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I'm just flew into this,and boy are my arms tired.

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I'm just flew into this,and boy are my arms tired.

Postby erickd1425 » Mon Aug 12, 2019 6:21 pm

Hi Group.
I'm recently self-diagnosed,and I've been having some difficulty incorporating Aspergers into my mindset.
I've always thought of myself as mainstream, but a bit different.
When my wife brought up the possibility that I had it, my reaction was as would be expected, but I went along and did the research, took the online questionnaires, and ultimately came up with the same conclusion.

Despite following the patterns that we all fall prey to, I am struggling with my lack of ability to consistently be engaged with my wife and putting her needs for comfort, intimacy, and empathy to the front of my mind.

Are there any first hand success stories you may have which would give us greater hope? We love each other enough to want a lasting relationship, but are driving each other crazy with our struggles.

Common topics of argument include, but not limited to:
Lack of emotional engagement
Mechanical physical contact
Conflict avoidance with third parties, perceived as lack of support
Repeating habits, despite promises to take corrective steps

Thanks in advance
erickd1425
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Re: I'm just flew into this,and boy are my arms tired.

Postby shock_the_monkey » Mon Jan 20, 2020 6:16 am

i have almost got to the point where i want to say: if you don't want a relationship with an aspie, don't marry one. also, don't expect the aspie in your life to understand you if you're not prepared to put the work in to understand them too. there's plenty of information about AS available now. it's just a matter of having the will to look for it. aspies have a lot of good qualities too, not least of all honesty and loyalty. learn to appreciate them. i used to advise people to diversify their social circle so as to get their emotional needs met elsewhere, if necessary. but that isn't really the fundamental issue here. it's more a matter of being mature enough to be self-reliant. and a big part of that is quite simply self-esteem.
something knocked me out' the trees
now i'm on my knees
... don't you know you're gonna shock the monkey

there is one thing you must be sure of
i can't take any more
... don't you know you're gonna shock the monkey

don't like it but i guess i'm learning

... shock the monkey to life
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