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How do you get your emotional needs met?

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How do you get your emotional needs met?

Postby pamelaperejil » Thu Aug 02, 2018 1:38 pm

Do you ask directly? Do you ask indirectly? Do manipulate? Does what you do work? Are you apt to meet the emotional needs of other people when they need it? Do you have difficulty focusing on others? How do you feel when you miss a cue and hurt someone inadvertently?
previously: pleasnpetrichor, perejil

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Re: How do you get your emotional needs met?

Postby AprilR » Mon Aug 06, 2018 10:45 pm

Personally i act like they don't exist and start hating everyone.

-- Mon Aug 06, 2018 10:45 pm --

Personally i act like they don't exist and start hating everyone.
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Re: How do you get your emotional needs met?

Postby seabreezeblue » Wed Aug 15, 2018 12:09 pm

pamelaperejil wrote:Do you ask directly? Do you ask indirectly? Do manipulate? Does what you do work? Are you apt to meet the emotional needs of other people when they need it? Do you have difficulty focusing on others? How do you feel when you miss a cue and hurt someone inadvertently?


For the most part, i meet my own emotional needs - i need very little in the way of comforting or interaction.
The rest of it i have my needs met through my family (my family does not include my parents btw).. and through the few friend i have.

I ask in a mixture of direct and indirect i suppose.. just like most other people.. :?
If i'm feeling low and need comforting, i tell someone that i want comfort from.. i keep it to myself with people that i don't want comfort from.
I never manipulate afaik and if i ever catch myself doing something that could be construed as manipulative, i step back and stop.

If i miss a cue and hurt someone, i feel awful about it and apologise.. i don't tend to miss cues often though - the hypervigilance of c-ptsd sees to that.
Shine me a light up
and i'll run round the moon..



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Re: How do you get your emotional needs met?

Postby vahleegirl123 » Tue Aug 28, 2018 11:55 pm

Hi all,

I’ve been dating my guy (who I suspect has Asperger) since the past 6 months. He’s unaware or doesn’t believe he has it, but I’m sure of it – all the signs point that way. Since the relationship is still new, I was hoping to get some advice or insight on how Aspies show love. Since they normally find it pointless to repeatedly say ‘I love you’ or give verbal confirmations/reassurances/compliments etc. Instead of forcing my Aspie bf to do or say something he doesn’t want to do (as it will lose its meaning if he’s doing it forcefully or because I told him to) how do I notice or recognize his way of showing love, apart from the obvious one that because he’s still with me, so obviously it’s because he loves me. He’s told me that a couple of times, but gets annoyed by my need to hear it time and again (he thinks I’m being needy and naggy). He doesn’t understand how happy it makes me hearing him say that. I want to find a middle ground where I can use his language of love (by reading or knowing the signs) to get the comfort and reassurance that I crave and be happy with it, without having to force him to do or say something he doesn’t see the logic in. What should I be looking for? As long as I can see regular signs of love in some form or the other, I’ll be more than happy. I know that the way of showing love will vary in different Aspies as no two people are the same, but there might be some things in common. Any suggestions will be welcomed at this point. He loves to cuddle. But I wish there was more than that for me to go on, and it’s hard for me to wait for those infrequent moments (like once in 2-3 weeks) when he feels like saying I love you. And those moments come when I’ve done something exceptional for him to say it. It’s hard for me to be exceptional every day just to get him to say those three magic words, even though I try really hard, trust me ;) Help me please.

-V
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