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Support for parents with AS children

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Re: Support for parents with AS children

Postby shock_the_monkey » Thu Apr 19, 2018 7:03 am

seabreezeblue wrote:
shock_the_monkey wrote:... my mother would never have considered this as theft. you shouldn't have children if you don't want to feed them. i have to say that she was never mean or petty in any way with any of us.


mine didn't feed any of us properly at all.. i was severely underweight :(

thinking back to how that felt, and the fact that i stole from everywhere i could.. i can only assume that people with no hunger stop signal, always feel like that, even when they have food inside them.. :|
i know my daughter really struggled with that.. she's a bit better now, but in her early years she was constantly hungry, and she'd cry at bedtime about how hungry she still was.. :|

... i'm sorry SBB, i didn't know. i never went hungry, not even once. my mother was a farmer's daughter. she was absolutely dedicated to providing good meals.
something knocked me out' the trees
now i'm on my knees
... don't you know you're gonna shock the monkey

there is one thing you must be sure of
i can't take any more
... don't you know you're gonna shock the monkey

don't like it but i guess i'm learning

... shock the monkey to life
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Re: Support for parents with AS children

Postby seabreezeblue » Thu Apr 19, 2018 1:43 pm

that's okay, i've not really needed to mention it on this part of the site before.

i'm glad your mother fed you properly.. i wish mine had, most of my childhood was spent trying to get food any way i could.
i love cooking for people myself, and watching people enjoy something i've made is nice - never did understand how my mother could have plenty of food, plenty of money, but feed us barely anything while eating so much herself.. :|
all of us severely underweight, and her being obese.

How are things going right now Seabird?
Shine me a light up
and i'll run round the moon..
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Re: Support for parents with AS children

Postby oyarbide » Mon Nov 12, 2018 11:57 am

Hello, everybody.
I'm father of a 12 years old boy who has been diagnosed with Asperger a year ago. We've been lucky because teachers and psychologists at his school, a mainstream school, are trying to help as much as they can, although that's far from enough. He is also going to therapy once a week along with three more asperger boys and girls his age and that one is working fine.
It's now, after a year, that my wife and I are starting to realize what really means to be parents to an asperger kid. Because we were coping with the situation as if he was a regular kid with some special needs, but it's only now that we're feeling the situation is far more complicated. I'd like to know if that's the case to some of you. For example it's very difficult, almost impossible for him to take note of all the homework, to organize the time to study the exams, and so at school. And one doesn't know how much is the Asperger and how much simple lack of interest like the one could show a normal kid his age. That carries us to family discussions. Only now we're starting to realize he is doing things as best as he can and that is the Asperger which makes him to be so so so disorganized. Everybody considers him a brilliant boy with a high intellectual capacity, but that's only on paper, because the results at school are below average.
He is entering puberty, which is an added problem as well. And he has some violent outbursts and fights with some fellow students.

Wow! What a complicated situation.

It would be great to hear your opinion and similar experiences.

Thanks everybody.
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Re: Support for parents with AS children

Postby shock_the_monkey » Thu Nov 15, 2018 1:11 am

i went undiagnosed until my mid 40s. i'm still not sure whether that was a blessing or a curse. i hear that early intervention can be very effective. on the other hand, i can well imagine that being labelled as having a psychiatric disorder could be very de-motivating.

from my own experience, self-interest is absolutely essential. anything that i had no interest in i put no effort into. this was particularly true of reading. at primary school i could see no point in reading, as i was only interested in pictures. and adults just assumed that i ought to be interested in reading without ever considering that they might actually need to explain why to me. needless to say, my english suffered as a consequence.

however, i was naturally gifted at arts and crafts. unfortunately, i gave up these interests to study sciences, as i felt they offered a better career path. looking back, i think that was a mistake.

and i think this is at the heart of my advice to you. you should support your son in whatever he feels most suits him. you shouldn't necessarily try to make him into someone that he isn't. he may well have weaknesses. however, he should look to and develop his strengths. these are what will offer him the happiest life.

as for stress, my parents made the mistake of forcing me to give up my stims, which were essential to my stress reduction. no doubt they thought these were embarrassing and inappropriate for my age. again, i think it's important not to force someone into a role that doesn't suit them. i wasn't normal and i couldn't just pretend to be normal either.
something knocked me out' the trees
now i'm on my knees
... don't you know you're gonna shock the monkey

there is one thing you must be sure of
i can't take any more
... don't you know you're gonna shock the monkey

don't like it but i guess i'm learning

... shock the monkey to life
shock_the_monkey
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Posts: 4974
Joined: Tue Jan 15, 2008 10:36 pm
Local time: Tue Dec 01, 2020 3:47 pm
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