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Do Aspies notice social faux paus in other aspies?

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Do Aspies notice social faux paus in other aspies?

Postby pamelaperejil » Fri Jul 20, 2018 2:46 pm

Title self explanatory. Do you notice when another aspie is "off"?
previously: pleasnpetrichor, perejil

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Very well then I contradict myself,
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Re: Do Aspies notice social faux paus in other aspies?

Postby shock_the_monkey » Sat Jul 21, 2018 7:22 am

a few weeks ago i went to see my friends that run a gift shop. as usual, one of them offered me a cup of tea. i accepted and we both say down at a table and had a good old chat about this and that. it had been incredibly hot. indeed the weather only really broke yesterday with some rain. and there was a lot of pollen too. and i don't do heat and i certainly don't do pollen. so, i wasn't feeling well. on leaving, my friend asked me if i felt better. i didn't. i was still much too hot and generally suffering from the pollen. so, i said 'no'. where upon my friend said 'oh well, i won't offer you a cup of tea again' ... oops!!!

so, whilst i can spot other peoples' mistakes, it doesn't stop me making my own.
something knocked me out' the trees
now i'm on my knees
... don't you know you're gonna shock the monkey

there is one thing you must be sure of
i can't take any more
... don't you know you're gonna shock the monkey

don't like it but i guess i'm learning

... shock the monkey to life
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Re: Do Aspies notice social faux paus in other aspies?

Postby pamelaperejil » Sat Jul 21, 2018 8:22 am

Thank you for your efforts. I just want to be sure you know you don't have to keep answering these threads if you don't feel like it.

I wonder, was that the passive aggressive victim mentality of a borderline or the socially retarded bluntness of an aspie?

Seriously, though, I can't tell if you're just humoring me.
previously: pleasnpetrichor, perejil

Do I contradict myself?
Very well then I contradict myself,
(I am large, I contain multitudes.)
Walt Whitman, Song of Myself
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Re: Do Aspies notice social faux paus in other aspies?

Postby shock_the_monkey » Sat Jul 21, 2018 2:21 pm

you over-analyse. very aspie. if there's a difference between you and me, i know when i'm doing it and you don't. also, i'll just brush it off, whereas you need re-assurance. you lack confidence in yourself, because you don't know yourself as well as i know myself. i have a vague idea that you look for answers externally, rather than internally, to yourself. i think you're allowing other people to define you too much. possibly that need to be social. i got that knocked out of me very early in my life. i've spent my life on the outside looking in. and it's become almost impossible for me to shake that feeling that i never belong anywhere.
something knocked me out' the trees
now i'm on my knees
... don't you know you're gonna shock the monkey

there is one thing you must be sure of
i can't take any more
... don't you know you're gonna shock the monkey

don't like it but i guess i'm learning

... shock the monkey to life
shock_the_monkey
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Re: Do Aspies notice social faux paus in other aspies?

Postby pamelaperejil » Sat Jul 21, 2018 2:54 pm

shock_the_monkey wrote:you over-analyse. very aspie.


We are similar in many respects, but...

Unable to self soothe. Frantic efforts to avoid abandonment. Paranoia. Needs other to define self.
Very BPD.

But, thanks. I deeply appreciate your interest and concern.
previously: pleasnpetrichor, perejil

Do I contradict myself?
Very well then I contradict myself,
(I am large, I contain multitudes.)
Walt Whitman, Song of Myself
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Re: Do Aspies notice social faux paus in other aspies?

Postby pamelaperejil » Sat Jul 21, 2018 3:34 pm

shock_the_monkey wrote: you lack confidence in yourself, because you don't know yourself as well as i know myself.


That's certainly true. How did you come to have such self awareness?

i have a vague idea that you look for answers externally, rather than internally, to yourself. i think you're allowing other people to define you too much. possibly that need to be social. i got that knocked out of me very early in my life.


I'm sorry to hear that, it must have been very hard.

i've spent my life on the outside looking in. and it's become almost impossible for me to shake that feeling that i never belong anywhere.


Again, sorry to hear it. You're a good man, and you deserve better.
previously: pleasnpetrichor, perejil

Do I contradict myself?
Very well then I contradict myself,
(I am large, I contain multitudes.)
Walt Whitman, Song of Myself
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pamelaperejil
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Re: Do Aspies notice social faux paus in other aspies?

Postby shock_the_monkey » Sat Jul 21, 2018 5:35 pm

pamelaperejil wrote:
shock_the_monkey wrote: you lack confidence in yourself, because you don't know yourself as well as i know myself.


That's certainly true. How did you come to have such self awareness?

... when i got sacked from my job as an aerospace engineer my world abruptly ended. everything got stripped away: career, friends, future, the lot. to this day it still hurts ... if i think about it. out of that i was forced to think very hard about who i really was. a big part of that process was that at the same time i discovered asperger's syndrome. i finally had some tangible basis for why my life had been so difficult. and with that i gained greater acceptance of my natural inclinations, rather than fighting them and wondering why i could never be like other people. so, i don't try anymore. i'm more content in my knowledge of who i was born to be. i won't say that i don't wonder how things might have been different but i don't get so hung up about it not being so anymore. i'm much more fatalistic, in that i've stopped striving for things that were always out of my reach. now, by no means am i perfect but i'm more enlightened than most. there are still plenty of things that i ought to be doing better. i'm just not prepared to crucify myself trying anymore. i figure that once is enough for any lifetime.
something knocked me out' the trees
now i'm on my knees
... don't you know you're gonna shock the monkey

there is one thing you must be sure of
i can't take any more
... don't you know you're gonna shock the monkey

don't like it but i guess i'm learning

... shock the monkey to life
shock_the_monkey
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Re: Do Aspies notice social faux paus in other aspies?

Postby iabsurdlyexist » Sat Jul 21, 2018 6:00 pm

shock_the_monkey wrote:... when i got sacked from my job as an aerospace engineer my world abruptly ended. everything got stripped away: career, friends, future, the lot. to this day it still hurts ... if i think about it. out of that i was forced to think very hard about who i really was. a big part of that process was that at the same time i discovered asperger's syndrome. i finally had some tangible basis for why my life had been so difficult. and with that i gained greater acceptance of my natural inclinations, rather than fighting them and wondering why i could never be like other people. so, i don't try anymore. i'm more content in my knowledge of who i was born to be. i won't say that i don't wonder how things might have been different but i don't get so hung up about it not being so anymore. i'm much more fatalistic, in that i've stopped striving for things that were always out of my reach. now, by no means am i perfect but i'm more enlightened than most. there are still plenty of things that i ought to be doing better. i'm just not prepared to crucify myself trying anymore. i figure that once is enough for any lifetime.


I guess were in a similar boat but it seems you are further along and I am just discovering this. I guess a slight difference is that I was a computer programmer and I had to quit due to a major depressive episode. With the new management, I was sure to be pushed out anyway. I admit, I feel much better about my situation even though now I am unemployed and have little in the way to support a family. It's kind of weird.
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