Schadenfreude (no humor allowed)

Well, hello friends.

Ever since I was a little girl I've always derived great pleasure from the misfortunes of others, perhaps because I was so deprived myself.

To this day, nothing quite satisfies me like hearing about another's suffering or loss.

The realization that I was sick in this way came to me on September 11, 2001. Upon hearing the news that the twin towers were hit - twice - everyone around me was devastated. I, on the other hand, was overjoyed, and seeing their shocked and worried faces only heightened my silent cheer. I remember I had to hide my mouth with my hand frequently to conceal my grin during the many discussions I was forced to partake in with fellow students of the incident following its initial broadcast. I could hardly contain the delight I felt that day.

And now I ask you: When did you first realize that you derive pleasure from the misfortunes of others? What was the incident which led to this knowledge about yourself?

(to prevent derailment of this thread no humor will be allowed. thank you)

That's a reallly good question Crys.

For me, I've always gotten pleasure out of the suffering of others; but only if I inflict it, or if it's sexual suffering- it can be from anyone and I enjoy it.

Looking back, and investigating my past, I can now see that this has been life long; but I never made the connection before recently.

When I was lost in the bubble of my disordered ways, and unaware of these things I don't think I was even able to put that together in my mind. I would just do it because it felt good. Get caught for doing waht ever I did. Play sorry, make superficial ammends if necessary, and do it again when the situation called for it.

I loved plotting and acting out my plans to destroy someone- if felt amazing and I was totally happy in that revenge, knowing they would be hurt. Waiting for them figure it out, feel it, be affected was like foreplay. Watching them suffer at my cause a total sence of pride and calm. But I didn't see these things for what they were and how they happened until I started really looking into myself and searching for answers- then I saw it and it was a tough pill to swallow.


Sorry I don't have a more specific event (like your Sep 11th example) to be a firm realization of my Schadenfreudeness. When I was lost in my disorders I didn't see these things because I didn't care to look for them. They didn't matter because to me the only thing that mattered was my pleasure, at any cost, how it got it was not of concern- as long as I got it,if you know what I mean...

And now I ask you: When did you first realize that you derive pleasure from the misfortunes of others?

I don't. Really, I do find it suprising that other people do, at least in cases that they don't benefit from. I know of a guy who derived pleasure from seeing random people jump to their deaths in WTC, despite the fact og him living in Poland and getting no benefit wether these people live or die.

I am not one to back off from causing the misfortunes of others, but I'd never do taht unless I felt there was some advantage to be gained from this for myself. Doing that for its own sake sounds pointless and a waste of effort. As a rather lazy person, I dislike wasted effort.

Probably when I was a kid and heard about a series of school shootings at high schools where people would bring guns to school and shoot and kill random people for no apparent reason. I found the concept funny and imagined a school with randomly murdered bodies everywhere and decided it was amusing to hear the news whenever they happened.

I've always enjoyed the suffering and misfortunes of others. I laughed when my younger sister got 3rd degree burns on her hands when I was 6 years old... that would be my first real memory of finding it very enjoyable. The second memory was when I tried to drown my sister at the beach when I was 10 and she was 6 but I got caught and lied to cover up the fact I was trying to kill her. The first real misfortunes caused by me personally was when I was 14 years old and set many, many things on fire including my school as well as a 12 year old kid. I laughed so hard I couldn't hide the fact I enjoyed it. Even while in the youth psychiatric center for an inpatient assessment (court ordered) I would smirk when asked about what I did. That was when I really made the connection with how much I enjoyed it. Thankfully now I can hide the fact I enjoy others suffering and misfortunes!

Something about drowning a little girl is unsettling for me. Maybe it's because I (being a little girl at the time) had a longstanding childhood fear of being alone in an open ocean with no one to save me, and a fear of dying by drowning generally...

That's so strange. I laughed at (and actually did myself) many of the things you mentioned (thanks for posting those were great ) but drowning a little girl...my conscience kicked in there. (As it does every so often). That's so strange. I know I'm not a psychopath, it's to be expected I would react to some things, but why the drowning of a little girl by my own hands? (Sorry just thinking outloud here..lol)

Keep your stories comin' guys! I want to hear from everyone.

I have a secret phobia of water so I've fantasized about drowning people, or at least killing people and then disposing of their bodies in bodies of water such as lakes or ponds. There is something very disturbing about a body in water for me. My conscience does not kick in thinking about a little girl drowning but I can see why it would for you crystal. It would gross if I ever found a little dead girl floating in water but it would also fascinate me.

I have another instance where I realized I enjoyed the suffering of others, killing fish when I was a little kid, torturing them to death with hooks, knives, and fire was fun for me. I never treated my pets like that but wild animals were fair game. Also in elementary school I kicked one of my best friends in the crotch and I thought it was hilarious the way he dropped to the ground so quickly and almost threw up. I was ecstatically amused by that, I'm surprised he forgave me.

Yaaa! I don't know if it's conscience. I just...felt different about that you know? It's disturbing. I HATE seeing dead bodies in water (I'd MUCH rather see them on the freeway ) and I just...I don't know..It must be my childhood fear. Nothing else could explain my idiosyncratic reaction to reading that. Anyway, enough of that.

You know what, I actually used to torture my babysitter's cats. And in elementary school I kicked this older person I was bullying so hard in the balls he had to go to hospital (no joke, apparently one of his testicle migrated up to his stomach or something but i think that was just a rumour). But i didn't realize that I actually liked causing and hearing about the suffering and misfortunes of others from these incidences.

I think the critical factor that has to be present is the reactions of others. When everyone around you is negatively affected by something apparently big and in a big way, seeing their reactions and comparing them to your own, you just realize: "hey, I like causing/witnessing/hearing about the suffering and misfortunes of others...that's weird..and i need to conceal it or I'll attract negative attention to myself".

I laughed really hard when I read about you kicking someone in the balls so hard he went to the hospital. I find that very funny! I'm still laughing as a matter of fact.

Violence is just funny to me, it makes me laugh, especially the reactions of the person who gets hurt. Watching violent movies makes me laugh my head off, they are like comedies for me, and I don't find comedies very funny.

Edit: Whoops, there is no humor aloud here, sorry about that. I just can't help being so amused by these stories.

ajrocker8 wrote:I laughed really hard when I read about you kicking someone in the balls so hard he went to the hospital. I find that very funny! I'm still laughing as a matter of fact.

Violence is just funny to me, it makes me laugh, especially the reactions of the person who gets hurt. Watching violent movies makes me laugh my head off, they are like comedies for me, and I don't find comedies very funny.

Edit: Whoops, there is no humor aloud here, sorry about that. I just can't help being so amused by these stories.

Okkkk...I should have clarifed. My fault.

You can laugh at each others' stories....what I meant by no humor is that I don't want non's coming in here and diluting or diverting the discussion from it's main topic with humor. Sometimes sh*t gets too serious or topics too distressing on the forums due to their nature (some people might get distressed from reading a thread full of stories in which people get hurt or suffer major losses) and non's come in and try and alleviate that by posting jokes or offering humorous reinterpretations that diminish the rawness of the incident and other non's come in and feed it because they're distressed from reading it too and eventually the point fo the discussion is lost.

So Please! Do laugh at each other stories Personally, I'm finding this thread to be a riot! (barring the little girl drowning, that triggered some weird childhood memories. strange. strange.)

ajrocker8 wrote:Violence is just funny to me, it makes me laugh, especially the reactions of the person who gets hurt. Watching violent movies makes me laugh my head off, they are like comedies for me, and I don't find comedies very funny.

It's their faces (talking about in real life). I love to see people cry it's so funny!



Hahaahah!



LOL!^



Awwwwwww did your house get destroyed in a flood? HAhaha