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How Are You with Understanding Implicit Rules / Norms?

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How Are You with Understanding Implicit Rules / Norms?

Postby DaturaInnoxia » Wed Oct 16, 2019 4:16 am

▪How are you with understanding/knowing implicit norms?

▪Even if you don't care about them, do you still have awareness of them?

Definition:
"Implicit norms are the "unwritten," and generally understood and agreed upon, rules that play a significant role in the lives of group members. These rules are informal and not official rules but most people adhere to them naturally."

Example:
"the implicit norms that have come to exist surrounding the use of ATMs; staying well behind the person using the ATM or even remaining in your car until the person currently using it is finished, not looking at the screen when they enter their information, etc. No one has ever set these rules down in writing, they are just understood. Another example of an implicit norm is standing facing forward in a crowded elevator of strangers. Although there is no written rule stating that you should face forward in an elevator it would be rare to see someone facing backwards!"
https://www.alleydog.com/glossary/defin ... icit+Norms
Last edited by DaturaInnoxia on Wed Oct 16, 2019 4:29 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: How are you with Understanding Implicit Rules / Norms?

Postby Squaredonutwheels » Wed Oct 16, 2019 4:26 am

Yes. I am aware of implicit rules and can pick up contextual norms and cues pretty quickly and instinctively.

It's just that sometimes I overestimate what I can get away with.

That and sometimes I enjoy putting pressure on people to satisfy my own need of curiosity and conflict at the cost of bending or breaking norms.
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Re: How are you with Understanding Implicit Rules / Norms?

Postby ShaolinMonk » Wed Oct 16, 2019 4:28 am

No fks given for 'implicit' constantly changing "rules" pulled out of thin air on the whim of some narc's injury.

Attention Please. You are entering the [b] ASPD forum . Please read this carefully.[/b]

Given the unique propensities of those who are faced with the issues of ASPD, topics at times may be uncomfortable for non ASPD readers. Discussions related to violent urges are permitted here, within the context of deeper understanding of the commonalties shared by members. Indulging these urges is not what regular users here are attempting to do.

Conversations here can be triggering for those who have suffered abuse or violent encounters. Respectful questioning is welcome from non ASPD members.

For those who have no respect for either this illness or for those who are living with it, please do not enter this forum. Discrimination of Personality Disorders is not tolerated on this site.

Moderators are present here to ensure that members treat each other with dignity and respect. If topics become overly graphic or drift from having a healthy perspective, moderators will intervene.
Please feel free to contact a moderator if you have any questions or concerns.

Same rules. Real easy.
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Re: How are you with Understanding Implicit Rules / Norms?

Postby DaturaInnoxia » Wed Oct 16, 2019 4:32 am

Squaredonutwheels wrote:Yes. I am aware of implicit rules and can pick up contextual norms and cues pretty quickly and instinctively.

It's just that sometimes I overestimate what I can get away with.

That and sometimes I enjoy putting pressure on people to satisfy my own need of curiosity and conflict at the cost of bending or breaking norms.


Interesting.
I tend not to understand a lot of them.

ShaolinMonk wrote:No fks given for 'implicit' constantly changing "rules" pulled out of thin air on the whim of some narc's injury.

Attention Please. You are entering the [b] ASPD forum . Please read this carefully.[/b]

Given the unique propensities of those who are faced with the issues of ASPD, topics at times may be uncomfortable for non ASPD readers. Discussions related to violent urges are permitted here, within the context of deeper understanding of the commonalties shared by members. Indulging these urges is not what regular users here are attempting to do.

Conversations here can be triggering for those who have suffered abuse or violent encounters. Respectful questioning is welcome from non ASPD members.

For those who have no respect for either this illness or for those who are living with it, please do not enter this forum. Discrimination of Personality Disorders is not tolerated on this site.

Moderators are present here to ensure that members treat each other with dignity and respect. If topics become overly graphic or drift from having a healthy perspective, moderators will intervene.
Please feel free to contact a moderator if you have any questions or concerns.

Same rules. Real easy.


I don't want to be rude and not engage, but at the same time, I don't know how to handle you.
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Re: How Are You with Understanding Implicit Rules / Norms?

Postby ShaolinMonk » Wed Oct 16, 2019 4:34 am

Don't even try.
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Re: How are you with Understanding Implicit Rules / Norms?

Postby Squaredonutwheels » Wed Oct 16, 2019 5:07 am

DaturaInnoxia wrote:Interesting.
I tend not to understand a lot of them.

I don't want to be rude and not engage, but at the same time, I don't know how to handle you.
[/quote]

I don't think he wants to be handled. He wants to be heard and understood but his way of getting his needs met is.. well.. the way it is.. because it's probably the only way he knows because it's probably how he was treated. With scorn and mockery.

It's just that mistaking a place - for wonky people with a variety of backgrounds whose only commonality is behavioral issues - as a crib to be heard and validated and agreed with 100% is not being able to read the room, then claiming not to care that he can't read the room. Then saying things like "grow up" is projecting that childlike need outwards.

If anything he belongs here because he probably needs this place more than any other poster but has to realize that this isn't an right wing anti incel echo chamber and that he has to take turns being the center of attention.

Again, reading the room.
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Re: How Are You with Understanding Implicit Rules / Norms?

Postby ShaolinMonk » Wed Oct 16, 2019 5:13 am

Yeah, you talking about yourself. Drumming up "support" because you are chicken sh!t scared to touch any topic that doesn't validate your whack between the legs and balls up arse emotional constipation.
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Re: How Are You with Understanding Implicit Rules / Norms?

Postby Reaper » Wed Oct 16, 2019 5:55 am

I have no problem understanding social cues and the unspoken rules of society, and I accept that they exist for a reason - so that we can all co-exist more peacefully in a social environment, but I believe they also turn people into sheep, where there's an expectation to follow the rest of the flock. You especially see it in the education system where children are all being taught the same thing, regardless of their individual strengths and weaknesses. That's why teachers aren't valued as much as they should be, because the way the system is they're really no different than factory workers churning out human clones.

I follow social norms when necessary, for appearance's sake, but behind closed doors they mean nothing to me. I've broken many of society's written and unspoken rules multiple times in various ways, primarily through illegal activity.

Social norms are designed to benefit society. I don't care to benefit society. I don't owe society a goddamn thing. Oh sure, society helps me survive, but that's only because I'm taking advantage of it, and why not, I have to survive somehow.
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Re: How Are You with Understanding Implicit Rules / Norms?

Postby justonemoreperson » Wed Oct 16, 2019 6:04 am

Mostly I'm ok with things like ATM lines etc. but when things get a bit less defined then I can cross some thresholds.

That said, if I'm frustrated, all bets are off and I'll just bulldoze my way through anything to get what I want. I did get wheeled off by airport security once in Dubai because there was a long line and I didn't want to wait and walked to the front. Turned out that they just wanted to keep the peace and led me through the crew line. In the US, I sometimes tell the TSA I'm with NATO and they let me through first.

Otherwise:

Walking away from people I don't find interesting, talking over people, being too aggressive for a situation, disproportionate responses.

Mostly, I think it's down to me just doing what I want when I want to and not considering what others are doing around me.
I'm not arguing; I'm explaining why I'm right.
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Re: How are you with Understanding Implicit Rules / Norms?

Postby ShaolinMonk » Wed Oct 16, 2019 6:09 am

Squaredonutwheels wrote:... reading the room.

You don't say ?

Often times, it's more interesting to read the room drop dead silent.
Says more than all the noise.
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