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Do you have regrets?

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Do you have regrets?

Postby Squaredonutwheels » Thu Apr 11, 2019 11:23 am

The post on the other thread has me thinking about this and it has triggered a feeling of lack, frustration and sadness.

I'm not exactly sure how remorse is tied into this as well.

Do you have regrets?
Are you remorseful about anything?


I'm going to have to sleep on this one, because I generally don't THINK I do anything that wrong. That's because I stick to my moral code, which just happens to be different and I'm usually quite convinced of that. There surely must times were I THOUGHT I was RIGHT, but I wished that I picked something else over being right because of how it FELT. This must be remorse?

Is regret choosing how one felt but wishing that they picked what they thought was right? So it's different to remorse because one is thinking and the other feeling?

I'll come up with a personal example when it pops up. Turns out it's not the easiest task because of an inclination to post rationalize away any confusion to maintain the delusion.
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Re: Do you have regrets?

Postby Manners73 » Thu Apr 11, 2019 6:42 pm

I only really regret the things I've done if I've done them under the influence of drugs or alcohol.
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Re: Do you have regrets?

Postby justonemoreperson » Fri Apr 12, 2019 7:04 am

Manners73 wrote:I only really regret the things I've done if I've done them under the influence of drugs or alcohol.


Bollocks.

You didn't wake up one morning and decide, "I'm going to wreck my life with drugs and alcohol today!"

Drugs, alcohol and everything else that you don't like about yourself comes from decisions you've made. Bad decisions, you must have made them, and not all when you can pretend to pass the buck by blaming drugs and alcohol.
I'm not arguing; I'm explaining why I'm right.
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Re: Do you have regrets?

Postby justonemoreperson » Fri Apr 12, 2019 7:17 am

I don't really have regrets as such, because I look back and can't really see how I would have made different decisions, given my personality idiosyncrasies. I would like to have made different decisions about some stuff, but back in that position, I'd probably do the same thing again. So, I guess I do regret some stuff, but with an acceptance of futility.

However, I do wonder what sort of person I would have turned out to be had I not been born like this. But you can't pick apart certain things and eradicate them like some psychological tumour, as if they exist in isolation.

If I lose my lack of attention, arrogance, lying, manipulation, violence and all that stuff, do I also lose my adaptability, creativity, charisma and my ability to analyse and reason? They developed out of need. Without that need, would I just be like any other wanker, sat in a cubicle talking about Game of Thrones? No thanks.
I'm not arguing; I'm explaining why I'm right.
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Re: Do you have regrets?

Postby SoloZombie » Fri Apr 12, 2019 10:45 am

justonemoreperson wrote:
Manners73 wrote:I only really regret the things I've done if I've done them under the influence of drugs or alcohol.


Bollocks.

You didn't wake up one morning and decide, "I'm going to wreck my life with drugs and alcohol today!"

Drugs, alcohol and everything else that you don't like about yourself comes from decisions you've made. Bad decisions, you must have made them, and not all when you can pretend to pass the buck by blaming drugs and alcohol.


Interesting, so you’re saying the regret should be the decision to start using drugs in the first place as opposed to the negative fall out from that decision?
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Re: Do you have regrets?

Postby justonemoreperson » Fri Apr 12, 2019 11:50 am

SoloZombie wrote:
Interesting, so you’re saying the regret should be the decision to start using drugs in the first place as opposed to the negative fall out from that decision?


Well, what's the reasonable answer to this question:

"Do you regret starting to take drugs when the result is that your behaviour has consistently had a negative affect on your life when using them?"

If anyone with half a brain says "no" to that, then they're pretty much screwed.
I'm not arguing; I'm explaining why I'm right.
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Re: Do you have regrets?

Postby Greebo » Fri Apr 12, 2019 2:18 pm

To my mind regret is directly related to the ability to accept ones own culpability for a negative outcome.

There are many things I regret although the harsh and draconian nature of my own psyche probably means that I accept culpability and punish myself to a greater degree than is actually healthy. I may also disagree with more commonly accepted definitions of ‘a negative outcome’.

If someone was to deceive me, while I might do something untoward to the deceiver to prevent them pulling the same trick ever again, I would take the majority of the blame upon myself for being stupid enough to fall for it in the first place.

Regret vs remorse is a matter of degrees. Guilt usually means that I harmed someone else without intending to or where I failed to predict the level of harm. If I harm someone intentionally I might regret having let the situation get to a level where such means were necessary.

One of the things I regret most is driving myself at the continual expense of my personal life and probably my time in chemistry most of all. I do my best to moderate the behaviour and mitigate its negative effects these days though the dark little dynamo still spins like it ever did. I’d like to think that with the benefit of hindsight I’d make different choices though whether I would or not when it came to the crunch I don’t know. Equally I wonder what I would be without the drive (or ‘the madness’ as my father calls it) and suspect that I would simply dissolve into melancholy.

As for drugs and alcohol, they’re just an excuse which has become socially acceptable through repetition. They only really knock down some of a person’s inhibitions. If we behave like a sh*t person when using them it’s because underneath our fears and inhibitions, that is what we are. Equally if we choose to use them in spite of knowing the effect they have, we choose to accept the consequences.
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Re: Do you have regrets?

Postby Manners73 » Fri Apr 12, 2019 4:19 pm

justonemoreperson wrote:
Manners73 wrote:I only really regret the things I've done if I've done them under the influence of drugs or alcohol.


Bollocks.

You didn't wake up one morning and decide, "I'm going to wreck my life with drugs and alcohol today!"

Drugs, alcohol and everything else that you don't like about yourself comes from decisions you've made. Bad decisions, you must have made them, and not all when you can pretend to pass the buck by blaming drugs and alcohol.


I do regret the things I've done concerning crime when I've been on alcohol. I'm not blaming what I did on the alcohol. I regret these things because I've not been in full control of myself.

What's bollocks about that then?

-- Fri Apr 12, 2019 4:23 pm --

SoloZombie wrote:
justonemoreperson wrote:
Manners73 wrote:I only really regret the things I've done if I've done them under the influence of drugs or alcohol.


Bollocks.

You didn't wake up one morning and decide, "I'm going to wreck my life with drugs and alcohol today!"

Drugs, alcohol and everything else that you don't like about yourself comes from decisions you've made. Bad decisions, you must have made them, and not all when you can pretend to pass the buck by blaming drugs and alcohol.


Interesting, so you’re saying the regret should be the decision to start using drugs in the first place as opposed to the negative fall out from that decision?


I don't regret taking drugs at all. I had a blast when I used to get high but I've also made bad decisions whilst on LSD and alcohol where I've ended up getting arrested so it's that that I regret but for the most part I don't regret the drug use. Why would I?
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Re: Do you have regrets?

Postby SoloZombie » Fri Apr 12, 2019 5:42 pm

I was trying to follow along with jomps thinking. It makes sense but I had a blast during my drug experimentation phase. I don’t regret that part of my life at all either. Some of the best times I’ve ever had to be honest.
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Re: Do you have regrets?

Postby justonemoreperson » Fri Apr 12, 2019 6:01 pm

SoloZombie wrote:I was trying to follow along with jomps thinking. It makes sense but I had a blast during my drug experimentation phase. I don’t regret that part of my life at all either. Some of the best times I’ve ever had to be honest.


I don't regret taking drugs either.

My point is that you can't regret the symptom without regretting what caused it. It's like regretting your finger hurting because you shoved it into a meat grinder.

You should regret shoving it into the meat grinder, not complain about the symptoms.

Manners was saying she regretted what she did when on drugs but doesn't regret getting onto the drugs. It's futile; I'm guessing because doing so doesn't require her to take action.
I'm not arguing; I'm explaining why I'm right.
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