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Killer Clowns On The Merry-Go-Round

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Killer Clowns On The Merry-Go-Round

Postby madness00 » Thu May 17, 2018 5:44 pm

Why are you here?

Originally i came here to meet people similar to me, share stories and experiences, and ultimately feel like less of a loner in this cruel, cruel world.

But the more i think about it, the more i see dramatic differences between myself and others here. I feel like i'm riding a real horse on a Merry-Go-Round with plastic killer clowns. In other words, my real life issues feel very real, but the environment i'm in seems both aimless and fake. Although, who am i to judge people i don't knows problems - it's just a feeling i get.

Does anyone else feel this way? Or is this place for real and i'm the fake one.

I'm open to all opinions.
Dx: Bipolar 1 rapid cycling, Substance abuse, Antisocial traits
Rx: Vraylar 6mg, Lamictal 300mg

PM me, as i prefer one-on-ones.
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Re: Killer Clowns On The Merry-Go-Round

Postby Reaper » Thu May 17, 2018 5:58 pm

I feel like the only real one here sometimes when I see inconsistencies and contradictions in other people's posts, or stories that just don't add up. It makes me think that people aren't taking AsPD seriously. This disorder is not a fuking joke.

What's worse is when some people try to put me in the same category as those that do that shlt, even though I don't. I get that some people here don't like me, but I'm not that fuking pathetic.
Last edited by Reaper on Thu May 17, 2018 6:01 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Killer Clowns On The Merry-Go-Round

Postby madness00 » Thu May 17, 2018 6:01 pm

Understood.
Dx: Bipolar 1 rapid cycling, Substance abuse, Antisocial traits
Rx: Vraylar 6mg, Lamictal 300mg

PM me, as i prefer one-on-ones.
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Re: Killer Clowns On The Merry-Go-Round

Postby Reaper » Thu May 17, 2018 6:04 pm

This forum just frustrates me sometimes. I feel like a lot of people don't really understand me.
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Re: Killer Clowns On The Merry-Go-Round

Postby madness00 » Thu May 17, 2018 6:05 pm

Reaper wrote:This forum just frustrates me sometimes. I feel like a lot of people don't really understand me.


Why must people here understand you?

Why not understand yourself, first?
Dx: Bipolar 1 rapid cycling, Substance abuse, Antisocial traits
Rx: Vraylar 6mg, Lamictal 300mg

PM me, as i prefer one-on-ones.
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Re: Killer Clowns On The Merry-Go-Round

Postby Reaper » Thu May 17, 2018 6:20 pm

madness00 wrote:Why must people here understand you?


I'm not saying they have to. I'm just telling you what I think.

Why not understand yourself, first?


But that's the thing, I do understand myself. I know who I am from my own experiences, for the most part anyway. I'm aware I have blind spots (everybody does), but I think people see their own version of me - who they've decided I am, not who I really am.

I just think people expect me to be like them, but I'm not and never will be because we're very different people with different personalities, motivations and desires.

Mind you, I'm only talking about people on this forum, not those in real life.
Last edited by Reaper on Thu May 17, 2018 6:24 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Killer Clowns On The Merry-Go-Round

Postby madness00 » Thu May 17, 2018 6:24 pm

Reaper wrote:
madness00 wrote:Why must people here understand you?


I'm not saying they have to. I'm just telling you what I think.


But, why does it bother you? And don't say it doesn't.

Reaper wrote:I just think people expect me to be like them, but I'm not and never will be because we're very different people with different personalities, motivations and desires.


I think that's the case for most people.

-- Thu May 17, 2018 1:27 pm --

Reaper wrote:Mind you, I'm only talking about people on this forum, not those in real life.


Again, why does it matter so much about your appearance online?
Dx: Bipolar 1 rapid cycling, Substance abuse, Antisocial traits
Rx: Vraylar 6mg, Lamictal 300mg

PM me, as i prefer one-on-ones.
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Re: Killer Clowns On The Merry-Go-Round

Postby Reaper » Thu May 17, 2018 6:33 pm

madness00 wrote:
Reaper wrote:I'm not saying they have to. I'm just telling you what I think.


But, why does it bother you? And don't say it doesn't.


It bothers me at times because I'm here to learn about myself and in order to do that I need to be understood to some degree. I think people need to remember that I'm dealing with issues most people aren't instead of just assuming I'm full of shlt.

Reaper wrote:I just think people expect me to be like them, but I'm not and never will be because we're very different people with different personalities, motivations and desires.


I think that's the case for most people.


Most people don't have this disorder. I'm talking about genuine differences from the average person.

madness00 wrote:Again, why does it matter so much about your appearance online?


This is not about my appearance. It's about being understood as someone who is dealing with a disorder that's done nothing more than fuk up my life.
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Re: Killer Clowns On The Merry-Go-Round

Postby CandleInTheWindow » Thu May 17, 2018 6:43 pm

I'm not real, I get inflated every morning.

No seriously, I don't have a diagnosis of aspd but I like this forum and I've never pretended to be something that I'm not. I have no reason to.
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Re: Killer Clowns On The Merry-Go-Round

Postby madness00 » Thu May 17, 2018 10:44 pm

Reaper wrote:
madness00 wrote:
Reaper wrote:I'm not saying they have to. I'm just telling you what I think.


But, why does it bother you? And don't say it doesn't.


It bothers me at times because I'm here to learn about myself and in order to do that I need to be understood to some degree.


It's only natural to get defensive about a blind spot one may have, don't you think?

CandleInTheWindow wrote:No seriously, I don't have a diagnosis of aspd but I like this forum and I've never pretended to be something that I'm not. I have no reason to.


Do you think you have AsPD, if you were to get tested or whatever?
Dx: Bipolar 1 rapid cycling, Substance abuse, Antisocial traits
Rx: Vraylar 6mg, Lamictal 300mg

PM me, as i prefer one-on-ones.
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