Our partner

The need to go against the grain

Antisocial Personality Disorder message board, open discussion, and online support group.

Moderator: seabreezeblue

Forum rules
Attention Please. You are entering the ASPD forum. Please read this carefully.

Given the unique propensities of those who are faced with the issues of ASPD, topics at times may be uncomfortable for non ASPD readers. Discussions related to violent urges are permitted here, within the context of deeper understanding of the commonalties shared by members. Indulging these urges is not what regular users here are attempting to do.

Conversations here can be triggering for those who have suffered abuse or violent encounters. Respectful questioning is welcome from non ASPD members.

For those who have no respect for either this illness or for those who are living with it, please do not enter this forum. Discrimination of Personality Disorders is not tolerated on this site.

Moderators are present here to ensure that members treat each other with dignity and respect. If topics become overly graphic or drift from having a healthy perspective, moderators will intervene.
Please feel free to contact a moderator if you have any questions or concerns.

Best Regards,
The Team

The need to go against the grain

Postby easiersaidthandone » Sun Dec 02, 2018 3:41 pm

Being contrarian for the sake of it. Even when the majority believes in something I agree with I like to take the opposite stance and duke it out like if it was a strongly held belief. Then when I get bored I simply move on. This isn't the case only for beliefs, but also personality. I've noticed it changes subconsciously to contrast the personality of the group or the person with power.

For example if everyone is being an asshole, my personality naturally shifts to being more kind hearted and genuine. If most people are behaving nicely, I might shift into more of an asshole.

This isn't always the case if the goal impedes me from going against the grain, and when I need to win somebody's trust it makes sense to mirror them somewhat. But I have noticed this behavior and just low agreeableness in general.

However I can't pinpoint why it happens subconsciously and I'd be interested in your thoughts.
We live in a primitive time, neither savage nor wise. Half measures are the curse of it. Any rational society would either kill me or put me to some use.
User avatar
easiersaidthandone
Consumer 5
Consumer 5
 
Posts: 108
Joined: Sat Nov 24, 2018 4:25 pm
Local time: Thu Jan 17, 2019 12:03 am
Blog: View Blog (0)


ADVERTISEMENT

Re: The need to go against the grain

Postby justonemoreperson » Sun Dec 02, 2018 3:50 pm

It gets you noticed.
I'm not arguing, I'm explaining why I'm right.
justonemoreperson
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 9678
Joined: Sat Mar 31, 2012 8:02 am
Local time: Thu Jan 17, 2019 12:03 am
Blog: View Blog (1)

Re: The need to go against the grain

Postby Gimmeabreakman » Sun Dec 02, 2018 4:14 pm

I do this too, more often than not.
Never really contemplated why though, it's just what I do.
It's a form of entertainment maybe amidst boring social interactions.
Gimmeabreakman
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 376
Joined: Sun Feb 14, 2016 10:34 am
Local time: Thu Jan 17, 2019 1:03 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: The need to go against the grain

Postby Jonna » Sun Dec 02, 2018 4:38 pm

My first thought is that not aligning yourself with anybody sounds like a form of egoistic aggression. The ego is asserting itself as "I'm here" and "all you are there."
Last edited by Jonna on Sun Dec 02, 2018 4:56 pm, edited 2 times in total.
Jonna
Consumer 5
Consumer 5
 
Posts: 147
Joined: Tue Aug 08, 2017 4:45 pm
Local time: Wed Jan 16, 2019 4:03 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: The need to go against the grain

Postby justonemoreperson » Sun Dec 02, 2018 4:52 pm

Jonna wrote:My first thought is that not aligning yourself with anybody sounds like a form of egoistic aggression. The ego is asserting itself as "I'm here" and "all you are there."


Seems a bit weak. Doing this for that reason is allowing people to control how you respond to everything. It's the exact opposite to agreeing with everyone, but to the point where it's just as reactive.
I'm not arguing, I'm explaining why I'm right.
justonemoreperson
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 9678
Joined: Sat Mar 31, 2012 8:02 am
Local time: Thu Jan 17, 2019 12:03 am
Blog: View Blog (1)

Re: The need to go against the grain

Postby naps » Sun Dec 02, 2018 5:21 pm

It comes naturally for me. My thoughts and opinions always seem to be in the minority. This can be annoying at times, but I pride myself on it because I find society distasteful and most of popular culture vapid. I don't consider myself to be some towering iconoclast, but at the same time I dislike the thought of my identity being swallowed up by the banality that surrounds me.

I have a kneejerk reaction to question or reject a lot of things, and while I suspect this may be in part due to arrogance or insecurity, I nevertheless cling to my contrarian nature because it brings me comfort.
naps
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 7489
Joined: Sun Feb 22, 2015 2:10 pm
Local time: Wed Jan 16, 2019 8:03 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: The need to go against the grain

Postby easiersaidthandone » Sun Dec 02, 2018 5:27 pm

Gimmeabreakman wrote:It's a form of entertainment

It is entertaining; although for me it seems to be a strategy to quickly stand out and force others to have a stronger opinion of me. Once I begin to align myself more with others it carries a stronger impression; since I was initially so different.
We live in a primitive time, neither savage nor wise. Half measures are the curse of it. Any rational society would either kill me or put me to some use.
User avatar
easiersaidthandone
Consumer 5
Consumer 5
 
Posts: 108
Joined: Sat Nov 24, 2018 4:25 pm
Local time: Thu Jan 17, 2019 12:03 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: The need to go against the grain

Postby RamadanSteve » Sun Dec 02, 2018 5:36 pm

Why are you guys such extreme contrarians? I like to espouse controversial opinions but only if I actually feel that have merit. Is it because you don't care if your opinions have merit? Do you find merit as a concept completely meaningless? Is it just to amuse yourself?
RamadanSteve
Consumer 4
Consumer 4
 
Posts: 81
Joined: Thu Jun 21, 2018 2:51 pm
Local time: Wed Jan 16, 2019 7:03 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: The need to go against the grain

Postby easiersaidthandone » Sun Dec 02, 2018 5:54 pm

The point i was arriving at is that opinions and personalities displayed are simply means to an end.

Is it because you don't care if your opinions have merit?

I have my own personal opinions that I believe to be right. The point is that I don't believe in remaining rigid, because I'm more focused on achieving what I've set out to do rather than uphold my own personal beliefs. So I remain fluid and adaptable and portray myself in whichever way is best for that situation. It's simply more efficient this way.
We live in a primitive time, neither savage nor wise. Half measures are the curse of it. Any rational society would either kill me or put me to some use.
User avatar
easiersaidthandone
Consumer 5
Consumer 5
 
Posts: 108
Joined: Sat Nov 24, 2018 4:25 pm
Local time: Thu Jan 17, 2019 12:03 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: The need to go against the grain

Postby PsychoGenesis » Sun Dec 02, 2018 6:30 pm

existential crisis comes to mind.
''our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate
our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure''


rs1042778, rs4790904 homozygous ┬┴┬┴┤( ͡° ͜ʖ├┬┴┬┴
User avatar
PsychoGenesis
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 326
Joined: Tue Sep 18, 2018 10:38 pm
Local time: Wed Jan 16, 2019 9:03 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Next

Return to Antisocial Personality Disorder Forum

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Brandon1 and 40 guests