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Bad experience with therapist

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Bad experience with therapist

Postby creepydork » Mon Jul 29, 2019 10:05 pm

I used to think that all therapists were supportive and encouraging, open to hearing their clients thoughts about this and that. Whether those thoughts are good or troubling, the client still has a right to express these thoughts to their therapist. But apparently if the thoughts are too disturbing or unpleasant for the therapist to hear, the client should shove them down their throat and seal them up with duck tape. I know many therapists dont have experience treating people with PD's but holy $#%^ you tell them A or B and they suddenly change their entire approach towards you. I've become convinced that people with personality disorders or that have strong, obvious character flaws shouldn't go to therapy if they are low functioning and unpleasant. Anyway, have you ever had a really negative experience with a therapist that left you feeling like you should seek elsewhere for help? Or not seek any help at all? I hate the idea that I only have myself to rely on for this.
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Re: Bad experience with therapist

Postby solemnlysworn » Mon Jul 29, 2019 10:22 pm

I had an initial discussion with a psych nurse where we just discussed general lifestyle factors: Work, relationships, and a battery of 'are you at risk of harming ... [yoursel, elderly people, children]' which was all responded to appropriately. She referred me to a CBT therapist.

Got there and answered some of the same questions. She was very friendly, a little disorganised, but open and receptive. I think the referral was probably suspected to be depression-related. They had a look through some of my history while talking, as if she had only seen it for the first time while it was on her lap, and we discussed affect and how I feel day-in-day-out. Started to drill through whether there was anxiety, self-esteem issues or things of that nature.

Once we got to realising lack of emotional connection and talking about things that had happened in the past she clammed up, got cold, and the tone shifted. I wouldn't say she was uncomfortable but I can remember the instant when explaining to her question what had happened on a previous occasion that she looked down at her notes and didn't really take her eyes off it for the rest of the meeting. She eased her way into it but eventually explained that she doesn't 'deal with this kind of thing'. I asked what she meant and after consideration said that she would feel more comfortable referring me to somebody else.

After that she did the admin work probably required to close off a session (risk assessment stuff) and we finished rather abruptly then I didn't hear from her again. I got back in touch with the main office because this was after I'd done something where therapy was mandatory but they explained it wasn't necessary anymore.

I don't know what the reasoning was but I suppose they didn't like my attitude towards other people and my explanation of little attachment. Presumably they would have referred me to somebody who deals in PDs but for whatever reason I was dropped entirely.

Some of the therapists only want to work with people they assess not to be a threat to the therapist who is just doing their day job and they also don't want to work with people who they see as not really wanting or able to be helped.

-- Mon Jul 29, 2019 10:29 pm --

The previous one was an example of something similar to yours. More directly answering the question, I remember as a kid a family therapist overtly blaming me for the familial issues and in every circumstance where there was a dispute drawing on my behaviours and actions.

I didn't particularly appreciate that as a kid. It's hard to get them out of the stigmatising role. Otherwise, it also made Homelife more difficult where instead of before where people looked at themselves, the instinct was to blame me and excuse their own behaviours.
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Re: Bad experience with therapist

Postby Oblivion » Mon Jul 29, 2019 10:36 pm

Most therapists (with exceptions, like those who work with the courts) are used to seeing depressed housewives and that sort of thing.

Find a new one. Brief her/him on what you think your issues are beforehand. Give them a chance to say no beforehand so you don't waste your time talking to them.

My therapists never seem to know what the ###$ I'm going on about half the time.
Function is the key.
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Re: Bad experience with therapist

Postby saucygirl31 » Mon Jul 29, 2019 10:41 pm

when I was younger, before my urges were my main problem, several therapists just got the the point where they said "i feel like im not helping", and i ended up leaving cuz i agree.

in the years later, when i did start talking about my urges, they referred me to a sexual deviance forensic unit that was lead by a well known author of books on sexual deviance and psychopathy.

i never went because the assessments would have had to be out of pocket.

now, in mandatory therapy, i am fairly open and honest. she doesn't give a fuk and neither do i so were pretty blunt with each other. a weird rapport we have, with sexual undertones meshed with strong resentment toward each other.
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Re: Bad experience with therapist

Postby solemnlysworn » Mon Jul 29, 2019 10:42 pm

Oblivion wrote:My therapists never seem to know what the ###$ I'm going on about half the time.

Makes three of us
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Re: Bad experience with therapist

Postby Reaper » Mon Jul 29, 2019 11:58 pm

creepydork wrote:Anyway, have you ever had a really negative experience with a therapist that left you feeling like you should seek elsewhere for help? Or not seek any help at all?


Yeah, last psychologist I saw. She decided that therapy wasn't working and didn't know how to deal with me or some shlt like that (I can't remember exactly what she said to me). She told me I should see someone else, so she ended therapy abruptly after only three sessions.

That pissed me off a little bit. I haven't bothered going back to therapy with anyone since. Therapy is fuking useless as far as I'm concerned and I've seen enough fuking therapists over the years to know. It's never done anything for me.
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Re: Bad experience with therapist

Postby ZeroZ » Tue Jul 30, 2019 12:43 am

Just got back from therapy, she challenged me on several things which I am trying to be open about, but when faced with my issues I go into denial and bob and weave like Mohammad Ali!! It’s ALWAYS the things you DON’T want to talk about.
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Re: Bad experience with therapist

Postby cinnamoncookie » Tue Jul 30, 2019 1:23 am

What makes a therapist successful in their career is helping people solve their problems. Most people's problems aren't too complicated for anyone with a degree in psychology to help them solve and most people who go to one voluntarily either want the help and get better and/or are satisfied without the therapist having to distance themselves from their own personality too much. They're not usually used to it because they can afford it.

Something I've been hearing from therapists throughout my life, in the context of them being useless, clueless or making a mistake, is "we're just people too". As frustrating as it is (and to me personally as unbelievably convenient of an excuse it seems sometimes) this is the truth. Most people aren't/don't feel they need to be/don't want to be equipped with the mental and emotional resistance to stay focused and rational communicating and dealing with someone with a deviant (read as uncomfortable) thinking and behavioral style and that includes therapists. Just because they know how to communicate this in a more professional way doesn't mean they can't be just as incompetent, entitled, arrogant ("the way you see/deal with X is wrong because I don't like it") etc. as anyone else. Some are more helpful, understanding and accepting than others.
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Re: Bad experience with therapist

Postby solemnlysworn » Tue Jul 30, 2019 1:45 am

Good post
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Re: Bad experience with therapist

Postby Number23 » Tue Jul 30, 2019 4:05 am

I went to see a university professor of psychology to take projective tests. After the test results were given she said I could come see her one more time free of charge if I wanted more details about the results. Two years and a half later I leave her two voice mails to arrange our meeting and it's been more than four months and she hasn't called back yet. It goes without saying that her silence is leaving me with a very poor impression, especially for a highly professional psychologist like herself.
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