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take me to church. not.

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take me to church. not.

Postby saucygirl31 » Tue Aug 13, 2019 5:43 pm

when my parents used to makes us go to church in middle school we'd scream, "NO CHURCH MOM!"

then in high school they let us choose if we wanted to go.

i never went i think it sucks major ass and im not religious in the slightest. are u?

anyone have any funny church stories? mine is that i went on a mission trip with my church and some cuties which is why i went and got someone to go down on me in the "jesus van" as we called it. we smoked mad weed before playing with the kids and helping build houses and sht. one time i beat my gay friend with a bible while he was sleeping on the mission trip and screamed "GOD HATES GAYS!"

lol hbu.
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Re: take me to church. not.

Postby Oblivion » Tue Aug 13, 2019 6:39 pm

Oh Saucy. Don't you know that God is gay? Once when I was on my knees praying for my parent's death, he appeared before me, opened his robe and showed me his dick. His balls were huge and his pubes were aflame. I figured if I wanted my prayers answered I'd have to go down on him. Right before he came, I stuck my finger up his ass. He said it was the best ever. That's why gay people are so faaaaabulous.

He never answered my prayers, though, so fuk him. :evil:
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Re: take me to church. not.

Postby saucygirl31 » Tue Aug 13, 2019 8:40 pm

damn dude im sorry.

so are u religious or not.
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Re: take me to church. not.

Postby Oblivion » Tue Aug 13, 2019 9:02 pm

I was before that.

Fuking con artist.

No, just kidding. I was never religious. My mother was, I guess. She dragged me to church as a little kid but when she stopped going, so did I.

Sorry to say I never defiled a church function or anything, but for a while I used to meet my weed dealer in a church parking lot.

btw when I blew God I was five.
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Re: take me to church. not.

Postby ZeroZ » Tue Aug 13, 2019 9:51 pm

Don’t know, I’ve experienced too many weird things in my life, it’s possible I’m a click or two higher than average on the schizophrenia spectrum, I guess, but I don’t think so. I’ve also had the belief that demons or negative energies attach themselves to people suffering from things like substance abuse etc. I tend to be religious in a sense of I believe there is more to the universe than can be explained by our limited understanding of science. I do not care for or like organized religion, it’s much like modern politics, it’s a way to divide and control populations.
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Re: take me to church. not.

Postby justonemoreperson » Wed Aug 14, 2019 5:20 am

My parents tried church when I was about 12 and they became very involved with it.

Church was great and I loved it. I liked the architecture of the old church and the people were friendly and non-judgemental, which meant that they had a less suspicious view of me allowing me to help out around the building and with other stuff that needed assistance.

This gave me access to parts that others didn't get into, so I was able to supplement my weekends with additional cash from the collection, bottles of communion wine that was ordered by the crate and kept in a cupboard and masturbate into the chalices they used to give the faithful their wine.

They should have thanked me; they expected it to be the blood of Jebus, at least they were now swallowing human DNA.
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Re: take me to church. not.

Postby Trivago » Wed Aug 14, 2019 5:26 am

Enjoyed church, and in high school I was in the choir. As the choir was let out first to hit the cafeteria. Other than that, I'd always wondered at the beauty and the expense that went into maintaining the church and the lovely gardens. Seemed rather silly that that the church was constantly demanding donations and then even keeping numbered records of who donated what, while none of the bounty ever went back to the parish.

Self righteous slob of a female preacher no less. Whined during her sermons. Irritating creature. The protestants really did manage to lower the quality of the message, but didn't stop their cash grab.
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Re: take me to church. not.

Postby justonemoreperson » Wed Aug 14, 2019 5:32 am

You can buy old churches from the Church of England to use for residential housing. Some of them come with listed status, meaning you have limited ability to change the look and some come with pre-loaded graveyards.

They're surprisingly cheap. I regularly check to see what's available:

https://www.churchofengland.org/more/pa ... e-disposal
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Re: take me to church. not.

Postby Trivago » Wed Aug 14, 2019 5:41 am

Preloaded grave yards? That is thoughtful and adds to the ambiance.

The building is in poor structural condition due to a fundamental flaw in the use of Polyphant stone as an external structural material and requires substantial expenditure to rectify. The building is located in an area where a number of alternative uses are likely to be acceptable.


The address is really the best; Lillicrap Chilcott, Landrian House, 59-60 Lemon Street, TRURO, TR1 2PE


Restoration work on that would add up quite rapidly to keep the original look while getting it updated in such a manner as to not take away from the original beauty of the building.

No known burials associated with that building, but then that would require newer additions to the wealth of the earth or a careful and extensive excavation to authenticate the claim.
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Re: take me to church. not.

Postby justonemoreperson » Wed Aug 14, 2019 6:15 am

Trivago wrote:
The address is really the best; Lillicrap Chilcott, Landrian House, 59-60 Lemon Street,


Yeah, with a name like that you either hide it or embrace it. I found my inner 12-year-old came out when I worked in a building with a lift, manufactured by 'Porn and Dunwoody'.
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