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Are you social or are you isolated

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Are you social or are you isolated

Postby ZeroZ » Wed Jun 12, 2019 11:22 pm

Do you enjoy socializing, if so what types of activities do you enjoy and what does it do for you?

On the flip side if you aren’t very social and prefer to do things by yourself what sort of activities do you like?
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Re: Are you social or are you isolated

Postby Reaper » Thu Jun 13, 2019 5:11 am

I'm both social and non-social. I go through phases.

In my social phase I'll look for opportunities to socialize with others as much as possible, preferably in group situations because one-on-one conversations tend to bore me. In my non-social phase I slip back into the shadows again and just do my own thing for awhile.

I can never predict how long these phases are going to last because they're unpredictable. They could last from a few days to a few months.

When I'm in a social phase I like to go out and be around people. When I was younger I used to go out to nightclubs on the weekends, the occasional house party and several camping parties with people I knew, but I never really felt part of the group. I always felt like an outsider. It was a bit isolating in a way because I couldn't connect with anyone. Even though I was surrounded by others I still felt very much alone. I think that's partly why I got into a lot of fights. Well, that and the fact that I can become more physically aggressive when drunk. Nowadays I do most of my socializing online. Mind you, I still get into a lot of fights, but they're usually just verbal ones these days.

In my non-social phase I tend to spend a little more time offline doing things in the real world, but I still spend a lot of time online, either playing single-player computer games, watching movies, shows or youtube videos, or just looking up shlt on the net that I'm interested in. I have a very inactive lifestyle at the moment, yet I have so much energy to burn. It frustrates me.

What I really want to do is spend more time off the net and join a few clubs - particularly a social riding club for motorcycle enthusiasts. I'd also like to join a dance club for swing, electro-swing and jazz. I really like the music and old style dancing. Like this:



and this:

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Re: Are you social or are you isolated

Postby Squaredonutwheels » Thu Jun 13, 2019 8:50 am

My disposition is novelty seeking, curious and lacking in inhibitions so I accidentally find myself in social situations all the time despite the primary focus being the activity not the social interaction.

Not particularly fond of socializing for the sake of it though because a lot of the time what people say isn't quite interesting enough to not play games with them. It's hard to resist one upping someone who clearly needs to feel like they are the cleverest or strongest, just to see how far they'll go. Silly stuff like that to entertain myself at an others expense means I have to keep my social groups separated. Plus I'm not completely devoid of all empathy so when I see how much people are suffering in their own need to be perfect and unable to accept themselves as they are it does make me sad. If they insist I view them as perfect or whatever my sadness turns to indifference pretty quickly though but that is to protect my own emotional investment in them not because I can't care.

I actively avoid doing out right manipulative interactions because at the core of it, I am lonely and I genuinely do like most people despite the layers and layers they coat themselves in. People are beautiful beneath the falsity the make themselves. So is this world and so is doing novel new things and playing with new toys.

My favorite activity is probably various forms of archery atm.
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Re: Are you social or are you isolated

Postby ZeroZ » Thu Jun 13, 2019 11:29 am

@SDW I appreciate the open and honest response. I can resonate with a lot of that.

@Reaper have you ever explored what causes the shifts from social to asocial behaviors? That would be a great topic for therapy, there has to be a reason behind that.
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Re: Are you social or are you isolated

Postby justonemoreperson » Thu Jun 13, 2019 12:23 pm

I don't mind social situations; with the right company they can be entertaining. I can't do it for long periods of time though, as it's hard to always be "on."

I'm travelling for work at the moment, and it involves a lot of social evenings. At first they're fine, but after a few days I start to feel like a caged animal and start looking for excuses to do other stuff.

Frustrated that I've recently bought a new motorbike and haven't had much chance to use it yet as I'm too f*cking busy. That doesn't help with the socialising, as I feel I'm wasting my time.
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Re: Are you social or are you isolated

Postby Reaper » Thu Jun 13, 2019 12:58 pm

ZeroZ wrote:@Reaper have you ever explored what causes the shifts from social to asocial behaviors? That would be a great topic for therapy, there has to be a reason behind that.


I don't know what causes it. I assume it's just related to boredom.

I get so bored with everything and everyone to the point where I would rather do things on my own for awhile, then when I'm completely bored of that, I go back to socializing. The problem is that nothing really stimulates me for long, so I end up just tolerating things for awhile until I've had enough and that's when I go either way - become more social if I'm not currently, or less social if I am currently.
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Re: Are you social or are you isolated

Postby ZeroZ » Thu Jun 13, 2019 1:05 pm

The dancing classes sound like they could be fun
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Re: Are you social or are you isolated

Postby Reaper » Thu Jun 13, 2019 1:14 pm

ZeroZ wrote:The dancing classes sound like they could be fun


Yeah.

I don't normally dance at all (not even when I'm alone), but occasionally I get inspired to learn, so a dancing club might prove to be an interesting challenge.

Come to think of it, I also wouldn't mind learning Latin dance - the sexy kind of dancing.
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Re: Are you social or are you isolated

Postby Bellicose » Thu Jun 13, 2019 1:47 pm

I'm always with people. And when I am not, I am on my phone talking to people.

Last year was a bit more of a socially isolated year for me. Currently back to where I was.

Being around people energises me. Especially when I am rushing.
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Re: Are you social or are you isolated

Postby ZeroZ » Thu Jun 13, 2019 1:48 pm

My neighbors were Dominican and they used to drag me over there and try to teach me how to dance, It’s harder than it looks lots of little nuances. It is fun though, especially with a bunch of drunk latinas that are getting a kick out of the big white guy frankenstein his way around the place

It’s too bad they moved they were fun, always fed me Spanish food and had nice rum and beers
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