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Addiction and addictive personalities

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Addiction and addictive personalities

Postby solemnlysworn » Fri Feb 01, 2019 8:03 pm

How does it go for you?

I need something to chase or I mope. When I ban myself from being an idiot for a while I dive into money-making and I think it's because it feeds the same addictive quality while also being mildly productive. Only way to keep myself sane in recovery has been focussing on capital. Been buying in bulk and shifting on weekend lately because it gives me a little bit of a kick. There's no real objective sense to it because it's not impacting my lifestyle in any way but it keeps me focussed on something so I take longer before noticing what's being swept under the carpet.

Drug use acted in exactly the same way. It's the second resort when getting jollies from a hustle stales. Keeps me at a level where I'm not fully satisfied but 'will do' for long enough that I'm not stuck fighting myself and wondering why I bother.

Need my feeling sensors turned up and sensitivity to stimulus remapped so I can share what everyone else does without needing to resort to stupidity to feel anything but blandness.
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Re: Addiction and addictive personalities

Postby Brandon1 » Fri Feb 01, 2019 8:07 pm

I'm addicted to cannabis, tobacco and pornography. I think that's it.
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Re: Addiction and addictive personalities

Postby solemnlysworn » Fri Feb 01, 2019 8:10 pm

I never got the weed addiction thing. I understand people become dependant on it to destress and chill out but I've never had the 'I really need a joint right now' urge that some of the guys around me do. Always a conscious choice rather than some inner craving
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Re: Addiction and addictive personalities

Postby Brandon1 » Fri Feb 01, 2019 8:12 pm

I get irritable and moody without weed.
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Re: Addiction and addictive personalities

Postby Manners73 » Fri Feb 01, 2019 8:32 pm

I do have an addictive personality.

I'm also an obsessive as well - not sure if the two go hand in hand and I'm also a control freak when it comes to myself.

I am a workaholic. I've been an alcoholic, chocoholic, drug addict and a fitness freak.

I just jump from one addiction to the next and I'm not happy unless I am actually addicted to something. It's as though the addiction in itself is part of what makes me live.

I don't smoke weed anymore because I can't function on it.
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Re: Addiction and addictive personalities

Postby solemnlysworn » Fri Feb 01, 2019 8:34 pm

What does it do to you? puts me in a coma except if I'm driving-- 120 on a dual carriageway baked off my face is actually a kind of active meditative state :)
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Re: Addiction and addictive personalities

Postby Manners73 » Fri Feb 01, 2019 8:50 pm

It can make me concentrate and watch a full feature length movie which is something a couldn't normally do but it also makes me retreat within myself and paranoid to an almost psychosis level so I could never go out of the house or socialise if I smoke weed.

I can't remember it doing that to me when I was younger but I think it's got stronger since those days.

I like drugs to work for me and weed just works against me so I don't bother with it.
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Re: Addiction and addictive personalities

Postby vcrpamphlet » Sat Feb 02, 2019 4:52 am

solemnlysworn wrote:I never got the weed addiction thing. I understand people become dependant on it to destress and chill out but I've never had the 'I really need a joint right now' urge that some of the guys around me do. Always a conscious choice rather than some inner craving


Sounds to be expected, even if you do have high natural dopamine. Hard to get addicted to weed alone without mixing with tobacco, in which case you're kind of f*cked if you don't smoke cigarettes separately. But plenty still get addicted through the appeal to certain traits like hedonism and GAD, or as means of soothing whatever fallout from trauma. Can't say I've met anyone with a function problem because of it that didn't have something else going on underneath.

Is your drug intake causing anything undesirable? Functional users are fairly common.
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Re: Addiction and addictive personalities

Postby Squaredonutwheels » Sat Feb 02, 2019 10:13 am

Nothing quite like two points of M up my bum; dipping the tip of a cigarette in some scotch-then into a mound of coke-lighting it and passing it around. Or rolling the smoothest thick clouds in a bowl. It's the ritualistic aspect that I find myself hooked on as much as the act itself. It's like when you're about to be naughty naughty. It's the rush and prep that comes before hand. Once the ball is rolling, it's rolling. It's the lead up that has me focusing like a dog waiting for a ball to be thrown.

I'm clean 5 days now of everything. Not even cigarettes, sex and love. This time I think it will last longer.
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Re: Addiction and addictive personalities

Postby Manners73 » Sat Feb 02, 2019 6:04 pm

^^Completely get you about the ritualistic aspect of it all. I'm even ritualistic about rolling a cigarette.

I only smoke 4 or 5 a day and I love it.

Well done in your sobriety.
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