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The Official Off Topic Thread

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Re: The Official Off Topic Thread

Postby Bellicose » Sun Apr 14, 2019 6:49 pm

My mind can't mind at the moment.

I have been dosing on x for a few days. Could probably be why it's coming out like that.

I went to someone's house right in the middle of the trip and sat next to them and acted really cuddley and loving which surprised them. I think that's why people stay around. I show them glimpses of something more and they want to get to it.
:)
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Re: The Official Off Topic Thread

Postby Manners73 » Sun Apr 14, 2019 7:11 pm

Bellicose wrote:My mind can't mind at the moment.

I have been dosing on x for a few days. Could probably be why it's coming out like that.

I went to someone's house right in the middle of the trip and sat next to them and acted really cuddley and loving which surprised them. I think that's why people stay around. I show them glimpses of something more and they want to get to it.


I do relate to that part. I can switch my loveliness on and off and it can make me seem attractive to people but inside there's absolutely nada. I'm sort of aware that I'm doing it but at the same time it's involuntary as well. It's manipulation in my case but it's not malicious. It's more a survival thing so people think I'm "normal".

I learned from people who really do care and I copied for many years until it has become a part of me.

What is x anyway?
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Re: The Official Off Topic Thread

Postby Bellicose » Sun Apr 14, 2019 8:03 pm

Mdma.

I think I was just in that kind of space. Still am. I spent about an hour rubbing my blanket against my cheek. Also got a bunch of free plants from the nursery today because I was so nice to the manager. He also asked me out for coffee. I gave him a fake number. I wanted the free plants.
:)
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Re: The Official Off Topic Thread

Postby solemnlysworn » Mon Apr 15, 2019 2:00 am

lol it's the inside of your cheek you wanna be concerned about little miss molly

-- Mon Apr 15, 2019 2:03 am --

I went the x route today too. Got given it. Other people prefer me. I'm attentive and present in a way we can share.

Otherwise I'm there but by myself. Nobody gets to see.
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Re: The Official Off Topic Thread

Postby Manners73 » Mon Apr 15, 2019 5:14 am

solemnlysworn wrote:lol it's the inside of your cheek you wanna be concerned about little miss molly

-- Mon Apr 15, 2019 2:03 am --

I went the x route today too. Got given it. Other people prefer me. I'm attentive and present in a way we can share.

Otherwise I'm there but by myself. Nobody gets to see.


It's an interesting drug to be honest. I don't actually like it on it's own but when I've used it with amphetamine I've learned to curb my temper on it I've felt like I've had space in my head to really think through what I'm doing before I act.

I haven't taken it for years.
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Re: The Official Off Topic Thread

Postby Bellicose » Mon Apr 15, 2019 8:24 am

I'll let other people be concerned about the inside of my cheek.
:)
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Re: The Official Off Topic Thread

Postby solemnlysworn » Mon Apr 15, 2019 7:40 pm

Manners73 wrote:I've learned to curb my temper on it I've felt like I've had space in my head to really think through what I'm doing before I act.


Have you looked back at having foot-stomping temper-tantrums and been able to work out what's going on in your head at the time?
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Re: The Official Off Topic Thread

Postby Manners73 » Mon Apr 15, 2019 7:53 pm

solemnlysworn wrote:
Manners73 wrote:I've learned to curb my temper on it I've felt like I've had space in my head to really think through what I'm doing before I act.


Have you looked back at having foot-stomping temper-tantrums and been able to work out what's going on in your head at the time?


I put my anger/temper down to PTSD.

It's really difficult for me to control when it happens and it always seems irrational. It is the worst part about me.

When I was using MDMA for a short while it was as though I could vocalise myself without having to verbally rip someone apart. It was as though I could see what would normally cause the anger but it was all slowed down so I had time to think about what I was going to do.

I kind of liked being able to deal with people in this way.
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Re: The Official Off Topic Thread

Postby SoloZombie » Tue Apr 16, 2019 12:19 am

I want to f*ck my therapist half to death!
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Re: The Official Off Topic Thread

Postby Manners73 » Tue Apr 16, 2019 5:12 am

SoloZombie wrote:I want to f*ck my therapist half to death!


Can I watch?
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