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Uncertain and in love

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Uncertain and in love

Postby InvisibleOne » Mon Jan 06, 2020 8:48 pm

I'm not sure if this will fit in here, but I'll give it a try. A few months ago I met this guy who I ended up falling madly in love with, but the thing is, he lives on the other side of the country. Because of his work schedule and my studies, we haven't been able to see each other much, I've only been with him irl a few times and the last time I saw him was almost 6 months ago. We've talked mostly through messenger and snapchat and a few phone calls, and when we hung out we didn't get to do more than just talk a little since my bff and her boyfriend (his best friend) were also there and we didn't really know each other that well yet. I have AS and started uni this school year, and also convinced my parents to let me move out since I wanted to try and become more independent. They were very against me moving out now, but eventually let me do it. I live about an hour away from them so it's not very far, but they were constantly doubting my ability to manage on my own, and I proved them wrong. So I've been living by myself for less than 6 months now, but now I really want to move to his city so I can be with him. I know I could just wait until I'm done with my bachelors' degree in 2,5 years, cause then my parents will let me move wherever I want, but I don't know if I can manage waiting that long. Me and him haven't really gotten round to talking about us, and we're not in a relationship either, but I don't think he wants a long distance relationship. He has told me he can't really handle the distance, so now I'm worried that if I don't get to move to be with him in time, I will lose him. I don't really think my parents will let me move there yet, since they just let me move an hour away, and I'm not sure if I'm ready. It was fine moving here since I already know the area and have friends living here, but I don't really know his city, I've only been there once and don't know anyone there besides him and a few of his friends. I think moving there now might be really stressful for me since it will be a new school, new people and a place I barely know. But at the same time, I have never felt this strongly about someone before, and I don't know if something like this will ever happen again. Should I wait, and for how long? Is 2 years too long to wait if he says he can't really handle a LDR? What can I do to avoid losing him, or to help with the stress of moving there, if that is what I decide to do?
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Re: Uncertain and in love

Postby shock_the_monkey » Fri Jan 17, 2020 7:10 pm

i'll try not to be too heartless here but basically this is an infatuation born out of inexperience. chances are that if you chase after it, you'll be deeply disappointed. stay where you are, get your degree, and if this relationship doesn't last the distance then it wasn't worth chasing after anyway. happiness comes from within not without. other people can't make you happy. believing that they can is a big mistake. sure, we need other people in our lives. but most of all we need to be self-assured and the best way to achieve that is to make our own future. maybe this relationship will be a part of your future. maybe not too. but it isn't the totality of your future, and that's the mistake that you're making here thinking that it is or could be. it just isn't.
something knocked me out' the trees
now i'm on my knees
... don't you know you're gonna shock the monkey

there is one thing you must be sure of
i can't take any more
... don't you know you're gonna shock the monkey

don't like it but i guess i'm learning

... shock the monkey to life
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