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Are people scared of you?

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Are people scared of you?

Postby Manners73 » Fri Nov 15, 2019 5:42 pm

I don't mean when you are actively attempting to scare people.

I mean when you're just being "normal" (for want of a better word).

Like when I'm joking I find that some people take offence and some people just can't get enough..and I just wanna fck their brains out.

The same when I'm just talking to people. I get the vibe that people are actually scared of me so I just don't fcking bother with them anymore...it makes me want to push them over...

Does any of you get this?
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Re: Are people scared of you?

Postby justonemoreperson » Fri Nov 15, 2019 6:12 pm

I think "uncertain" would fit what I see in people around me at times, and uncertainty creates a level of anxiety in normal people. So, cautious rather than scared, I think.

Part of this I can understand, as I'm often direct and generally confrontational, right on the edge of polite, in normal conversation.

With friends I can be, as I'm usually more impulsive and up for doing stuff that maybe makes them nervous, in case they feel they need to put their money where their mouth is and just do it.

That said, when I moved into my current street, I spent the first couple of years not really talking to anyone and when I finally did, the guy said to me, "Yeah, you're the scary guy from down the road."

Apparently, it's the way I walk and my general demeanour. Sometimes my wife will say to me, "you came across as a bit aggressive when you were talking to x," and I had no idea; it wasn't my intention.
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Re: Are people scared of you?

Postby HSS » Fri Nov 15, 2019 6:34 pm

@Manners, don't worry. I saw your photo, I listened to your vocal recordings, and honestly you don't look as a threatening person; moreover you are often joking here, and your communication's style is clear.
You wrote repeatedly about it, and so I understand that you are irritated by this question, but perhaps it's just your impression that people are scared. Sometimes, at least... We all tend to notice facts that confirm our thoughts, and ignore what contradict them.
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Re: Are people scared of you?

Postby Manners73 » Fri Nov 15, 2019 7:13 pm

Thank you. That means a lot.

I am also very direct and I do think its taken the wrong way. I just don't see the point in not being direct.
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Re: Are people scared of you?

Postby ZeroZ » Sat Nov 16, 2019 12:10 am

No, I take great care not to be scary
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Re: Are people scared of you?

Postby Reaper » Sat Nov 16, 2019 1:41 am

I don't think most people in general are scared of me. I think many have been wary and cautious though.

I've been told that I have an intimidating personality by people who know me in real life, and there have been some people online who admitted to being scared of me because of the way I am and the things I talk about. I have a strong, aggressive personality and I think that just puts a lot of people off me more than scares them because they don't really know how to deal with me.

There are some who I believe are afraid of me but would never admit it because it shows weakness. I can read between the lines though and their sarcasm tells me all I need to know about how they're really feeling.
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Re: Are people scared of you?

Postby Jonna » Sat Nov 16, 2019 2:11 am

Reaper's fearful eyes suggests that, at a subconscious level, she's scared of everyone.

post2194250.html#p2194250

The picture is gone. Uploaded pictures stay up unless the uploader deletes them.

She took the picture down because she finally saw the fear in her eyes.

The animal knows itself.
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Re: Are people scared of you?

Postby Reaper » Sat Nov 16, 2019 2:18 am

^ That coming from the person who once threatened to kill me, who also claimed (not too long ago) that hunting season is open, yet has done nothing but sit on his fat ass for years whining about about me is amusing.

Tell me, boy, do I scare you...
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Re: Are people scared of you?

Postby Greebo » Sat Nov 16, 2019 4:25 am

I can be intimidating at times.

There are many factors that can make me difficult to get along with: rigidity, harsh standards, low tolerance of failure, being morose, acerbic, irritable and obstinate, a very wry sense of humour and so on. But fundamentally its an issue of intensity and underlying drive.

A tendency to be soft spoken and philosophic about things at times often belies the tempestuous personality and the mixture of raw zealotry and vitriol which makes it appearance when roused. While I’m not ever physically aggressive, my difficulty in disguising my own intensity can be overwhelming for some. I am a big guy and fairly imposing by dint of stature alone which likely exacerbates the situation.

I get on well with my closer colleagues but people who don’t know what I’m like up close, get the wrong idea and have often been too intimidated to approach me. They’ve often don’t get that the person who would be after their f*cking head if they turned up hungover or put other people at risk by dicking around is the same person who would go out of the way to help if they have legitimate personal problems. Instead they usually approach one of the team and have to be encouraged to come and see me about it.
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Re: Are people scared of you?

Postby justonemoreperson » Sat Nov 16, 2019 7:13 am

I think a lot of fear comes from things being not what people expect. Fear is one of those words that can conjure up images of people hiding under tables, shaking, but it's a process that governs a huge amount of behaviour in people in every day life, in subtle ways.

Greebo's example is one I've seen in people before, where someone creates a dichotomy. On the surface they may seem mild, soft spoken and controlled, but other aspects of their personality make people wary, and this creates the fear response.

If there are times when the floodgates open and 'angry Greebo' gets his day in the sun, I can only imagine that this would solidify the image, even if the behaviour only happens once every few years.

It probably has more of an effect than it would for someone who's constantly angry, as this becomes the norm for people. If people expect it, then it's no longer a surprise as their in-built fear response becomes conditioned to it.
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