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Unwanted Memories

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Unwanted Memories

Postby JasperStiglitz » Thu Jan 12, 2017 11:52 am

I have experienced an abundance of unwanted memories since starting bupropion. At higher doses, I would fixate on specific events or people from my past, often intensely and with paranoia. As I have begun tapering off, the specific, intense memories have become more generalized. I remember more things, with lower intensity anxiety. Today is my first day without the medication (the doctor instructed my to take one tablet every other day for the next 6 days from here on out), and now I am experiencing a review of many people and events that I would otherwise not contemplate. The whole time on the drug, I have experienced a great deal of shame about my youth. Indeed, I'm not proud of the person I was or the people with whom I associated, but now I find myself in an unpleasant review of all the things I would sooner forget. There has been some benefit to all this; it has prompted me to make a conscious break with my past, whereas before, I ignored it and let myself become numb. I would like to move on, however, and am trying to push my mind in positive directions. I believe this unpleasant memory business to be an aspect of my bupropion experience. I seem to have a very negative reaction to it, and perhaps with it still being in my system, and my brain being mixed up after over a month of thinking about little except my anxiety and obsessions and memories, none of this should be surprising. I'm just trying to ride it out and complete the taper. Thankfully, the less of the medication I take, the less anxiety I have.
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