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Did you ever go into hiding?

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Did you ever go into hiding?

Postby pamelaperejil » Fri Jul 27, 2018 8:21 pm

... your "self", I mean. Did you ever learn to pretend to be somebody else? Copy others? Lose yourself?

I did this growing up, to fit in. I couldn't learn to copy others, so instead I just let myself die. Walked around like a Zombie. My real self went into hibernation, only to come out now in full force, like a genie finally let out of a bottle after 1,000 years. I think this is where this impulse (compulsion?) towards self expression comes from. Emotional exhibitionism. From being repressed. From being shamed. From being told my real self wasn't good enough. From having to hide. In doing this, I imagine I'm hitting a developmental milestone I missed the first time around.

Or maybe I'm wrong, maybe this hiding (disciplining?) of the self IS the developmental milestone. To understand the need to supress the self for one's own sake and the sake of others. To exercise self mastery.

Am I finding myself? Or just refusing to grow up?
previously: pleasnpetrichor, perejil

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Re: Did you ever go into hiding?

Postby pamelaperejil » Wed Aug 01, 2018 9:50 am

THE WORST ADVICE (YOUTUBE):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vPf9CLMG2Es
previously: pleasnpetrichor, perejil

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Very well then I contradict myself,
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Re: Did you ever go into hiding?

Postby iabsurdlyexist » Wed Aug 01, 2018 12:06 pm

That's part of socialization, fitting in with your society. For some, it's easy (NT's). For the rest of us, it takes effort and then some. I spent my whole life trying to do what I thought was the american dream. I accomplished it and then wondered how the hell I got here. So, I was socialized but now I am regressing back to who I really was. It requires too much energy to keep it up.
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Re: Did you ever go into hiding?

Postby NaiveInu » Thu Oct 25, 2018 4:07 pm

I entered this topic with the intention of talking about the moment when I hid myself behind a shopping cart in the street because my mom yelled at me but I guess this is not my topic
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