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Were you abused as a child?

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Were you abused as a child?

Postby easiersaidthandone » Sun Dec 02, 2018 1:02 pm

What kind of abuse?
Detail how it happened, how long it lasted, and the severity.
How do you believe it shaped you as a person?

I'm curious how many here would rather not talk about this; because they see it as a vulnerability they would rather not expose.
We live in a primitive time, neither savage nor wise. Half measures are the curse of it. Any rational society would either kill me or put me to some use.
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Re: Were you abused as a child?

Postby FormallyZach31 » Sun Dec 02, 2018 1:11 pm

easiersaidthandone wrote:What kind of abuse?
Detail how it happened, how long it lasted, and the severity.
How do you believe it shaped you as a person?

I'm curious how many here would rather not talk about this; because they see it as a vulnerability they would rather not expose.


raised as wrong gender, beaten, burnt, humiliated and locked away alone for long periods of time.
went on for years till i was about 15 and moved out and went my own way.
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Re: Were you abused as a child?

Postby justonemoreperson » Sun Dec 02, 2018 1:29 pm

I was raised by well-meaning, middle-class parents and didn't suffer any abuse.

That said, I have plenty of memories of talking to doctors etc, and some of that process was unpleasant. I was put on drugs that sometimes caused aural and visual hallucinations, some made me feel sick, dry-mouthed and tired.

There was also a level of frustration; not being able to work out what the problem was and why I was being treated. Treatment was supposed to make me better but it made me feel worse.

Later in life, my mother said she regretted some of the stuff they tried, as it had little effect and she felt as if I was being treated as a curiosity rather than with genuine concern by some. She felt responsible for it, but I think she did what she felt she had to.

My father took less interest in the medical stuff and tried to work with my behaviour. The most help he got for me was shoe-horning me into my first full-time job and helping me get my car license, as he didn't like me riding motorbikes and the people I associated with because of the bike.
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Re: Were you abused as a child?

Postby Eight » Sun Dec 02, 2018 10:12 pm

@jomp, how did your parents themselves respond to your getting into trouble? to your misbehavior at school? your aggression towards other people? What methods did they try with you?

Or I guess this is a question I have to anyone with AsPD: how did your parents try to assist you? or to cope with you?
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Re: Were you abused as a child?

Postby xSid » Sun Dec 02, 2018 10:31 pm

easiersaidthandone wrote:What kind of abuse?
Detail how it happened, how long it lasted, and the severity.
How do you believe it shaped you as a person?

I'm curious how many here would rather not talk about this; because they see it as a vulnerability they would rather not expose.


I was raised in a religious institution and was getting the $#%^ beaten out of me almost daily since I was 4 until I was like 13, when I was sent to the reform center. With today's standards, I was abused. With the early 90's standards, in my country, my raising might have been distasteful, or harsh, but nothing to worry about, plus I "probably deserved most of it", according to the, back then, prevalent mentality
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Re: Were you abused as a child?

Postby Reaper » Mon Dec 03, 2018 2:04 am

I grew up with a mother who became an alcoholic at some point in her life, who dated alcoholic men who would verbally and physically abuse her. They weren't abusive to me. It was my mother who copped it all, and occasionally my brother. I got whipped once for not doing my chores, but that was nothing.

I remember my mother had a really bad temper and I saw her belt the shlt out of my brother and sister (though, not very often). I don't remember her ever hitting me, except on one occasion where she gave me a slap across the face for backanswering. I know she used to get hell mad at me though and would threaten to strangle me at times, but I don't remember her ever actually abusing me. It was my brother and sister who seemed to get it all cos if anything happened, I always put the blame on them.

I witnessed a lot more violence and abuse in the home than I ever experienced myself.
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Re: Were you abused as a child?

Postby justonemoreperson » Mon Dec 03, 2018 7:34 am

Eight wrote:@jomp, how did your parents themselves respond to your getting into trouble? to your misbehavior at school? your aggression towards other people? What methods did they try with you?


I doubt I'm aware of the full range of methods they used, because it was a long time ago and I forget.

What I do remember is that they took me to see various, I'm going to call them all, 'doctors' although some of them would have been social workers and therapists. At one point we spent a few weeks travelling somewhere else on the train, so it must have been a distance away.

My mother was a teacher at a high school, but when I started to have major trouble at primary school she got a job as a supply teacher at that school, so that she could be there in case things kicked off.

When I hit my teens things got worse and my parents started to get involved with the local church. There was a priest at the church who worked with wayward kids and he took me on to an extent. He was better than the others because he taught me how to roll smokes and let me help him work on his cars. He also got me a few part time jobs, which I failed at.
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Re: Were you abused as a child?

Postby Squaredonutwheels » Tue Dec 04, 2018 12:04 am

When someone stabs another with a shank.
Push into the steel
all the way in
so close you can lean into their ear and whisper
"thank you"
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Re: Were you abused as a child

Postby Quoth » Tue Dec 04, 2018 4:09 am

In the pathogenesis of a PD sense, no.

In my v. early teens the medical profession made a spirited attempt to shuffle me off this mortal coil when my AIP was misdiagnosed as a psychiatric problem and I was subjected to a cocktail of psychopharmaceuticals, therapies and other unpleasantness which radically exacerbated my condition. Net result I had to endure a sizable amount of physical pain and was left temporarily paralysed. That took about 18 months with total recovery taking about 5 years give or take, though I was reasonably active by 15.

While I’d rather not have the disorder, the recovery forced me to learn a number of skills, which are the foundation on which my later achievements and that which I have to day, are based. Growing up with the condition in latent form probably had more of an effect in making me more risk averse and less impulsive than I would otherwise have been.

I’ve spent a considerable amount of time here trying to analyse my upbringing in terms of pathogenic learning, something which is pointless exercise in my case, but still. Generally it requires a fair amount of spin on my part to interpret it as abuse. For example I could say I was kicked by my father once though what that misses is that I was attempting to bash him with a cricket bat at the time.

Mostly difficulties came as a result of interactions with the school authorities which were detailed in another thread recently so I won’t reiterate them here. I got accosted by a police officer a couple of times but that was for minor infractions and simply a case of being surly and sardonic at them until they went away.

In answer to Eights question (though it wasn’t really directed at me). My parents were very bad at punishment but quite good at behavioural modification.

For the most part rules were explained in a manner I understood and agreed upon by mutual consent. I got grounded quite a bit for not coming home when required. Other antics such as steeling money and buggering off on Holliday was half an hours yelling and a raise in my allowance so I had enough money to do it off my own back, but not so much that I wouldn’t have to budget.

My mother in particular had more difficulty with the sexual nature of my indiscretions during my later teens, but again it was usually about 30 mins of being ticked off with one exception. My father has always been stalwartly on my side. Ultimately this led to the 3 week rule, which basically said that if I had known someone romantically for 3 weeks + the could come and stay with me at home, no questions asked. Not that it was particularly well adhered to.

On a few occasions my parents covered things up from others, including my early malingering and a couple of incidences where people had to be let go. There were incidents that we were ‘never to speak of again’.
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Re: Were you abused as a child?

Postby Eight » Tue Dec 04, 2018 4:27 am

To Quoth, jomp, anyone:
Looking back, using what you know of yourself now, what would you suggest your parents could have done that might have been more effective for your benefit? what about for their benefit?
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