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Were you abused as a child?

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Re: Were you abused as a child?

Postby justonemoreperson » Wed Dec 05, 2018 9:53 am

Quoth wrote:
My feeling on this is that for you 2 and 3 occur in part as a side effect of the physiological differences you were born with.

You aren’t responsive to punishment so in a way 2 occurs because the usual interventions have little or unorthodox effects. You also come at things from a very different perspective than others so we get into the ‘trying to treat a hawk like a budgie’ territory.

3 is simpler as emotional impoverishment is part of the underlying physiology. It’s difficult to learn social conduct correctly if you aren’t receiving the correct emotional impetus, particularly in regards to reward from healthy interactions.


Makes sense.

I inherit my temperament and many of my issues from my paternal grandmother, though my paternal grandfather’s lot seem to have a similar construct turning up further back. Last night she kicked the bucket. She was useful in a way as though we were raised in completely different ways in different cultures and had limited contact through most of my childhood, it was useful to be able to look at her and compare her to myself to see which parts are clearly temperament and which are more developmental in nature.


Interesting. Although having a different environment, did her lifestyle match yours in any way? Did you see her as an inspiration?
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Re: Were you abused as a child?

Postby Squaredonutwheels » Wed Dec 05, 2018 9:56 am

@Quoth. Interesting timing. What kind of changes do you anticipate in yourself now that the old girl is dead?
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Re: Were you abused as a child?

Postby Quoth » Wed Dec 05, 2018 11:03 am

justonemoreperson wrote:Interesting. Although having a different environment, did her lifestyle match yours in any way? Did you see her as an inspiration?
Only in so far as it was fairly affluent. After occupied Europe she spent most of her life in the remains of empire. I don’t get the impression her father was a particularly nice guy but her sister turned out alright. She clearly was a very talented woman once, but when they came back from HK in the late 80s she got bored and hit the bottle hard. My mother determinedly kept me away from her influence and consequently I was raised more by her side of thefamily.

Early on my grandmother was sort of fascinating, later I saw her as a piss artist. She didn’t much care for my mother or later my partner which ticked me off. She also used to try to keep my grandfather and I apart which I resented. I was the one of the few members of the family she didn’t seem to be able to terrorise or belittle, my visits as a teenager usually involved me occasionally mocking her and openly ignoring her instructions as she got progressively more drunk and frustrated.

Squaredonutwheels wrote:@Quoth. Interesting timing. What kind of changes do you anticipate in yourself now that the old girl is dead?
Sorry I don’t really understand the question. I’m not looking forward to refereeing the squabbling which will follow her death but the world is probably better off for her absence.
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Re: Were you abused as a child?

Postby Squaredonutwheels » Wed Dec 05, 2018 11:51 am

I suppose I was asking if you'll fill the tyrannical throne spot she left behind in the family. I suppose your answer answered my question.
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Re: Were you abused as a child?

Postby CopyCat27 » Thu Dec 06, 2018 1:17 pm

I was molested as a child. Witnessed all kinds if sexual and violent stuff going on. Serious neglect by caretakers. Beaten severely on numerous occasions. Even murder attempts by caretakers.
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Re: Were you abused as a child?

Postby easiersaidthandone » Thu Dec 06, 2018 1:34 pm

Looking back, using what you know of yourself now, what would you suggest your parents could have done that might have been more effective for your benefit? what about for their benefit?


My parents were ok. Now I see that the way they treated me was because they ran out of ideas. I never learned. I just would find smarter ways to do what I wanted. Ultimately this led to physical abuse which became consistent at around age 11. The "abuse" happened much later because they ran out of options. I was a bad kid and I deserved it.

I wouldn't wish for them to treat me any different. I attribute the man I am today to all that has shaped my life. I wouldn't change that for anything.

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We live in a primitive time, neither savage nor wise. Half measures are the curse of it. Any rational society would either kill me or put me to some use.
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