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What's all the fuss about?

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Re: What's all the fuss about?

Postby justonemoreperson » Wed Oct 23, 2019 8:57 pm

Things are getting very complicated around xdude's meltdown.

i thought what happened was: he/she/whatever has BPD, is currently going through a manic spaz-out, people took issue with his comments, pushed some buttons for the hell of it and now it's done.

Sarandipidy: Your use of language is odd, and if you don't see that then you probably need to look a little harder.

I've tried to understand what you're talking about but much of it goes around in circles. If "Paul" now recognises his anger-shame etc and the rest of you is pretty mild, what do you hope to get here?

It's not an invitation to leave, simply that I don't know what you think can now help, seeing as Paul's now sitting in the corner, hugging his knees and rocking.

You mentioned in a post yesterday that you're in a sh1t-or-bust situation, that you can't go back and have to push forward, now that stuff has been talked about and yet you seem well-put together and fascinated by the mundane in your comments.
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Re: What's all the fuss about?

Postby saucygirl31 » Wed Oct 23, 2019 9:02 pm

mhm.

his meltdown was fascinating.
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Re: What's all the fuss about?

Postby Sarandipity » Wed Oct 23, 2019 10:22 pm

Fool wrote:
Sarandipity wrote:
I don't see using the word fear as passive agressive. I don't see fear as an insukt. Weakness also is not insulting. Fear and weaknesses are universal regardless of brain function. To deny either is a blinding weakness in it's self.


words are words

however,

-To react the way this forum reacted reaks of fear. The attacks, the getting a new mod - pure fear, all whilst saying "we don't care"-

the implication that mr donut is in denial about something you insist is the impetus behind his and many others' behavior, runs contrary to the fact that you are the only person who took direct action against someone that was effectively pushing your buttons, all while insisting he is the one that let's fear dictate his actions simply because he responded to the second thread you've made on the topic


I didn't say he was in denial about anything. I said fear and handful of times and then a handful more. I didn't say denial..I said denying weakness and fear is a weakness in it's self.

This post isn't about Monk. It was about how people got upset over it, that and the enforcement of rules.

Rules are basically guidelines. It's very easy to stay within guidelines but still be an ahole (if that's the aim or the basis of dislike for rules). So I wondered what all the fuss was about. It makes sense that people would react badly if they feel the person in charge of the rules is a threat. It's interesting that the threat comes from the person being similar to the members of the group, understandable but interesting. My hypothesis of general authority fear etc was wrong. I made a conclusion based on responses. It was not in any attempt to demean or to provoke anyone - how people take things is down to them. Although admittedly I did laugh as I wrote fear a few times because obviously I know that can get the back up of certain anti social people - but it was my conclusion. I'm surprised this conversation on fear has continued for so long. I didn't think saying fear a handful of times would cause This much uncomfortableness and of course couldn't grantee or know for certain that anyone would take it so personally or so personally on somebody else's behalf. To provoke would be to say "can't he stand up for himself" but that would be ignorant, there's a variety of possible reasons you are choosing to fight his corner ranging from for your own amusement onwards. I do not say things to provoke. I say them if I'm typing and thinking and drawing a conclusion from what I've read.
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Re: What's all the fuss about?

Postby solemnlysworn » Wed Oct 23, 2019 10:26 pm

You'd do better to ask rather than assume intent and implicit opinion, since intuition for it doesn't seem to flow quite naturally for you, at least in a text-based setting

-- Wed Oct 23, 2019 10:30 pm --

For instance, there seems to have been a great misreading of the room. I'm not sure if one person has actually complained about Monk being banned. It seems quite okay with the forum.

The OP doesn't quite see that the questioning of xdude started some time ago- weeks, even, and then further inspection of that issue lead to a bit of a flailing gesture so to 'make change' in the forum which, interestingly, was never brought up before. Either xdude was harbouring this feeling passively before feeling upset or it is new. He says talks were had before privately so we can conclude it was an ongoing discussion but the banning seemed in response to issues with respect to others questioning an admin's actions and so is it fairly suspect.

Hypocrisy and, like mentioned by others, vested interest are the main issues and quite separate to any one banning of an individual member which, as xdude did point out, was probably on its way and coming anyway for this particular one.
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Re: What's all the fuss about?

Postby Sarandipity » Wed Oct 23, 2019 10:37 pm

justonemoreperson wrote:Things are getting very complicated around xdude's meltdown.

i thought what happened was: he/she/whatever has BPD, is currently going through a manic spaz-out, people took issue with his comments, pushed some buttons for the hell of it and now it's done.

Sarandipidy: Your use of language is odd, and if you don't see that then you probably need to look a little harder.

I've tried to understand what you're talking about but much of it goes around in circles. If "Paul" now recognises his anger-shame etc and the rest of you is pretty mild, what do you hope to get here?

It's not an invitation to leave, simply that I don't know what you think can now help, seeing as Paul's now sitting in the corner, hugging his knees and rocking.

You mentioned in a post yesterday that you're in a sh1t-or-bust situation, that you can't go back and have to push forward, now that stuff has been talked about and yet you seem well-put together and fascinated by the mundane in your comments.


When I read over the pages of argument it looked to me like everyone But xude was melting down. That's what I found interesting. Forum full of people upset over one guy saying a few words because he has power - or something, I wasn't sure. Now you're bringing it up again I'm starting to see how Fool finds it funny.

Paul isn't sitting in a corner rocking. That's how DID has always worked for me she!t happens, sh!t hits the fan and somebody who can deal with everything steps in. Unfortunately that's me right now.

Why I stay. I think they (other internal parts probably the twins) are hanging me out to dry waiting for me to have some kind of revelation or emotional epiphany. It's gonna be a long wait. There's a reason me and Paul are friends.

Yes other parts are a mess. Ranging from "I'm disgusting" to "I want to die" to I dunno what. So they are actually useless right now which is inconvenient because I find most of their life mundane. It don't have all those upset feelings though so I'm stuck. $#%^ did happen to me personally but how I see it, it's the person who did it who's f'd up, it's their problem and why would I feel bad about it. I don't have shame or rage like Paul but I agree those people would be better off dead but at the same time I'm not going to jail for them.

Life is mundane. You gotta get fascinated by it or implosion is a real possibility.
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Re: What's all the fuss about?

Postby saucygirl31 » Wed Oct 23, 2019 10:43 pm

so what specifically was the abuse toward u?
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Re: What's all the fuss about?

Postby Sarandipity » Wed Oct 23, 2019 10:44 pm

solemnlysworn wrote:You'd do better to ask rather than assume intent and implicit opinion, since intuition for it doesn't seem to flow quite naturally for you, at least in a text-based setting

-- Wed Oct 23, 2019 10:30 pm --

For instance, there seems to have been a great misreading of the room. I'm not sure if one person has actually complained about Monk being banned. It seems quite okay with the forum.

The OP doesn't quite see that the questioning of xdude started some time ago- weeks, even, and then further inspection of that issue lead to a bit of a flailing gesture so to 'make change' in the forum which, interestingly, was never brought up before. Either xdude was harbouring this feeling passively before feeling upset or it is new. He says talks were had before privately so we can conclude it was an ongoing discussion but the banning seemed in response to issues with respect to others questioning an admin's actions and so is it fairly suspect.

Hypocrisy and, like mentioned by others, vested interest are the main issues and quite separate to any one banning of an individual member which, as xdude did point out, was probably on its way and coming anyway for this particular one.


I read that people were not complaining about Monk. But they were using it as a platform to attack the banning and a mod. They seemed, as I said in the original post to be coming from some place of fear over their own place on this forum.

But then I guess it's sort of like a playground scrap, the dominant figure leaves and there's a scrap for dominance. Instead of simply allowing the mod to be the authority figure it was a free for all. For place of troll it seems and it seems you're all trying to force me into now lol. So what does the job of troll of the ASPD forum entail? I do not want the job. I do not have that much patience, understanding and care to mock and belittle people to the extent they are missing by the absence of Monk.
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Re: What's all the fuss about?

Postby solemnlysworn » Wed Oct 23, 2019 10:47 pm

No, again, I do think that you're mistaken. Monk was only banned amidst the main conversation. The banning happened afterwards. It's nothing to do with what you're saying.

I'm not sure that you're going to be persuaded from this view. Perhaps you read threads in the order of 'last posted' and so saw everything back-to-front.
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Re: What's all the fuss about?

Postby Fool » Wed Oct 23, 2019 10:52 pm

Sarandipity wrote:
Fool wrote:
Sarandipity wrote:
I don't see using the word fear as passive agressive. I don't see fear as an insukt. Weakness also is not insulting. Fear and weaknesses are universal regardless of brain function. To deny either is a blinding weakness in it's self.


words are words

however,

-To react the way this forum reacted reaks of fear. The attacks, the getting a new mod - pure fear, all whilst saying "we don't care"-

the implication that mr donut is in denial about something you insist is the impetus behind his and many others' behavior, runs contrary to the fact that you are the only person who took direct action against someone that was effectively pushing your buttons, all while insisting he is the one that let's fear dictate his actions simply because he responded to the second thread you've made on the topic


I didn't say he was in denial about anything. I said fear and handful of times and then a handful more. I didn't say denial..I said denying weakness and fear is a weakness in it's self.

This post isn't about Monk. It was about how people got upset over it, that and the enforcement of rules.

Rules are basically guidelines. It's very easy to stay within guidelines but still be an ahole (if that's the aim or the basis of dislike for rules). So I wondered what all the fuss was about. It makes sense that people would react badly if they feel the person in charge of the rules is a threat. It's interesting that the threat comes from the person being similar to the members of the group, understandable but interesting. My hypothesis of general authority fear etc was wrong. I made a conclusion based on responses. It was not in any attempt to demean or to provoke anyone - how people take things is down to them. Although admittedly I did laugh as I wrote fear a few times because obviously I know that can get the back up of certain anti social people - but it was my conclusion. I'm surprised this conversation on fear has continued for so long. I didn't think saying fear a handful of times would cause This much uncomfortableness and of course couldn't grantee or know for certain that anyone would take it so personally or so personally on somebody else's behalf. To provoke would be to say "can't he stand up for himself" but that would be ignorant, there's a variety of possible reasons you are choosing to fight his corner ranging from for your own amusement onwards. I do not say things to provoke. I say them if I'm typing and thinking and drawing a conclusion from what I've read.


i said you implied it...

but let's look on the bright side. i don't feel the need to make a thread it.

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Re: What's all the fuss about?

Postby Sarandipity » Wed Oct 23, 2019 11:04 pm

saucygirl31 wrote:so what specifically was the abuse toward u?


The abuse I remember was being raped on the stairs by my "father" at age 19. It was regularly he would chase me around the house when nobody else was there. Usually I would make it to the toilet and be able to hold the door shut (he "accidentally" broke the lock one morning) by wedging myself between the door and the toilet. That day I didn't make it. Now mostly in memory we made it to the toilet more often than not but I don't know because I can only remember making it to the toilet and that one incident. My sister said when she came home a few times I was screaming and trying to get out of a window which I do not remember but she has no reason to lie. She spent alot more time with my mother which, believe it or not, I believe would of been much worse. My mother burnt her hand with an iron once (and made her tell the hospital she'd done it to herself which is ridiculous because she would of been too small to reach the board and press an iron on her hand, my mother would of had a "reason" for that but I never got it out of my sister what the reason was).

So although "I" think I made it to the toilet more often than not, it could be that "I" didn't. I dunno. But I do know that after the rape on the stairs I threatened him and said I'd use the whole thing as leverage over him but I haven't yet and his current wife is so stupid she doesn't believe he's still having affairs let alone her believe something like that - it's useless leverage but it felt good at the time to say it to him.

I was brought up to both fear and hate the police. "They can arrest you at any moment, you could be breaking a law now and not know. They'll do it just because they like the power trip" and then if seeing police they'd say "make out you're being good" which implies guilt. I was in my mid twenties when I realised I wasn't breaking any laws and the police are far too busy to arrest you for nothing and I'd been arrested so knew they just fed you and let you sleep and would even give you something to read if you're there for days and being civil. So going to the police after the incident didn't occur to me, not an option, "we do not call the police" "as soon as you tell an authority figure anything you are handing control over your life to them" now I don't give a f, I'll call the police if I want to and if I don't I won't. So the only use out of what he did that I could see was to hold it over him. He's a sick weirdo, his problem not mine.
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