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Intimacy with new boyfriend

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Intimacy with new boyfriend

Postby Peppa1980 » Sat Apr 27, 2019 8:46 pm

Hi all,

My boyfriend of 4 months says he is likely to have aspergers. He has never been formally diagnosed, however, he demonstrates many of the usual signs: verbose, articulate, excels within the parameters of his narrow interests, but somewhat self-centered and has a tendency to ramble on about work (sometimes until 1 or 2 in the morning!) We've had a wonderful sexual relationship until last week, when he abruptly stated that sex has been too frequent for his tastes and he wants to have a week "off" while still spending all of our free time together. He claims sex is exhausting and he needs to save his energy for other things in his life. We talked at length about what would work for him in the future and he wants to have a week on and a week or more off. I am very confused because he seemed very enthusiastic until now. To complicate matters, he originally told me he was interested in having children, but now he can't seem to recall having that conversation and is no longer seeing that as a possibility. Is this normal for men with Asperger's to make such abrupt changes in their desires and plans? I really care about him but I'm no longer sure we will be compatible enough to move forward.
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Re: Intimacy with new boyfriend

Postby Afterimage » Sun Apr 28, 2019 2:55 am

Hello Peppa; I was in a relationship with a aspergers woman for 1 1/2 years. The sex was great the first several months and I though she really enjoyed it. Then after that, she told me she never really liked sex. I was shocked. I would never have guessed that. She said she was like that with in all her past relationships. She wound up only wanting to have sex once a week to once a month.

I would suggest you do a lot of research into NT/AS relationships. Most of them are very difficult and don't last. Do a search on google and read all you can. They have a lot more issues than just lacking desire for sex. I doubt if I would ever date someone on the spectrum again.
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Re: Intimacy with new boyfriend

Postby shock_the_monkey » Sun Apr 28, 2019 7:05 pm

i think you need to think about the relationship, without that being clouded by this potential diagnosis. if the relationship isn't going in the direction you want, that's what really matters. you certainly don't seem happy with this recent turn of events. you should be honest about that with him. only then can you hope to see where you future lies, with or without him.
something knocked me out' the trees
now i'm on my knees
... don't you know you're gonna shock the monkey

there is one thing you must be sure of
i can't take any more
... don't you know you're gonna shock the monkey

don't like it but i guess i'm learning

... shock the monkey to life
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