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Struggling to find comfort in a structured lifestyle

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Struggling to find comfort in a structured lifestyle

Postby EllaBlack » Sun Oct 20, 2019 3:00 pm

I got sick of the discomfort associated with my unstructured lifestyle, so I decided that it would be worth a shot to try some structure, no matter how hard it was... Well it's really hard. :lol:

Anyone in the same boat?
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Re: Struggling to find comfort in a structured lifestyle

Postby saucygirl31 » Sun Oct 20, 2019 3:08 pm

i realized I need structure once I left home at 18.

im sort of used to it because I didn't grown up in a chaotic environment, but it definitely can get boring, for lack of a better word.

sometimes I feel more in control when "out of control", if u feel me.
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Re: Struggling to find comfort in a structured lifestyle

Postby EllaBlack » Sun Oct 20, 2019 3:10 pm

saucygirl31 wrote:sometimes I feel more in control when "out of control", if u feel me.

Does "more comfortable" resonate? If not then I'm not sure what you mean because it's an oxymoron.
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Re: Struggling to find comfort in a structured lifestyle

Postby saucygirl31 » Sun Oct 20, 2019 3:17 pm

no, not comfortable. just in control because when ppl think I'm out of control and not structured I'm calling the shots. structure is largely implimented by societal standards, ime.
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Re: Struggling to find comfort in a structured lifestyle

Postby EllaBlack » Sun Oct 20, 2019 3:24 pm

saucygirl31 wrote:no, not comfortable. just in control because when ppl think I'm out of control and not structured I'm calling the shots. structure is largely implimented by societal standards, ime.

When I say structure, I'm personally referring to things like proper hygiene (not that proper hygiene in particular has ever really been an issue for me), healthy eating habits and a consistent sleep cycle (among other things.) There's evidence that these things can help improve mental health, so I'm giving it a shot because I haven't had a structured lifestyle in two of those areas since I was a kid.

Proper self-care in general is what I'm hoping I choose to stick to, basically.
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Re: Struggling to find comfort in a structured lifestyle

Postby saucygirl31 » Sun Oct 20, 2019 3:29 pm

even that stuff. when I eat what I want I feel more in control then when ratting things deemed "good for u".
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Re: Struggling to find comfort in a structured lifestyle

Postby EllaBlack » Sun Oct 20, 2019 3:32 pm

saucygirl31 wrote:even that stuff. when I eat what I want I feel more in control then when ratting things deemed "good for u".

Well I eat healthy but I eat whenever I want. :lol:

It's better to stick to a more or less consistent schedule with food, health wise. Not too rigidly, but find the balance is what I'm hoping to do.
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Re: Struggling to find comfort in a structured lifestyle

Postby salles » Sun Oct 20, 2019 3:36 pm

EllaBlack wrote:
saucygirl31 wrote:no, not comfortable. just in control because when ppl think I'm out of control and not structured I'm calling the shots. structure is largely implimented by societal standards, ime.

When I say structure, I'm personally referring to things like proper hygiene (not that proper hygiene in particular has ever really been an issue for me), healthy eating habits and a consistent sleep cycle (among other things.) There's evidence that these things can help improve mental health, so I'm giving it a shot because I haven't had a structured lifestyle in two of those areas since I was a kid.

Proper self-care in general is what I'm hoping I choose to stick to, basically.


Healthy eating habits is a tough one for me, not regarding quality of food, but the lack of importance I attach to eating at all.
Sometimes I forget to eat.
And sometimes I forget I have eaten.
I was recently reading about attachment styles and how it manifests in people's relationship to food.
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Re: Struggling to find comfort in a structured lifestyle

Postby Reaper » Sun Oct 20, 2019 5:02 pm

EllaBlack wrote:I got sick of the discomfort associated with my unstructured lifestyle, so I decided that it would be worth a shot to try some structure, no matter how hard it was... Well it's really hard. :lol:

Anyone in the same boat?


Yeah, my daughter (when she was living with me) would always complain to me that we never had a routine, that there was no structure in our lives. I hate routine and having to live by a schedule because it creates boundaries and restrictions. I like being able to do what I want when I want, but it's not a healthy lifestyle.

I'm very disorganized in general, so I probably need structure in my life for that reason alone, if nothing else. I find chaos comforting though. I like the uncertainty it brings, but it's not very helpful for trying to achieve anything long-term.
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Re: Struggling to find comfort in a structured lifestyle

Postby Oblivion » Sun Oct 20, 2019 6:05 pm

salles wrote:I was recently reading about attachment styles and how it manifests in people's relationship to food.


Can you provide any links?
Kids need to know they suck.
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