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Advice Needed for Mentally Handicapped SIL

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Advice Needed for Mentally Handicapped SIL

Postby hyacinth1 » Sun Aug 20, 2017 5:34 pm

I'm new here and I'm not sure if this is the right place to post this. If this is not the right place to post this please move it to the right place.

Here is my situation :

My wife has a sister who is mentally handicapped. The sister is in her 40s now (41). Ever since I've been dating my wife, her parents never told her, her family, or myself as to what was the actual diagnosis of her sister.

Her sister does not have down syndrome. But she has the mind of a child. I would venture to guess maybe a 3 year old but I have no idea. I don't know if she was born this way or if something happened. Maybe it's Autism but we're not sure. My wife and I sometimes speculate the reason why the parents don't tell anyone the truth of the diagnosis could be maybe there was some violence that happened to her sister as a little girl. There's been rumors that she was thrown on the ceiling as an infant and injured her head. But we really don't have any idea.

My wife's sister went thru special education in school, and had a job at a grocery store for 25 years. But the grocery store went under and she has not been doing any work for I think 8-9 years since. So any type of structure she had in the past is no longer there. My in laws take care of her but they don't provide any structure. They are super enablers for her to just eat and lie around doing nothing. The only thing thing they do w/ her is go gambling at the riverboat casino maybe 2-3 times a week.

So the reason why I am posting this is in the last 3-4 months my SIL has really lost it. She's run away from home once which took the police 6 hours to find her. She's been violent to my in laws at the riverboat on many occasions. And she's acted out in other ways such as breaking the car rear view mirror, going out on the driveway and giggling in the middle of the night , etc.....

So something is happening to her. My wife and I have told the parents to get her to a doctor to do a diagnosis and therapy but they refuse. We're just afraid that if the sister continues down this path, she may end up hurting herself or someone else. The incident where she ran way she could have been run over by a car, been picked up by a molester, etc.. etc...

So I guess what I'm asking for advice is -

1.How do we find out what actually is wrong with her? Her medical condition? Meaning what type of mental handicap does she suffer from? Without my in laws sharing anything about her in the past and refusing to help her or take her to a doctor, our hands are tied.

2.Why is she acting out like this now? Was it just a matter of time? Or if we knew the actual diagnosis of her condition, is this something that happens to people in her condition at this certain age?

I appreciate you reading this. I didnt know where else to post this and obviously as you've read the parents are no help. And I know legally we can't do anything since her parents have all say in everything.
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