How to deal with constant anxiety?

Hello everybody,

For as long as I can remember I have suffered from anxiety. It manifested itself differently when I was younger (fear of being left out/missing out, not being good enough, difficulty fitting in etc). In my early/pre teens it got worse as I would feel incredibly guilty for silly things such as cheating on a test, or bringing home a toy that wasnt mine from after school when I was a child.
I am now 21, in my third year of college, not doing too bad although I could certainly be doing better. My anxiety has been dominating my life for at least the past 5 years. Before I open my eyes in the morning I feel sick to my stomach, panicky, overwhelmed and most of all extremely guilty. The problem is I have no idea why I'm feely this way. Of course difficult events have occurred in my life in these past few years but generally there seems to be no logical explanation for me feeling so terrible. The anxiety lasts throughout the day, meaning I am never able to relax. I find myself unable to do things and stuck in bed a lot of the time, feeling absolutely horrible about myself.
I'm a very sociable person with the people I know, but I find it extremely difficult to make new friends. I am in my 3rd year of college and I don't know anyone in my course.
I also hate change, I was exposed to a lot of it growing up and now it puts me through huge states of anxiety.
I've seen a lot of professionals, taken medication (zoloft, xanax, stressam..), but nothing seems to work except for the medicine that helps line my stomach as I constantly felt like getting sick, and often did.
I'm writing to you today because I am so tired of being paralyzed by something that is all in my head. I know I'm not a bad person. I know I have it in me to be a sociable, happy and satisfied person.
I simply wish I could wake up in the morning and feel happy, as I am truly grateful for everyone in my life, the opportunities that are offered to me, and all the material things I own. I just wish my mind would leave me in peace, even just for a day so I can really be happy, and not pretend that I feel okay. I dont remember what it feels like to be okay..

I don't even know why I am posting, I just need some advice, I need to hear that this wont last forever although it has been going on my whole life.

Thank you

Dear chickennuggets:

I know anxiety and am sorry you suffer from it too and for as long as you remember yourself. I find myself afraid this very evening but I notice that my fear this evening is nothing close to the intensity it used to be. I learned through therapy to pay attention to how I feel when in the past I didn't know. I only knew I was out of control, overwhelmed with dread. But now I can tell when it starts and then I calm myself.

You wrote that you saw a lot of professional. Was any one of them a psychotherapist and did you get any insight into how and why that anxiety, excess, ongoing fear started?

I got insight into the origin of my anxiety and over time, it helped me understand that there was never really anything wrong with me from birth. That was a revelation. I used to think I was defected. Now I understand my anxiety is understandable considering the circumstances of my childhood.

atina