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Rage

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Rage

Postby xdisconnectedx » Sun Dec 09, 2018 5:30 pm

I noticed that for very little things people do that only slightly make me angry or annoy me I curse them to death. They only have to say one little thing that upsets me and I can change into rage mode and talk to myself about how I want them to suffocate on their own disgusting puke and die a horrible death. I hate most people and I hate the way they behave. I don't know if that's the reason why I can change so quickly into this extreme contempt. Is anyone here experiencing the same thing? Can someone understand my thinking? (maybe it's because I have borderline, but I'm not sure, because I can't remember that I was different as a kid, I always cursed people in a cruel way when I disliked their behaviour)
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Re: Rage

Postby mysza » Sun Dec 09, 2018 7:53 pm

I think that such anger is more narcissistic than antisocial, but yes - I know it (but I don'r have any particular PD). I think you have the same as me and it is rather NPD, but you should be diagnosed.
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Re: Rage

Postby naps » Sun Dec 09, 2018 8:00 pm

xdisconnectedx wrote:I noticed that for very little things people do that only slightly make me angry or annoy me I curse them to death. They only have to say one little thing that upsets me and I can change into rage mode and talk to myself about how I want them to suffocate on their own disgusting puke and die a horrible death. I hate most people and I hate the way they behave. I don't know if that's the reason why I can change so quickly into this extreme contempt. Is anyone here experiencing the same thing? Can someone understand my thinking? (maybe it's because I have borderline, but I'm not sure, because I can't remember that I was different as a kid, I always cursed people in a cruel way when I disliked their behaviour)


Sounds like something I could have written (while extremely drunk).

It could be from BPD, which I do not have, because it's probably emotionally based. For me, I think it stems from resentment, but I'm not sure where exactly that resentment comes from. But I have a few ideas.

Like you, I turn it inward, which is not good. I've learned that outward aggression doesn't always work well for me, unless I get weird about it, or channel it more passively, as with vandalism. I've mentioned this to doctors and they respond by prescribing anti-psychotics.

The only way anti-psychotics would work would be if I ground them into a powder and snuck them into the food in a salad bar.

Please note my use of the word if.
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Re: Rage

Postby justonemoreperson » Sun Dec 09, 2018 8:07 pm

naps wrote:
The only way anti-psychotics would work would be if I ground them into a powder and snuck them into the food in a salad bar.


Sounds like the right thing to do; laughter is the best medicine.

Please note my use of the word if.


Naturally.
I'm not arguing, I'm explaining why I'm right.
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Re: Rage

Postby naps » Sun Dec 09, 2018 8:16 pm

justonemoreperson wrote:
naps wrote:
The only way anti-psychotics would work would be if I ground them into a powder and snuck them into the food in a salad bar.


Sounds like the right thing to do; laughter is the best medicine.


https://youtu.be/36LnnBNcETk?t=37
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Re: Rage

Postby xdisconnectedx » Sun Dec 09, 2018 8:38 pm

Okay, interesting that at least two people here know how I feel.

@mysza
Hmm, my therapist actually said I'm also narcissistic so it could be an explanation if you say so too.

@naps
That makes a lot of sense I think. Very often I have a VERY strong aggression in me. And I always swallow it down and keep it for myself. Maybe that's a valid reason. I guess I should start with martial arts or punching against a punching bag. One time where I was in rage because of a stupid bit*h I punched the wall and broke my metacarpal (a bone in my hand) into two parts.
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Re: Rage

Postby naps » Sun Dec 09, 2018 8:58 pm

xdisconnectedx wrote:@mysza
Hmm, my therapist actually said I'm also narcissistic so it could be an explanation if you say so too.


I assume I have narcissistic traits as well, so there's three of us so far.

@naps
That makes a lot of sense I think. Very often I have a VERY strong aggression in me. And I always swallow it down and keep it for myself. Maybe that's a valid reason. I guess I should start with martial arts or punching against a punching bag. One time where I was in rage because of a stupid bit*h I punched the wall and broke my metacarpal (a bone in my hand) into two parts.


I've never broken my hand, but I've punched walls. I've knocked my own teeth out. Banged my head against walls. Knocked doors off their frames, etc. Ultimately, this backfires; you have to deal with the consequences as I'm sure you know.

Lately (past six months or so) my anger has gotten better, in regards to acting out. The anger is still there, and the triggers still remain; if anything, they've gotten worse. But apparently I'm handling it better.
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Re: Rage

Postby justonemoreperson » Sun Dec 09, 2018 9:47 pm

naps wrote:Lately (past six months or so) my anger has gotten better, in regards to acting out. The anger is still there, and the triggers still remain; if anything, they've gotten worse. But apparently I'm handling it better.



They're getting worse because they're going unsatisfied. Find something to release them on; boxing, martial arts, etc. I focused on weights and running, mainly because I didn't have the discipline for fighting sports.
I'm not arguing, I'm explaining why I'm right.
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Re: Rage

Postby salles » Sun Dec 09, 2018 10:52 pm

xdisconnectedx wrote:I noticed that for very little things people do that only slightly make me angry or annoy me I curse them to death. They only have to say one little thing that upsets me and I can change into rage mode and talk to myself about how I want them to suffocate on their own disgusting puke and die a horrible death. I hate most people and I hate the way they behave. I don't know if that's the reason why I can change so quickly into this extreme contempt. Is anyone here experiencing the same thing? Can someone understand my thinking? (maybe it's because I have borderline, but I'm not sure, because I can't remember that I was different as a kid, I always cursed people in a cruel way when I disliked their behaviour)
'


IED?
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Re: Rage

Postby easiersaidthandone » Mon Dec 10, 2018 5:02 am

I believe the severity is irritablity, anger, rage.

I've never had full blown rage but I have had anger particularly when I was younger. I'd sometimes throw temper tantrums to get what I wanted by making holes in the wall. These days I can count on 1 hand the amount of anger episodes I'll have in a year.

Overtime I have not only further detached emotionally but simply became better at the art of control and my anger always stemmed from a lack of control.

I think you made this post in the wrong subforum. You'd probably get more feedback in the Bpd/Npd sub.
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