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How well can people read you?

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How well can people read you?

Postby cutecactus » Thu Nov 22, 2018 4:03 pm

The ability to read others is often discussed here, but how about the other way around? How do you deal with not (naturally) being very expressive in your body language?

For example without telling them..

..do people have certain prejudices about you (f.e. getting told you look bored, angry or sad all the time when your expression is neutral)?

..can people tell when you're joking or being sarcastic?

..can people generally tell what you're feeling?

Are you ever told you give off a certain vibe, like weird, cold, creepy, etc.?

If people have a hard time reading you, is this on purpose or not? If it's on purpose, why?
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Re: How well can people read you?

Postby justonemoreperson » Thu Nov 22, 2018 5:06 pm

..do people have certain prejudices about you (f.e. getting told you look bored, angry or sad all the time when your expression is neutral)?

I often get told I look angry or pissed off. I was living somewhere for quite a while before I spoke to one neighbour and some years later another neighbour told me that initially he wouldn't come near me because he felt intimidated. I still have no real idea why; it wasn't intentional.

..can people tell when you're joking or being sarcastic?

I can have an acidic sense of humour at times and most of it is delivered deadpan, which is sometimes mistaken for my being serious.

..can people generally tell what you're feeling?

No.

Are you ever told you give off a certain vibe, like weird, cold, creepy, etc.?

This changes quite a lot. Most people find me very engaging. However, every now and then someone will treat me with a profound suspicion, based on nothing concrete. I've had people actively avoid me.

If people have a hard time reading you, is this on purpose or not? If it's on purpose, why?

Sometimes. It depends on the situation.
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Re: How well can people read you?

Postby xcagedsilhouttex » Thu Nov 22, 2018 6:30 pm

Do people have certain prejudices about you (f.e. getting told you look bored, angry or sad all the time when your expression is neutral)?

I get asked if I am bored frequently. My emotional facial expressions tend to be neutral however every now and then genuine happiness and warmth is expressed.

Can people tell when you're joking or being sarcastic?

Not if they don't really know me and even if they do I sometimes get asked if I was being serious or joking. Although the converse applies in that I will say something serious and it's taken as a joke.

Can people generally tell what you're feeling?

I am not as emotionally expressive in real life as I am here. I think they can tell only if I express it verbally although when I am happy I tend to be a little ray of sunshine.

Are you ever told you give off a certain vibe, like weird, cold, creepy, etc.?

I get the comment that I come across as intense quite often. I also get the comment that I appear warm and caring although that tends to be from people that I am more familiar with rather than initial acquaintances.

If people have a hard time reading you, is this on purpose or not? If it's on purpose, why?

I think I might have a difficult time opening up to people and in that respect it might be purposeful. I have the tendency to distrust the intentions of others and hold back. Other than that aspect, there is no conscious intention behind it.
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Re: How well can people read you?

Postby naps » Thu Nov 22, 2018 6:49 pm

do people have certain prejudices about you (f.e. getting told you look bored, angry or sad all the time when your expression is neutral)?

There are actually 2 questions here. I don't think people have prejudices about me, although black people are sometimes rude to me because I frequently look/dress like a redneck. :D If anything, people have expectations of me. They expect very little. Sometimes if I speak up I'll get a surprised look, like "Oh wow, he can talk."

I sometimes can't tell when I'm getting or appearing manic. People will tell me to calm down when I feel like I am being calm. On the rare occasions when I'm with someone and something goes wrong, they might sort of back off a little, expecting me to explode.

..can people tell when you're joking or being sarcastic?

No, and that gets me in trouble sometimes. I also make jokes sometimes purely to amuse myself.

..can people generally tell what you're feeling?

No.

Are you ever told you give off a certain vibe, like weird, cold, creepy, etc.?

Weird, mostly. "Be nice" is something I hear a lot. I try to.

If people have a hard time reading you, is this on purpose or not? If it's on purpose, why?

Not. I prefer to keep my thoughts/emotional responses to myself.
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Re: How well can people read you?

Postby Poisonchocolate » Thu Nov 22, 2018 6:50 pm

..do people have certain prejudices about you (f.e. getting told you look bored, angry or sad all the time when your expression is neutral)?
An old girlfriend used to say I would get "the scary look" on my face but I never fully got an explanation of what that face exactly looked like. She would just ask if I was ok, "because your face looked scary". People say I look bored/lost in thought most of the time.
..can people tell when you're joking or being sarcastic?
Intelligent people can. Unintelligent people can't.
..can people generally tell what you're feeling?
No. I show what I want. I don't think I've ever had a time in the past 10 years where I've accidentally betrayed my emotions.
Are you ever told you give off a certain vibe, like weird, cold, creepy, etc.?
People that I don't care about my relationship with, and therefore make no effort to make appearances for, have said cold or creepy before. A different past girlfriend flat out accused me of being a psychopath after the relationship. Generally though I think most people just find me slightly strange.
If people have a hard time reading you, is this on purpose or not? If it's on purpose, why?
On purpose. Life would be hard indeed if people knew what I really thought of them. I think when you have a choice, it's incredibly foolish to ever let anyone see what your true emotions are. I could go into detail on how important it is to make sure only what you want gets seen by the general public, but I'll just say here that I've gotten far by being selective in what I present.
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Re: How well can people read you?

Postby Squaredonutwheels » Fri Nov 23, 2018 6:33 am

I suspect OP is asking questions so she can get back into "the group" after that spectacle with dandy.
Either way I don't mind.

..do people have certain prejudices about you (f.e. getting told you look bored, angry or sad all the time when your expression is neutral)?
Not that I know of. I can't read peoples minds. Those that comment, I usually notice are projecting. If someone says I look angry, I look carefully and can see that they are trying to get a reaction and that they are angry.

..can people tell when you're joking or being sarcastic?
I cover up how I think with a joke. ie. "just run the c*nt over" and people laugh. In my head it's hardly a joke but because I say it out loud it's dark humor? I don't think this is too different from other people though. Everyone has thoughts that don't match and when someone points it out without a malicious tone in their voice, it is constitutes a joke. It's the tone that matters I suppose.

..can people generally tell what you're feeling?
I don't know. A girl I'm trying to meet up in my city is asking some interesting questions. I suspect she can tell what I'm feeling through txt which is weird.

Are you ever told you give off a certain vibe, like weird, cold, creepy, etc.?
No. Those around me tell me I'm warm and funny. Those at work don't care as long as I'm productive. It's only those who are really close to me who say that I can be manipulative or whatever. Usually lovers.

If people have a hard time reading you, is this on purpose or not? If it's on purpose, why?
I don't think there is much to read. Most of what I do is pretty random. I don't think it serves anymore purpose than as an extension of the need to relate and be intimate, and that need arises as a balance to the first problem: That there is very little there.
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Re: How well can people read you?

Postby Eurus » Fri Nov 23, 2018 7:19 am

do people have certain prejudices about you (f.e. getting told you look bored, angry or sad all the time when your expression is neutral)?

I am told to have resting bitch face.

can people tell when you're joking or being sarcastic?

No, I lack intonation. Possibly autism.

can people generally tell what you're feeling?

God, I hope not.

Are you ever told you give off a certain vibe, like weird, cold, creepy, etc.?

Weird, yes.

If people have a hard time reading you, is this on purpose or not? If it's on purpose, why?

I work hard every day to keep the old face in check.
Last edited by Eurus on Fri Nov 23, 2018 7:27 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: How well can people read you

Postby Quoth » Fri Nov 23, 2018 7:26 am

..do people have certain prejudices about you (f.e. getting told you look bored, angry or sad all the time when your expression is neutral)?

I seem to have something of of a reputation for fairly ruthless professional, physical and sexual aggression. The first I’ll own up to but the others seem a little unfounded, I guess I just come off that way

..can people tell when you're joking or being sarcastic?

No, it’s been commented on. Also sometimes I’m really not joking

..can people generally tell what you're feeling?

Beyond the sense of controlled aggression, no I seem to be regarded as fairly enigmatic.

Curiously though my main way of handling people is to create a false sense of intimacy.

Are you ever told you give off a certain vibe, like weird, cold, creepy, etc.?

I used to have issues with otherness when I was a kid.

Intense is the word most people go with, followed by strategic/calculating/controlled/thoughtful or something along those lines.

Since I’ve been a teenager though most of the descriptions of me have also had a pseudo religious quality, like some sort of fallen confessor. No idea about that one.

I tend to be quite marmitey, people are usually either very keen or completely put off.

If people have a hard time reading you, is this on purpose or not? If it's on purpose, why?

Sheer tonnage of b*llshit perhaps :lol:

No, I place great value on my privacy but mostly my processes are alien enough for most people to keep them puzzled. Curiously those few people who do manage to see through me have never been those who seem to make a thing about being able to bond/empathise with people and generally find can’t find their arse with both hands and a map.
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Re: How well can people read you?

Postby caspin » Fri Nov 23, 2018 8:43 am

The ability to read others is often discussed here, but how about the other way around? How do you deal with not (naturally) being very expressive in your body language?

For example without telling them..

..do people have certain prejudices about you (f.e. getting told you look bored, angry or sad all the time when your expression is neutral)?
What I have noticed is that they seem to ask if I am tired when I yawn. I am often agreeable to others but I may act out with rage if I get pushed around by someone.
"If someone try to speak over and shame me in any way" The rage feeling disapear soon after the person have understood it.

..can people tell when you're joking or being sarcastic?
For the most part, yes.

..can people generally tell what you're feeling?
I can often tell what others feel, if others know what I feel. Hm yes I think so because they may see it.

Are you ever told you give off a certain vibe, like weird, cold, creepy, etc.?
Sometimes, not very often.

If people have a hard time reading you, is this on purpose or not? If it's on purpose, why?
Because I do not give out all information to someone.
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Re: How well can people read you?

Postby Reaper » Fri Nov 23, 2018 10:47 am

..do people have certain prejudices about you (f.e. getting told you look bored, angry or sad all the time when your expression is neutral)?
No, if anything, people in real life have told me that I have a poker face. I've been told by some people online that the way I interact gives the impression that I say things with a deadpan expression and come across as emotionless (not in all of my interactions of course).

I don't feel emotion much of the time, so they're pretty much on the mark. I've practiced inflecting emotion in my tone though when talking to people because it gives the impression that I'm more interested and sincere than I actually am, and it keeps them more engaged in the conversation.

..can people tell when you're joking or being sarcastic?
I don't think people really know how to take me sometimes. They don't really know if I'm joking or not, and some definitely can't see when I'm being sarcastic. That was especially obvious here when some people claimed I don't use sarcasm, or rarely use it. Yet, I'm often sarcastic here.

..can people generally tell what you're feeling?
No, not unless I'm feigning a specific emotion, or if I'm angry. My anger is obvious. Though, sometimes people online think I'm angry when I'm not. You'll know when I am because I swear more than I normally do and start threatening to rip people's heads off.

Are you ever told you give off a certain vibe, like weird, cold, creepy, etc.?
Yes. I've been told that my personality is intimidating, so apparently I give off a vibe that frightens some people. I've also been told that I'm creepy because of the way I laugh sometimes. And some people seem to think I'm a bit mysterious (I was actually told that again recently, which was a little bit surprising).

I think I just give off a quiet, friendly vibe to my neighbors because I usually keep to myself, but will have the occasional, friendly interaction with them when we happen to see each other out and about.

Apparently I give off a very narcissistic vibe to my family. Though, that could have a lot to do with the fact that I rarely show empathy and act like I'm King Dick most of the time.

If people have a hard time reading you, is this on purpose or not? If it's on purpose, why?
I've found that most people online can't read me very well because they either can't relate to my mindset and experiences, don't want to relate to me, don't know how to, have a skewed perception of me based on their own faulty judgement, or expect me to interact as normally as any pro-social person here would/does, even though I'm not.

As for how well people can read me in real life, my family read me better than most other people do because, although I often wear a mask with them as well, it's been very hard to prevent it from slipping at times over the years, so they've seen more of the real me than anyone else has in real life.
Sometimes I wish I could set the world on fire just to watch it all burn down.
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