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Anyone else experience providers siding with parent?

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Anyone else experience providers siding with parent?

Postby Chrrygrl » Thu Apr 07, 2022 3:53 pm

Is that why this forum exists? I’m happy and sad to learn other people have experienced these things.
I was upset about this earlier this morning and just stumbled upon this page.

My mom and dad enabled sexual and physical abuse and psychologically abused me themselves.

Tw: SA mention

My school forced my dad to put me in counseling when they found out someone he was babysitting was molesting me
(TW: he knew and didn’t do anything. Kept letting me sleep in the same beds as other males who were older than me and letting me sleep at his friends house even though their kids would put their poop, boogers, etc on me while I slept. They burned me with cigarettes and held me down while their brother SA me.)
I told my mom those things and she brought those same people around me and told me to hug them.
My dad saw my brother (6yrs older) peeping on me and I never had the courage to tell my parents that he molested me (so glad I didn’t now that I know they would probably make it worse).
He’s almost 30 and I caught him peeping the other day (I’m 21 now).

My parents were separated so I felt gaslighted out of my ass when I was seeing therapist after therapist for years and every time my parents would speak for me and quickly tell them I just wanted attention. My therapists never took me seriously until I was 18 and my mom legally couldn’t be in the room speaking for me. I’m finally getting help and feeling better. Even when I first turned 18 and got a therapist my mom violated hipaa and talked to my therapist behind my back. It was the therapists idea and he knew my mom was a narcissist. He’s who told me but went on to help her abuse me. I had proof and successfully reported him. I’m going on 3 years with a good therapist and finally starting to feel like a person again.

I was thinking earlier about how a therapist who sided with my mom just gave me hypnotherapy cds and had me doing emdr. I needed to talk about how I was sexually abused and without my mom in the room. I clearly did not want to answer questions about what goes on at home with my mom next to me waiting for me to say something wrong. It makes me sick to my stomach how the therapist treated me. I had to lie and say I was okay for the hell of getting out of there.

The therapist was trying to fix my behavior without realizing that I was acting out because I was getting abused.

Other providers diagnosed me with mood disorders like bipolar, schixoaffective or typical,and other things I can’t remember but the list was so long. I was on anti-depressants and anti-psychotics and I just stopped taking them when I was 14. 7 years later After having someone to listen to me and believe me for a 3 years im fine. I can handle myself. I don’t let my mom gaslight me and I protect myself against my brother spying. I can admit that I hate being around them for a good reason. Even though all of those therapist looked right past the incredibly serious situation that’s going on I can validate myself and do what I can to get Justice.

I believe the system is full of people who mistreat their own kids and that’s why the gravitate towards playing devil’s advocate for the parent. My mom is a psych nurse (part of the reason why they were more inclined to believe her) but she’d come home and make fun of those kids.

I remember being in inpatient and pretending to be asleep so I wouldn’t have to visit my mom and brother. The nurse yelled at me to go see them and snatched off my blankets. She forced me to see my brother who molested me. She forced me to go see my mother who does not give a ###$ about it and makes my situation worse for the hell of it.
Last edited by Snaga on Thu Apr 07, 2022 4:21 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Anyone else experience providers siding with parent?

Postby Ior » Thu Sep 08, 2022 2:07 pm

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Re: Anyone else experience providers siding with parent?

Postby ExploreMacarons » Fri Feb 03, 2023 10:16 am


I went to see 2 therapists in succession in high school. The first had been seeing my mom as a patient for years before he saw me. My first visit he didn't try to interview me, ask me questions, etc. He assumed he understood my point of view and family situation already, from what my mom had told him. He just jumped in addressing what *she* thought I thought and what *she* imagined my problems were. It was literally like he was talking to her instead of me. I didn't go back.

The second therapist didn't believe the abuse I was describing at home, and asked eventually to talk to my mom privately. I was 18 so he needed my permission, but I allowed it. Apparently, he told her I might be schizophrenic. (He did not diagnose me, i'm guessing, only said i might be). I can only guess that that's what was said, because years later I found out that for years she'd been telling everyone this behind my back. Neither my mom or the therapist in question ever told me their suspicion to my face. Subsequent therapy has confirmed that I'm not schizophrenic, but because of these bad experienced I avoided seeking therapy that I vadly needed for a long time.

Hope you find peace.
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