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Empath

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Empath

Postby CandleInTheWindow » Sat Dec 22, 2018 9:26 pm

Have you ever met an empath or someone who claims to be an empath?

I ask this because I'm quite unemotional, non empathetic or sympathetic for that matter but the other week I heard the news that my brother had died.

Anyway to cut a story short I was in the kitchen at work and I told a woman about him dying and she started to cry. She apologised for this and gave me the excuse that it's because she has too much empathy.

I just started to laugh and told her not to worry.

Has anyone here experienced this at all?

I've kept away from her ever since because I just thought the whole thing was a bit weird and far fetched because if she was empathising with me then surely she would have felt very little. She certainly wouldn't have broke down crying.
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Re: Empath

Postby Solowolfpack » Sat Dec 22, 2018 9:50 pm

I dated someone who said she was an empath, she said she could feel everyone’s emotions and it gets overwhelming at times. Now if someone can lack empathy, or have normal empathy I think it reasonable to assume you can also have high levels of empathy.

The funny thing was random people, all different kinds of random people used to come up to her and just starr talking to her, she used to draw people in, I still remember one time at a bar, the band was playing pretty good music place was active and out of nowhere this random girl granted she was a little drunk come over and just start talking her ear off we couldn’t get rid of her she kept saying what a connection she felt etc. take it at face value, I think there is something to it
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Re: Empath

Postby CandleInTheWindow » Sat Dec 22, 2018 10:13 pm

My brother had AsPD and as far back as I can remember he stole, lied and did what ever he wanted to do and never showed any kind of guilt or remorse. His life was in chaos and so was everyone else's who was involved with him.

I absolutely adored his as a child. I completely followed in his footsteps up until 20 years ago when I saw his life completely spiral out of control and for the sake of my daughter I walked away and never looked back.

I thought he was already dead when I got the news of his death. I instantly broke down but that was shock. Since then I can't grieve for him or cry or anything.

I think the person at work must have been crying because I can't.

I can't really go anywhere else other than this site to talk about him because...well just because.
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Re: Empath

Postby Solowolfpack » Sat Dec 22, 2018 10:26 pm

yeah, it was probably her empathizing with what she assumed you were experiencing emotionally. I’m not to sure, maybe you are having like a delayed reaction, still in shock, or haven’t been able to process it properly?
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Re: Empath

Postby CandleInTheWindow » Sat Dec 22, 2018 10:39 pm

Thank you for your help.
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Re: Empath

Postby Solowolfpack » Sat Dec 22, 2018 10:52 pm

CandleInTheWindow wrote:Thank you for your help.


Lol, did I miss the point here or something. I feel like I have
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Re: Empath

Postby CandleInTheWindow » Sat Dec 22, 2018 11:02 pm

Solowolfpack wrote:
CandleInTheWindow wrote:Thank you for your help.


Lol, did I miss the point here or something. I feel like I have


Lol, no...not at all. I was going to say that empathy seems like bullsh*t if it's all just about imagining what the other person is feeling...but then I got distracted by the telly.
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Re: Empath

Postby Solowolfpack » Sat Dec 22, 2018 11:15 pm

CandleInTheWindow wrote:
Solowolfpack wrote:
CandleInTheWindow wrote:Thank you for your help.


Lol, did I miss the point here or something. I feel like I have


Lol, no...not at all. I was going to say that empathy seems like bullsh*t if it's all just about imagining what the other person is feeling...but then I got distracted by the telly.


Yeah, that’s all empathy is it’s mirror neurons that recognize emotions in other people and recreate the same emotions in the person empathizing it. It’s not them actually catching some real emotional vibes I don’t think. I just think it’s being in tune with what other people are feeling. That’s all it is I think
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Re: Empath

Postby HSS » Sun Dec 23, 2018 10:38 am

Perhaps she is an emotional person, and she imagined your feelings about death from her personal experience. Perhaps she missed somebody and suffered for this.
Technically this is not empathy. It's just being an emotional person, that is different. The greatest part of people are shocked by death and then assume that all people are shocked by it.

On the other hand, there is a possibility that she perceived something that you feel, but you aren't aware of it. Perhaps you denied unconsciously your sadness.

Anyhow I would lean for the first one here.

But I don't understand why you are avoiding her, do you think that she is crazy or that she is a liar?
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Re: Empath

Postby HSS » Sun Dec 23, 2018 1:32 pm

More generally (it's not strictly referred to this thread), there is a natural instinct to fill the void.

It's really difficult to experience a real empathy with someone, if he has “an empty soul”.
I assume that this is related with the experience of the death.
If I have to “see” that someone “has nothing, feels nothing, thinks nothing”, I have to experience a “virtual”, little death.
Through the empathy, when I give my attention to somebody/something, I identify with him/it and I “become” that person or that object. But how could I become a “black hole” without losing myself?
I have the natural instinct to preserve my identity, even before that I realize it consciously.
And then, to preserve it, I project my emotions/beliefs, ... into the other person.

Projection is a natural mental process, but I assume that it's stronger with AsPD and even more with psychopaths.
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