with her .

I have loads more expampels to talk about and would love some responces.

I will clear this up by saying I really really miss what we had , and I know being the headstrong person I am I want to pursue thing with her if I can.

I don't want her to change and i know I can learn to deal with her aspergers . I don't discriminate and we had so much in common when we did get along , family morals and even our anxietys were the same .

I truly miss everything about her , and olwould like advice how to respond to her.

Even if she really doesn't like me or want a relationship I'd think I'd like just to talk and tell her how much I care and that I form judge her on the way she is , probably best for our own closure if it had to be that way .

Thankyou so much for reading X
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