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Even more questions...

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Re: Even more questions...

Postby LeelaTuranga » Wed Oct 10, 2018 12:28 pm

^ lol
i don't know i am sure there are couples that see each other poop and pee and still love each other and can have romantic feelings too.
or mothers who are not disgusted by their child ,they love it even if it poops.

I've noticed in my partners, the very intelligent women who put on fronts of excessive normality are more depraved. They put on pretty proper fronts but when in the mood they are sloppy, greedy little whores that desperately ache to be filled, used and punished as mindless f*ck toys. I say this as an interesting description not as judgment because when it comes to sex, I am not much different that a dog, just with more creativity.


i don't know if i feel turned on or disgusted or scared
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Re: Even more questions...

Postby LeelaTuranga » Wed Oct 10, 2018 3:55 pm

Of course i don't have aspd omg.i am just bored.i hope you don't mind

Quoth wrote:When people do you wrong, do you pay them back in kind or just walk away? Are you able to let a serious slight go?

Sometimes,other times not,other times accidentally,other times karma,other times i hurt me and others.
Yes i can .if the negatives of answering are too destructive.or if there is no much point in it and i am bored.

How difficult do you find it to stay focused on one task for and elongated period of time (2-3 weeks for example)? Do you find your attention waning and becoming slippery in spite of forcing yourself to continue with the task?

It is difficult but i can hold it enough to do the required that it is needed. the more i like something the easier i.can hold it. The more i fear the negatives also it is very painful but i can hold it.i suffer if i don't like it but i hold it (and i am suicidal)

Generally speaking, do you think most other people’s perception of the world is realistic? If not, how is it not realistic? What motivates their delusion?

Yes.people with pd don't have realistic
I think i am more depressed and pessimistic than normal.or maybe not i can't tell.maybe it is realistic


Does a ‘game’ have to be played for stakes in order for you to enjoy it? Why? Is there a relationship between the height of the stakes and your degree of enjoyment?

I don't like games.i avoid them.instead of loosing i prefer to not play at all.
But if i like something i do it because i enjoy it .there is a relationship between my passion about it and the degree of enjoyment

How do you often daydream? Are you ever more invested/satisfied by events in your internal world than those outside? What role do you play in your own daydreams?


I user to daydream but i lost the ability and i don't know why.i am introverted i love time alone ,i could spend too much time alone enjoying it but i miss having an emotional connection like is not worth living without it.
I used to make stories about myself or others without myself in my daydreams.
Or mix my feelings with others in my stories.put myfeelings in someone else in the story.

Do you often engage or want to engage in unusual sexual practices?(Here unusual equates to anything outside of that which is common in the majority of sexual relationships, not necessarily anything criminally deviant) How do partners typically react when first approached about these practices? If you get a negative response what means do you use of getting your own way? Or do you just let it go?

Yes i like some kinky stuff and i don't tell them because i miss emotional intimacy.i let them do what they want that now i realized as mistake


Bacon

I don't like it. Too much calories or i see the fat.
I preter something lighther.
I don't like the fat white part of meat it tastes eeww


xcagedsilhouttex wrote:

Do you often engage or want to engage in unusual sexual practices?(Here unusual equates to anything outside of that which is common in the majority of sexual relationships, not necessarily anything criminally deviant) How do partners typically react when first approached about these practices? If you get a negative response what means do you use of getting your own way? Or do you just let it go?

I engage in unusual practises but they are not sexual. I am not a very sexual person and all the times I have engaged in sex it has been to gain someone's approval. I haven't done that often either, I have had two sexual partners (intercourse) in the past. The one was a one night (well, two nights) stand and the other was a long term relationship. I regret both, I feel like tainted goods. We did whatever they wanted. I kind of enjoyed pain but I have no drive to explore that further on my own.

Bacon

.



So you never feel sexual attraction?? You haven't felt it with anyone?
For me it is changing ,i think its unstanle lol
i feel asexual and the next i see someome and think it omg that is what they mean by sexual attraction now i get it.i would be annoyed if i felt that often because it is intense lol.
And other times is more normal.
I am also confliceted of wanting opposite things .i want like someone who loves me too much and is kind or someone who is more"kinky" to the opposite end.maybe both opposites ends lol.
I think my problem is lack of emotional intimacy makes me unable to tell to others what i want and this is why the times i don't like it.or because i don't trust them.

-- Wed Oct 10, 2018 5:56 pm --

I wrote all this on phone.you have no idea how difficult that was on phone. I don't know how i succeded with the quote.or i left all the mistakes
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Re: Even more questions...

Postby LeelaTuranga » Wed Oct 10, 2018 4:06 pm

Like i only like salame with that white parts tiny or i get disgusted.one of my relatives used to eat it with big white part kind and ew.
Or in whatever meat i don't like the part that has fat seems like slime to me.i don't eat it.
I don't know how to describe it or how it is called
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Re: Even more questions...

Postby xcagedsilhouttex » Wed Oct 10, 2018 4:31 pm

I am sexually attracted to people and I even have fantasies about it but when it comes down to actually doing it, I am not such a fan. I kind of enjoyed it when I first started going out with my ex, it was a way to show him affection. However, after the initial infatuation died and I no longer wanted his approval, it lost its appeal.

I do think that if I found someone who could hold my interest for long enough, I could get into it. I don't easily become infatuated so it's a rare occurrence when I do like someone enough to try and my lack of variety in partners could mean that maybe I just did not like sex with those two specific people.
dx: Mixed Personality Disorder (F61)
Anorexia Nervosa (F50)
Substance Abuse (F11)

But if you've made your peace, then the devils are really angels, freeing you from the earth. It's just a matter of how you look at it, that's all
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Re: Even more questions...

Postby LeelaTuranga » Wed Oct 10, 2018 4:52 pm

I have this too were i loose attraction.now i wonder if some fear might trigger it.
I feel i get easily infatuated with all the wrong people and i am almost unable to be with the right ones. I can be almost asexual at times although i know i can feel the opposite end too.
I don't want to really explain it in details for anyone to understand better but now i wonder maybe it is not coincidence and is some fear.but it is so sunconscious that i can't control it.
I am thinking maybe i didn't have emotional intimacy and that was the problem
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Re: Even more questions...

Postby xcagedsilhouttex » Wed Oct 10, 2018 5:12 pm

Hmm. I don't think it was fear that made me lose my attraction to him. Our relationship was a bit of a $#%^ show.

He was a few years older than me and he had a trust fund. He convinced me that he was trying to "save" me from my family and I ran away to live with him. He paid for everything, even my university, but he was incredibly controlling. I did everything to please him and it was never enough. After a while of that, he no longer was the incredible person that I liked in the beginning. I enjoyed the dynamic of the relationship, I don't mind being controlled or pushed to be a better person (I enjoy that actually) but it needs to be done respectfully. I also need some of my own independence and he refused to let me work until I pushed it. He had DID and whenever we fought his "protector" came out and he would get incredibly violent. He also had an alt who hated me and that alt was in love with another girl which was incredibly difficult to deal with. I have no issues with someone sleeping around but I need to know that I am the most important person in their life in terms of partners.

By the end of the relationship we were more like roommates than partners.
dx: Mixed Personality Disorder (F61)
Anorexia Nervosa (F50)
Substance Abuse (F11)

But if you've made your peace, then the devils are really angels, freeing you from the earth. It's just a matter of how you look at it, that's all
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Re: Even more questions...

Postby Squaredonutwheels » Thu Oct 11, 2018 11:13 am

^ sounds like you out grew him. Boys get ejected from their mommies vaginas and then they try desperately crawl up into another womans womb. It's too tight up there.
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Re: Even more questions...

Postby Reaper » Fri Oct 12, 2018 11:16 pm

When people do you wrong, do you pay them back in kind or just walk away? Are you able to let a serious slight go?
If the slight is serious enough, then I pretty much want to kill the person. My initial thoughts when someone pisses me off are often violent ones, but I cool down quick. I can go from wanting to rip someone's head off to not giving a shlt in a matter of minutes. Like I said, it all depends on the slight.

How difficult do you find it to stay focused on one task for and elongated period of time (2-3 weeks for example)? Do you find your attention waning and becoming slippery in spite of forcing yourself to continue with the task?
Yes, absolutely. I find it hard to stay focused on anything for more than a few hours let alone a few weeks.

Generally speaking, do you think most other people’s perception of the world is realistic? If not, how is it not realistic? What motivates their delusion?
I don't think about other people's perception of the world, nor do I care if it's delusional or not.

Does a ‘game’ have to be played for stakes in order for you to enjoy it? Why? Is there a relationship between the height of the stakes and your degree of enjoyment?
Yeah, generally. The greater the stakes, the higher the risk and the higher the risk, the greater the thrill of playing 'the game'. The more dangerous the game is the more exciting it is to play.

How do you often daydream? Are you ever more invested/satisfied by events in your internal world than those outside? What role do you play in your own daydreams?
I don't daydream much and I don't find it that satisfying when I do. I'm often more focused on what's happening in real life because real life is more interesting. My imagination kinda sucks.

Do you often engage or want to engage in unusual sexual practices? How do partners typically react when first approached about these practices? If you get a negative response what means do you use of getting your own way? Or do you just let it go?
I'm into BDSM (edgeplay), but I always want to step over the boundaries and go beyond the legal limits, which can make the experience frustrating when you're expected to have enough self-control not to. Experience has taught me that temptation can make me impulsive.
I've gotten some negative responses in the past, but mind you, I surprised a couple of them by introducing a knife into play, which I hadn't previously mentioned. That scared them a bit. And one guy I actually did try to kill during BDSM play, so there's that...


Bacon
err, sure....
Sometimes I wish I could set the world on fire just to watch it all burn down.
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Re: Even more questions...

Postby Homohominilupus » Sat Oct 13, 2018 10:29 pm

Man I love answering questions, they're so fun!
1. It depends on the wrong, and if I would gain anything from it if I did in fact 'pay them back', I have enough self control issues to deal with lol.

2. A little, again, it depends on the task, but I mainly do get bored and usually-hey look a butterfly!

3. I'm not really sure how to answer this, but I do find it annoying and 'wrong' when people do look at the world a certain way. I mean, I look at the world as what it's supposed to be, a clump of dirt with some life on it, some people look at it as though they're 'lucky' and that everyone should be super happy and cheerful, or you know, have that "I'm lucky and should be treated as such" vibe to them. I mean like, yeah, we're here and all, but like, it's not that important, stop being like that and look at the world the way it is, ya know?

4. I do prefer to play with 'stakes', like, "if I win than you have to do (insert task here)" or "if I win than you have to give me (insert item or valuable object here)". I usually do win (I'm better at card games than any other game though), but we live in a community where things like gambling is bad and should be shunned, so I can't do it as much : (

5. The world is kinda boring, so more often than not I do find myself day dreaming about being somewhere else than here. But I guess it's just the environment that I'm in which is boring, all goody-two shoes and happy-go-lucky, and it's not really the place for an AsPD individual to thrive in. I do like to mix reality and non reality though, like, say a woman walked down the street with her dog, sometimes I like to imagine the dog turning rabid and ripping out her throat, it makes for good entertainment.

6. I've never really delved deep into the whole "Hi, I'm (insert name here), I like fantasizing about people being brutally murdered in front of me and sometimes (that being almost always) get horny about it, but every once in a while I do like to imagine myself in a deadly position between life and death and love the adrenaline rush. Hows your day been?" Honestly, again, community full of saints, I don't really know anyone into that kind of stuff (no one really should be to be honest). But I imagine that if I do meet a partner that I'm willing to open up to about this kind of stuff, they'd probably run, but I'd chase them down : P . But when I'm asked if I have any kinks I usually just say I sort of fancy bondage and sadism (still gets them running but whatever.).
"A man is a wolf to another man."
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Re: Even more questions...

Postby Eight » Sat Oct 13, 2018 10:38 pm

^ you sound quite young, or sheltered, or naive.

and you do not sound AsPD in the least.
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