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Your Friendships

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Your Friendships

Postby naps » Thu Jul 12, 2018 6:41 pm

Do you have a lot of friends? How do you view the idea of friendship?

Have you ever betrayed a friendship for personal gain? Apathy? Any other reason?

It's been said that old friends are the most valuable. Is this something you would agree with?

Do you believe it's possible to grow apart from acquaintances and friendships? Is this a pattern in your life?
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Re: Your Friendships

Postby Reaper » Thu Jul 12, 2018 7:29 pm

I make friends, but I don't keep them.

I view friendship kind of like a financial transaction from an ATM machine. This is what I want and I'm going to use you to get it. The person themself doesn't have any value. It's what they can offer me that I'm interested in.

Once I get bored of someone I'm done with them. I start ignoring them then. Friendships don't last long with me.
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Re: Your Friendships

Postby madness00 » Thu Jul 12, 2018 8:45 pm

I used to have a lot of friends. Hanging out almost every day after class, smoking bowls, doing homework, etc.

I don't know if i've betrayed any friends. I'm naturally a selfish person but i don't go out of my way to take advantage of people. I'm more like a snake waiting for a mouse to come by.

I agree that most valuable friendships are the longest ones. Just the more face time the better.

Yes, i can grow apart from people.. I just sort of lose my phone and never bother to get my contacts back, sort of thing.
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Re: Your Friendships

Postby xSid » Thu Jul 12, 2018 8:49 pm

naps wrote:Do you have a lot of friends? How do you view the idea of friendship?

Have you ever betrayed a friendship for personal gain? Apathy? Any other reason?

It's been said that old friends are the most valuable. Is this something you would agree with?

Do you believe it's possible to grow apart from acquaintances and friendships? Is this a pattern in your life?


Yep, lots of friends. My opinion on friendship is that the lowest the expectations you have from others, the easier it is to make friendships. I have hanged out with people from all walks of life, and can normally find something on everyone that makes hanging out with them enjoyable. Most of my friends are people we either share a common interest, or we enjoy hanging out, drinking, partying, etc. But I also enjoy getting to know and making friends with very different people, I have even enlisted some ridiculously introverted people as my friends on occasion, that I had to literally barge into their appartment and basically force them to go out with me.

In the light of "low/no expectations" mentioned above, no, I haven't betrayed any friends, not from my point of view at least. I find it normal that people put their own self first under any circumstances, and ofc so do I. I don't subscribe to the idealistic notions of friendship, loyalty, trust and all that. My friends are people we enjoy spending time with, I don't put trust in them or they in me and I don't expet loyalty or sacrifices or anything really for them - if they do expect something for me, that's their expectations and not what I signed up for.

My oldest buddy of over 10 years of knowing each other and a small circle of drug/party/troublemaking buddies I have of like 3-4 years are probably my closest friends, due to the fact that they see friendship very similar as I do. No trust, no loyalty, no expecting me to do something for them without reason. I guess that due to similar particular circumstances of me and my buddies, we all share that mutual understanding and we can have a nice fun relationship, without any too deep idealistic magical frienship bull $#%^ getting in the way. With other people, former friends or aquaintances, we have drifted apart cause either life happened, or they started having expectations, or taking sheit personally, or something
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Re: Your Friendships

Postby FormallyZach31 » Fri Jul 13, 2018 1:05 am

In my younger days I had people over at my place all the time that I guess could have been considered friends. Nowadays I prefer my own company and like being left alone
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Re: Your Friendships

Postby justonemoreperson » Fri Jul 13, 2018 5:58 am

I have quite a few people who I could easily spend time with; have a few beers or even go away for a few days together with but I don't have many real friends.

I suppose it's a combination of not being able to really be who I am with others, not being willing / able to put the effort in to maintain a friendship beyond my own wants and I like my own company. I don't feel the need to be with others.

I find people too fragile and disappointing.
I'm not arguing, I'm explaining why I'm right.
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Re: Your Friendships

Postby KvotheTheRaven » Fri Jul 13, 2018 7:08 am

Do you have a lot of friends? How do you view the idea of friendship?

No. I have a lot of people who think they are my friends but I don't count them as friends because they are not friends with me but with an idea of me. I call them idea friends. I have two actual friends who know everything about me and still want to maintain the friendship.

Have you ever betrayed a friendship for personal gain? Apathy? Any other reason?

Many times. I like to mess with people.

It's been said that old friends are the most valuable. Is this something you would agree with?

No. People grow apart over the years. You are likely to find friends better suited to you as you grow up. One of my friends happens to be my oldest friend but we were not that close until about two years ago because we became more similar.

Do you believe it's possible to grow apart from acquaintances and friendships? Is this a pattern in your life?

See above.
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Re: Your Friendships

Postby Robert1971 » Fri Jul 13, 2018 9:25 am

naps wrote:Do you have a lot of friends? How do you view the idea of friendship?


I find it hard to keep friendships. I can easily make casual contact but have no lasting friendships. The idea of friendship is nice, but I am not capable of maintaining a lasting relationship.

Have you ever betrayed a friendship for personal gain? Apathy? Any other reason?


Nope, never had friends to betray.


It's been said that old friends are the most valuable. Is this something you would agree with?


Well, I guess it would be nice to have a history with someone and remember the good old days together.


Do you believe it's possible to grow apart from acquaintances and friendships? Is this a pattern in your life?


Like I said, I don't seem to have the capacity to maintain friendships over longer periods of time, so I am not sure what you mean.
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Re: Your Friendships

Postby ZombieZ » Fri Jul 13, 2018 3:32 pm

Do you have a lot of friends? How do you view the idea of friendship?

I used to have a ton of friends, these days I have just a few close friends. I like having friends, but it’s more for company when doing things. I’m not particularly attached to any I can and have walked away from them with little to no warning.

Have you ever betrayed a friendship for personal gain? Apathy? Any other reason?

I have it’s not something I’m particularly proud of, but I felt cheated in a strange sense so I did something I normally wouldn’t.

It's been said that old friends are the most valuable. Is this something you would agree with?

I don’t think so necessarily, I have old friends but I’m not close to any of them and choose not to associate with them much because they are more work than they are worth most of the time.

Do you believe it's possible to grow apart from acquaintances and friendships? Is this a pattern in your life?

Its definitely possible and yes this has been my pattern with very few exceptions.
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Re: Your Friendships

Postby Quoth » Sat Jul 14, 2018 12:50 am

Do you have a lot of friends? How do you view the idea of friendship?
I don’t know how many friends is a lot. I don’t make friends easily but tend to keep them.

I have a group of 11 people I consider close friends, the core group of 4 people I have known since I was 17. We’re heavily financially intwined to the extent that my grandfather refers to us as a syndicate. Our relationship runs closer to that of family and occasionally crosses into polyamorous territory. We do most things together, go on holiday together, share hobbies etc.

Then there other more distant ‘friends’, my boss, two of my colleagues and three members of the nursing staff I get on well with. A couple of guys in the RAFVR one of which I was a cadet with.

Everyone else is either some unequal relationship or people I don’t have any position on.

If I was to sum up friendship in one word it’d be sacrifice, the choice to sacrifice for others in the knowledge that they will sacrifice for you.

Have you ever betrayed a friendship for personal gain? Apathy? Any other reason?
I was responsible for the conviction of a friend for offences relating to minors when I was 19. That is to say he committed the crime and I shopped him, he’s still inside.

Sometimes I find that people expect me to treat them as a friend when as far as I was concerned I had no emotional connection to them one way or another. There have been a few accidental ‘betrayals’ on those grounds.

It's been said that old friends are the most valuable. Is this something you would agree with?
I would say depth or intensity is more important than duration.

Do you believe it's possible to grow apart from acquaintances and friendships? Is this a pattern in your life?
lol yes. I’m sure I’ve mentioned this before but I’m a public school brat (this kind of public school not the other kind for those not familiar with the British education system.) I lived with friends day in day out so I knew these people pretty intimately. I met up with some of them about 5 years ago and we went out together. They’re much the same, looking to do the same things we did in our late teens. They still seem to enjoy it but for me it was like trying to play ‘make believe’ when you’ve got to old for it, try as you might, the magic is gone.
”The man would then tear up little pieces of paper above the street, and the creatures, attracted by this shower of white butterflies, came out into the middle of the road, raising enquiring paws towards the last pieces of paper. At this the little old man would spit on the cats, firmly and accurately.”
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