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Seeing the bad, Seeing the good

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Seeing the bad, Seeing the good

Postby Manners73 » Thu Jul 11, 2019 6:02 pm

So this is what I'm thinking...

I'm quite neutral where most people are concerned. People don't bother me too much to be honest.

But then sometimes in my life there are people who everyone sees the bad in and I have to go completely against the grain and see the good and then there's the people who everyone sees the good in and I have to go right against it and see the bad.

For the ones who I see the bad in I see it quite instantly as well and I even have derogatory names for them. I can't help myself.

I've seen a lot on this forum that people do make snap judgements so I'm wondering if other people also do this?
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Re: Seeing the bad, Seeing the good

Postby saucygirl31 » Thu Jul 11, 2019 6:32 pm

everyone has the potential to be a saint or a serial killer under the right situation.
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Re: Seeing the bad, Seeing the good

Postby Manners73 » Thu Jul 11, 2019 6:40 pm

I'm too lazy to be a serial killer and too tarnished to be a saint.
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Re: Seeing the bad, Seeing the good

Postby ZeroZ » Thu Jul 11, 2019 7:24 pm

Some things can be reflections of your own demeanor too. If you come across as a grump people will treat you differently than if you seem open and engaging. I go through both phases and notice a stark difference in how people respond.

Other than that I’ve made snap judgements like my first serious relationship, the whole family was disordered. The sister tells me when we first met that she is a famous painter from France and she is rich, and blah blah blah. It’s like bitch, I’m dating your fuking sister I know all about you, you didn’t finish high school, never been out of the state let alone country and you couldn’t paint a bathroom wall. That was a pretty easy one, talk about a narc for fuk sakes
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Re: Seeing the bad, Seeing the good

Postby Manners73 » Thu Jul 11, 2019 7:29 pm

Yeah it's like when I'm picking out all the bad bits of a person I feel like as if I'm looking in a mirror and seeing a reflection of myself that I wouldn't see if I wasn't looking at that person.

I don't feel the same way when I'm finding the good points in people though.
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Re: Seeing the bad, Seeing the good

Postby ZeroZ » Thu Jul 11, 2019 8:14 pm

Yeah, projection I suppose. I was never aware I was doing that, sort of like I really hated certain things and behaviors I saw in other people it was sort of just a natural process for me, I do it towards my brother the most. It was brought to my attention from an ex, told me I do the same things. I broke up with her for that, one of many times we broke up, it’s been a long painful process to get where I am and I don’t know if I’m any better off.

I suppose It would be a difficult process facing your own perception for anyone, particularly for someone who relies on the distortion as a sort of childish defensive mechanism
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Re: Seeing the bad, Seeing the good

Postby Manners73 » Thu Jul 11, 2019 8:29 pm

I wonder why I like to see the bad in the people who everyone sees as being good though?

It must be some deep ingrained, twisted bitterness I've got going on.
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Re: Seeing the bad, Seeing the good

Postby ZeroZ » Thu Jul 11, 2019 8:50 pm

Manners73 wrote:I wonder why I like to see the bad in the people who everyone sees as being good though?

It must be some deep ingrained, twisted bitterness I've got going on.


I’m not sure, we’re you ever manipulated by someone you trusted? Thought was nice?
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Re: Seeing the bad, Seeing the good

Postby saucygirl31 » Thu Jul 11, 2019 9:40 pm

step into dr saucys office

it's because u don't think ppl have one inherent nature and proving this is true gets you off, hard, because u don't like ppl who r too nice or too evil u know it's fake

gunna hafta close this thread.
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Re: Seeing the bad, Seeing the good

Postby Manners73 » Fri Jul 12, 2019 5:18 am

Thanks for your help.
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