EllaBlack wrote:It all comes down to empathy and whether you have it or not.
I knew where you were going with the topic
It's just that people often think or pretend they feel empathy when they don't - and people see others indulging in sentimentalism and emotional appeal and sigh, thinking to themselves, "s/he has too big of a heart - it gets the poor thing into trouble."
Sarandipity wrote:DaturaInnoxia wrote:Again, why I like Eric Berne's "Transactional Analysis" and "Games" concepts. A perspective that is not allowed in today's extremist feminist politically correct culture
Why is transactional analysis anti feminist or against political correctness? It's about ego states. I didn't know people held umbridge with this.
^
It's more than the ego states.
^
Many psychologists and pyschotherapists still like the concept of Parent : Adult : Child Ego States.
I like them on a superficial level rather than going to the depth of adapting Freud's Id : Ego : Super Ego like he was aiming for.
Many of the 'Games' (aka 'Social Intercourse') that he describes along with the 'Social Strokes' that make up transactional analysis (TA) imply that everything they do has a pay off that they (occasionally inadvertedly) seek.
To suggest, as I did, that a codependent actually gets something out of, and perpetuates, being taken advantage of or harmed would be a 'Transaction' involving 'Social Strokes' - both terms are (or used to be) a huge component of Berne's TA.
It means that all parties participate rather than it happening to them: unassumingly and unsuspecting.
*** He has one 'Game' that can be paraphrased to the tune of:
- She pushes him away and gets angry, saying "That's all you want from me!"
- After a few scornful rejections, he gives up and stops asking for sex.
- She starts being more and more of a tease (me using that term in itself, is no longer politically correct and victim blaming thus antifeminist)
- Sexual tension builds up
- He is hopeful and assumes that it's an invitation
- She rejects him again outraged, "See?! That's all you ever want from me! You don't love me!"
- sometimes in ends in her being sexually assaulted (and then sometimes, out of guilt and shame, he buys her something pretty and expensive).
- and so the 'Game' continues.
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That being said, I don't think all of Berne's 'games' are on the mark.
I see them more as generalized stencils.
I also think it's rare that people who don't end up victimized repetitively in the same way are playing 'Games' nor do I necessarily think they're getting much of a pay off.
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Regardless, today's Politically Correct = Pro-Feminist
Victim Blaming = Anti-feminist
Accepting Responsibility or Looking at Your Part in Things:
= Victim Blaming
= Antifeminist
= Not Politically Correct