Our partner

Were you abused as a child?

Antisocial Personality Disorder message board, open discussion, and online support group.

Moderator: seabreezeblue

Forum rules
Attention Please. You are entering the ASPD forum. Please read this carefully.

Given the unique propensities of those who are faced with the issues of ASPD, topics at times may be uncomfortable for non ASPD readers. Discussions related to violent urges are permitted here, within the context of deeper understanding of the commonalties shared by members. Indulging these urges is not what regular users here are attempting to do.

Conversations here can be triggering for those who have suffered abuse or violent encounters. Respectful questioning is welcome from non ASPD members.

For those who have no respect for either this illness or for those who are living with it, please do not enter this forum. Discrimination of Personality Disorders is not tolerated on this site.

Moderators are present here to ensure that members treat each other with dignity and respect. If topics become overly graphic or drift from having a healthy perspective, moderators will intervene.
Please feel free to contact a moderator if you have any questions or concerns.

Best Regards,
The Team

Re: Were you abused as a child?

Postby justonemoreperson » Wed Dec 05, 2018 9:53 am

Quoth wrote:
My feeling on this is that for you 2 and 3 occur in part as a side effect of the physiological differences you were born with.

You aren’t responsive to punishment so in a way 2 occurs because the usual interventions have little or unorthodox effects. You also come at things from a very different perspective than others so we get into the ‘trying to treat a hawk like a budgie’ territory.

3 is simpler as emotional impoverishment is part of the underlying physiology. It’s difficult to learn social conduct correctly if you aren’t receiving the correct emotional impetus, particularly in regards to reward from healthy interactions.


Makes sense.

I inherit my temperament and many of my issues from my paternal grandmother, though my paternal grandfather’s lot seem to have a similar construct turning up further back. Last night she kicked the bucket. She was useful in a way as though we were raised in completely different ways in different cultures and had limited contact through most of my childhood, it was useful to be able to look at her and compare her to myself to see which parts are clearly temperament and which are more developmental in nature.


Interesting. Although having a different environment, did her lifestyle match yours in any way? Did you see her as an inspiration?
I'm not arguing; I'm explaining why I'm right.
justonemoreperson
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 9799
Joined: Sat Mar 31, 2012 8:02 am
Local time: Sat Apr 20, 2019 2:36 am
Blog: View Blog (1)


ADVERTISEMENT

Re: Were you abused as a child?

Postby Squaredonutwheels » Wed Dec 05, 2018 9:56 am

@Quoth. Interesting timing. What kind of changes do you anticipate in yourself now that the old girl is dead?
Squaredonutwheels
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 722
Joined: Thu Sep 13, 2018 3:41 pm
Local time: Sat Apr 20, 2019 1:36 pm
Blog: View Blog (11)

Re: Were you abused as a child?

Postby Quoth » Wed Dec 05, 2018 11:03 am

justonemoreperson wrote:Interesting. Although having a different environment, did her lifestyle match yours in any way? Did you see her as an inspiration?
Only in so far as it was fairly affluent. After occupied Europe she spent most of her life in the remains of empire. I don’t get the impression her father was a particularly nice guy but her sister turned out alright. She clearly was a very talented woman once, but when they came back from HK in the late 80s she got bored and hit the bottle hard. My mother determinedly kept me away from her influence and consequently I was raised more by her side of thefamily.

Early on my grandmother was sort of fascinating, later I saw her as a piss artist. She didn’t much care for my mother or later my partner which ticked me off. She also used to try to keep my grandfather and I apart which I resented. I was the one of the few members of the family she didn’t seem to be able to terrorise or belittle, my visits as a teenager usually involved me occasionally mocking her and openly ignoring her instructions as she got progressively more drunk and frustrated.

Squaredonutwheels wrote:@Quoth. Interesting timing. What kind of changes do you anticipate in yourself now that the old girl is dead?
Sorry I don’t really understand the question. I’m not looking forward to refereeing the squabbling which will follow her death but the world is probably better off for her absence.
as if in a broken jug for one backwards moment
water might keep its shape

https://youtu.be/VivuMRzQyw0
User avatar
Quoth
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1455
Joined: Sat Apr 29, 2017 2:03 pm
Local time: Sat Apr 20, 2019 2:36 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: Were you abused as a child?

Postby Squaredonutwheels » Wed Dec 05, 2018 11:51 am

I suppose I was asking if you'll fill the tyrannical throne spot she left behind in the family. I suppose your answer answered my question.
Squaredonutwheels
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 722
Joined: Thu Sep 13, 2018 3:41 pm
Local time: Sat Apr 20, 2019 1:36 pm
Blog: View Blog (11)

Re: Were you abused as a child?

Postby CopyCat27 » Thu Dec 06, 2018 1:17 pm

I was molested as a child. Witnessed all kinds if sexual and violent stuff going on. Serious neglect by caretakers. Beaten severely on numerous occasions. Even murder attempts by caretakers.
CopyCat27
Consumer 5
Consumer 5
 
Posts: 161
Joined: Wed Jul 04, 2018 6:50 pm
Local time: Sat Apr 20, 2019 6:36 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: Were you abused as a child?

Postby easiersaidthandone » Thu Dec 06, 2018 1:34 pm

Looking back, using what you know of yourself now, what would you suggest your parents could have done that might have been more effective for your benefit? what about for their benefit?


My parents were ok. Now I see that the way they treated me was because they ran out of ideas. I never learned. I just would find smarter ways to do what I wanted. Ultimately this led to physical abuse which became consistent at around age 11. The "abuse" happened much later because they ran out of options. I was a bad kid and I deserved it.

I wouldn't wish for them to treat me any different. I attribute the man I am today to all that has shaped my life. I wouldn't change that for anything.

Hard times make hard men.
I don't fake it, I just make it.
easiersaidthandone
Consumer 5
Consumer 5
 
Posts: 155
Joined: Sat Nov 24, 2018 4:25 pm
Local time: Sat Apr 20, 2019 2:36 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: Were you abused as a child?

Postby CandleInTheWindow » Fri Dec 21, 2018 6:17 pm

I saw my brother get badly beaten by our stepmother.

She once told me that her own mother told her never to hit me because there was something about my eyes.

She was/is an extremely abusive person.

Whether or not that has had an affect on my life is something I'm not sure about.

It doesn't really matter now anyway.
User avatar
CandleInTheWindow
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 709
Joined: Tue May 08, 2018 7:30 pm
Local time: Sat Apr 20, 2019 2:36 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: Were you abused as a child?

Postby DaturaInnoxia » Sun Dec 23, 2018 7:17 pm

Don't discredit or deny environmental factors and/or trauma whether it's true or not.

A mental disorder with few redeeming features in the eyes of the general public (and legal system) is already looking to prove its untreatable - like a purely development disorder and/or just born genetically "evil"
Then they don't have to put serious effort into helping people.. helping people will make psych clients extremely 5h1tty consumers.

Rather than finding methods of treatment or coping, they will write people off and with justification if it's not environmentally/trauma based, go back in the direction of institionalizing and/or drugging people with ASPD with maximum doses of brain lobotimizing drugs like the most sedating antipsychotics available to "decrease aggression" or reign in poor impulse control.
At least that way they can contribute to society by consuming pharmaceuticals.

Nothing too far in the direction of brain chemistry or "being born that way" is good for the "consumer"
User avatar
DaturaInnoxia
Consumer 4
Consumer 4
 
Posts: 96
Joined: Thu Jul 05, 2018 5:21 am
Local time: Fri Apr 19, 2019 6:36 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: Were you abused as a child?

Postby solemnlysworn » Mon Dec 24, 2018 9:15 am

When I was young and my parents found me unmanageable (in particular, it was violence that was the tipping point here), sometimes I'd be locked in a study for hours. I'm not sure if it's necessarily abusive but I think it would have been formative.

The study was my mother's and mostly contained legal books. After a while of unsuccessfully playing Houdini, I'd generally go read whatever was there. I read on Roman law initially and then common law, torts and contracts and then European. The books were far too complex for full and intricate understanding but I'd managed to understand enough to talk to my mum about the philosophy in jurisprudence at the dinner table or in the car afterwards quite often or make an observation about a contract in the shop when buying something. Even after release, I'd sometimes take what I was reading and continue over the next couple of weeks in my bedroom lol.

If I wasn't particularly interested in reading then the only other option in there was to play the piano, initially to make as much noise as possible in protest of my containment, but I eventually would become interested in what I was actually doing and do it for its own sake.

Self-isolation and detachment into intellectualisation in the face of my more troublesome behaviours became characteristic as I got a little older, like locking myself back in the study
Hello friend
User avatar
solemnlysworn
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 2172
Joined: Tue Oct 17, 2017 12:51 am
Local time: Sat Apr 20, 2019 2:36 am
Blog: View Blog (1)

Re: Were you abused as a child?

Postby Cassandre » Tue Jan 01, 2019 2:20 am

solemnlysworn wrote:Self-isolation and detachment into intellectualisation in the face of my more troublesome behaviours became characteristic as I got a little older, like locking myself back in the study


We keep inflicting upon ourselves what was inflicting upon us. It's not just incidental or a metaphor.

Though the observational part, spotting patterns or parallels, is the easiest part - for me - the hardest part is figuring which caused what. Such as, which part of me that was kept away from people, from both neglect and abuse, do I still keep away from potential connections?
Cassandre
Consumer 4
Consumer 4
 
Posts: 86
Joined: Wed Jul 04, 2018 6:11 pm
Local time: Fri Apr 19, 2019 9:36 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

PreviousNext

Return to Antisocial Personality Disorder Forum




  • Related articles
    Replies
    Views
    Last post

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Bellicose, Brandon1, DaturaInnoxia, Exabot [Bot] and 104 guests