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I ran into the girl I had a crush on in Elementary School

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I ran into the girl I had a crush on in Elementary School

Postby Psyched2000 » Sun Nov 20, 2016 11:49 pm

When I say "ran into," I mean I saw her at a restaurant and didn't have the guts to talk to her. I'm 16 years old and was diagnosed with Autism Spectrum disorder a few years ago, I believe myself to be in the Aspergers Syndrome range. I went to school with this girl for 6 years, I think she was the only kid in the same class as me every year, perhaps the teachers took notice of my infatuation and decided to keep us in the same class? (Although, I didn't start to have feelings for her until around 2nd grade.) I'll warn you now, my crush on this girl was obsessive and still is. So, I'm sitting at my table (alone) and waiting for my order of a cheeseburger and fries while drinking my favorite drink, Dr. Pepper, and she walks past me and seems to look back at her friend, at this point I recognize her and my stomach sinks. I probably wouldn't have recognized her, but I've been stalking her on Instagram under a fake name for the past year. I've also had dreams about her and my old friends on a regular basis since Elementary School ended, I haven't kept in contact with any of them. At this point I can't think about anything but her and when my food arrives I apologetically ask for my food to be put in a to-go box because my appetite has been destroyed. I fold up napkin so she has something to write her number on when I ask for it, but I leave the restaurant in all my cowardice. I cross the street and then stop and pace back and forth thinking about my options. I could walk back in there and say "Hey, it's me, we went to school together for 6 years, can I have your number?" What's the worst that can happen, she says no? But here's the catch, I already asked her out 6 years ago and after she turned me down politely I was sick in bed for 3 days. "What's the point in bothering her? She already gave me her answer. But it's been 6 years, and I've grown into quite the handsome young man, mind the acne and poorly groomed hair." I walk back across the street and just before I open the restaurant door I see a boy in between her and her friend. I didn't get a good look at the guy, and I don't think it was her boyfriend, I've seen him on her Instagram, but it was enough to scare me into submission. I ran back home and sulked in my room. Then I thought to myself "You'll regret this for the rest of your life, but they're probably still there, if you run back you can get your answer and be content!" So I run back, with each step more hesitation wells up within me and just before I cross the street, I change my mind. "You made up your mind when you walked through the door, if you walk back in and right up to her you'll look like a creep, and you'll be one too." I felt like $#%^ and thought I should let my feelings out, so I made an account here and wrote this. I know my writing can be a bit over dramatic, sorry!
Last edited by Snaga on Mon Nov 21, 2016 6:35 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: I ran into the girl I had a crush on in Elementary School

Postby Echinacea » Mon Dec 12, 2016 2:15 pm

Its always a good idea to write/type, it helps to clear the mind and hopefully gives some insight to why we need this or that

"What's the point in bothering her? She already gave me her answer. But it's been 6 years,

Well as you say ..you have changed in 6 years ..her answer could have been different imo
people change, situations change so ofc its the normal "what if" that would bug the crap out of you (i know for myself) i hate not knowing. so i'd rather ask than to always be wondering

Crushes can be strong and yea sometimes obsessive ..we are human and tend to fixate on someone something and i think as long as it is respectful and not "stalkish" it can be ok. its when it gets out of hand thats when you worry
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Re: I ran into the girl I had a crush on in Elementary School

Postby Snaga » Mon Dec 12, 2016 4:41 pm

Nothing ventured... nothing gained. But it's very hard to step out of our comfort zone, Don't be too harsh on yourself

Tell someone you love them today, because Life is short. But scream it at them in Klingon, because Life is also terrifying and confusing.


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