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Conduct Disorder Question

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Conduct Disorder Question

Postby DaturaInnoxia » Sun Feb 10, 2019 7:09 am

Anyone is welcome to answer, but I have a couple of questions for people who had conduct disorder as children - if they're willing to answer.

Did people (educators, etc) try to help you in regards to being more effective in the outside world (impulse management, moral reasoning, anxiety/aggression/frustration regulation...)?

If so, what was helpful, and what was not?

Were you patronized, or treated like children?

What would have been helpful?

As I observe this forum, it seems people are very intelligent (which I've already mentioned before)
- as teens, were you more intelligent or mature than your peers?
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Re: Conduct Disorder Question

Postby solemnlysworn » Sun Feb 10, 2019 7:33 am

Teachers only condemned actions or helped me make excuses for them. There was never a proactive approach to my behaviours. A couple of teachers got on-board with my parents in a 'reward' system where I got pocket money for good behaviour in and out of school. I don't think that there was ever an attempt to fix the mindset behind it.

People who had exposure to my behaviours thought I was calculating and so maybe that's why they didn't bother trying to 'teach' me the correct way to behave except in showing me that behaving badly lead to undesirable consequences. I was treated as though I knew what was expected and didn't do what was asked so was punished accordingly.

What I probably would have found useful is somebody who allowed themselves to think the way I did without care for moral or social obligation coach me into seeing the bigger picture and not the small victories and immediate gain. I'd have developed a more effective long-term approach much sooner.

Most saw me as intelligent compared to my peers but immature in some aspects of development. I wasn't above petulance or biting people to get what I wanted, for instance. I preferred the company of adults and my interests had developed a little more quickly though-- still enjoyed a kick-around at school but socially I was testing waters earlier than everybody else.
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Re: Conduct Disorder Question

Postby Manners73 » Sun Feb 10, 2019 4:47 pm

I have ADHD. I was written off by teachers and too much of a handful for social workers as well.

Got sent to an approved school where I can't remember much of an education happening, not for me anyway.

I probably am intelligent in my own way but school didn't really serve much of a purpose for me and I think I'd be exactly the same if I had my time over again.

I was told by so many people that there's nothing down for me and that I'd be dead by the time I was 20. I didn't ever believe them but it must have had some kind of impact on me for me to remember it.

I think I was quite disruptive although I didn't mean to be. I did have friends my own age but I have always been very young for my age.
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Re: Conduct Disorder Question

Postby SoloZombie » Sun Feb 10, 2019 5:12 pm

I didn’t get sent to a psychiatrist when I was a kid so I didn’t get diagnosed with conduct disorder although I would have certainly fit the criteria. Looking back there was probably one or two teachers who trying to help me, I was told many times that I was talented and teachers wanted me to work harder. It just seemed like I was being singled out and I acted out even more.

Most just tried to punish me, that had a reverse effect as well, I just started skipping school when it became an issue for me. I just think I was acting out frustration from a chaotic abusive childhood. It would have taken someone really talented in dealing with problem children to get through to me at that point in my life but I definitely think it was possible.
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Re: Conduct Disorder Question

Postby Manners73 » Sun Feb 10, 2019 5:23 pm

There was people who tried with me but I just don't know why they couldn't help because I didn't feel like I was so bad. One social worker actually tied me up in the back garden of the childrens home so I couldn't get away. I can remember struggling but he wouldn't have got away with that these days.

I did see psychiatrists whilst I was at approved school but it's a very distant memory for me to be honest.

I was always being accused of being on drugs even when I was very young and I did used to get frustrated about that.
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Re: Conduct Disorder Question

Postby DaturaInnoxia » Sun Feb 10, 2019 11:34 pm

I appreciate all the in depth answers.

It seems like a lot more could be done for this population.

I can see how extremes between control and punishment vs completely co-signing bullsh1t would be ineffective.
Especially for any young person with OD, CD or ADHD; or a strong personality in general.

solemnlysworn wrote:What I probably would have found useful is somebody who allowed themselves to think the way I did without care for moral or social obligation coach me into seeing the bigger picture and not the small victories and immediate gain. I'd have developed a more effective long-term approach much sooner.


/\ This looks like a very important point. Thank you.

SoloZombie wrote:Looking back there was probably one or two teachers who trying to help me, I was told many times that I was talented and teachers wanted me to work harder. It just seemed like I was being singled out and I acted out even more.


/\ This made me wonder if their attempts at positive motivation made you uncomfortable, or feel pressured/overwhelmed or were misinterpreted by you due to your other experiences/stressors/abuse (or you sensed it was an indirect way of them trying to get you to behave - lots of abused and/or neglected children can become pretty good at detecting ulterior motives)... or maybe I'm completely off point.

Manners73 wrote:There was people who tried with me but I just don't know why they couldn't help because I didn't feel like I was so bad. One social worker actually tied me up in the back garden of the childrens home so I couldn't get away. I can remember struggling but he wouldn't have got away with that these days.


/\ I doubt you were "that bad"
Even when it comes to children being violent or torturing others or animals, etc, they usually find trauma and/or brain development abnormalities behind it - if they look.

I'll refrain from getting philosophical, but these replies show a population of individuals that were not getting the help or intervention they needed - instead, they were written of as "bad seeds"
Maybe because people could better justify letting them fall through the cracks that way.
*Enabling and cosigning #######4 is just as ineffective.
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Re: Conduct Disorder Question

Postby easiersaidthandone » Mon Feb 11, 2019 3:32 am

I was diagnosed with adhd and conduct disorder when I was 5.

I didn't get any help. I just got the crap beat out of me lol

I didn't learn from scolding or beatings. I just got smarter. Teachers in school beat me and constantly threatened to send me to conduct school but my parents had connections. They begged my parents to take me to psychologists all my life but they never listened after the initial diagnoses.
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Re: Conduct Disorder Question

Postby DaturaInnoxia » Mon Feb 11, 2019 6:42 am

easiersaidthandone wrote:I didn't learn from scolding or beatings. I just got smarter. Teachers in school beat me and constantly threatened to send me to conduct school but my parents had connections. They begged my parents to take me to psychologists all my life but they never listened after the initial diagnoses.


Very unfortunate; in my mind this goes under backlash of trying to abuse a strong-willed young person into submission and not looking at interventions while the brain is still in early development.

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*** To note: I don't mean to make anyone uncomfortable, irritated or to pry, and I can be quite oblivious to proper interaction rules; I hope my added commentaries are not a deterant.
- Just extremely curious about different types of people
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Re: Conduct Disorder Question

Postby SoloZombie » Mon Feb 11, 2019 12:45 pm

DaturaInnoxia wrote:
SoloZombie wrote:Looking back there was probably one or two teachers who trying to help me, I was told many times that I was talented and teachers wanted me to work harder. It just seemed like I was being singled out and I acted out even more.


/\ This made me wonder if their attempts at positive motivation made you uncomfortable, or feel pressured/overwhelmed or were misinterpreted by you due to your other experiences/stressors/abuse (or you sensed it was an indirect way of them trying to get you to behave - lots of abused and/or neglected children can become pretty good at detecting ulterior motives)... or maybe I'm completely off point.


That could be part of it, a lot of it was I just saw it as an attempt to control me. I had issues with authority figures and would resist. If someone could have lit the path for me and let me walk down it on my own terms I think that would have worked better.
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