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why do you want to be thin?

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why do you want to be thin?

Postby imaduck » Sun May 08, 2011 6:41 am

just curious...

(i have my reasons but i would like to hear yours before i talk about mine... just to avoid influencing your answers. sorry!)
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Re: why do you want to be thin?

Postby Chucky » Sun May 08, 2011 8:01 pm

I want to be thin because I equate it to beauty, but when I think about it I know that it doesn't equate to that. The biggest part for me is the face - i.e. I like the cheekbones to be prominent. Luckily, I have 'those' natural cheekbones anyway, but I fear putting on weight and losing that definition.

...and you?

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Re: why do you want to be thin?

Postby imaduck » Mon May 09, 2011 2:57 am

the corrupt part of my mind says this: problems? let me be miserable then, at least i'm thin. problems aren't so bad. no friends? isolated? oh well, my body is my best friend. i love to stare at it, to lust after it, to have it in my possession and live in it and feel it too. if i'm thin, i don't need others. i don't even need happiness or the feeling of being human.

so basically, this ideal physical self defines an innate belief that i can't be happy, can't love myself, can't exist among others because i'm too different. the body becomes happiness, self-love, a lover, a best friend: everything i can't have. it's a method of securing myself in narcissism and isolation. and childhood, since i'm not really comfortable having a woman's body--my body should match my undeveloped sense of gender, right? if not, too much dissonance. "mature" has always been an inexplicably taboo subject/word for me. as have "body" and "embarrassing." HM.

the image itself is more like an androgynous male... funny thing, i love to draw human bodies/faces but i can't draw females. i've always drawn males. skinny, girly males!

i said i wouldn't talk about mine but not too many people are responding :p
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Re: why do you want to be thin?

Postby tine » Mon May 09, 2011 5:38 am

Woops, I didn't see this thread :D

That whole mentality of "at least I'm thin" resonates with me too... I can be completely alone and unhappy with everything going on in my life but if I'm thin, things aren't so bad. It sounds ridiculous and shallow, but it's true. It somehow makes everything else easier to deal with. Well, not easier to deal with. But it's the best distraction.

I also turn into a full on narcissist. It creeps me out. I feel like some kind of untouchable perfect goddess. When men look at me I want to scowl at them. The thought of sex repulses me. I think it's because I associate sex with being dirty, and being thin and starved makes me clean and pure. I don't know. When I was at my thinnest I felt like I was on a plane soaring high above everyone else.

I idealize high fashion models. The thinner the better. I don't know why but I love looking like a starved little girl. Weak and vulnerable. Sunken in eyes, bones protruding, flat chested. That's perfection to me and even now I can't get over it.

My health gets in the way every time though. I now have permanent kidney damage and I have no one to blame but myself.
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Re: why do you want to be thin?

Postby Lida » Tue May 10, 2011 9:19 pm

For me, I guess it's more about attention than anything else, at least right now. It started out as wanting to be healthier, and that was when I've felt at my prettiest. Of course I connect beauty and being thin as well and feel hideous and ugly after eating too much or when my weight goes up even the slightest, but lately I've come to realize that deep down, I'm just desperate for my friends to notice I'm unhappy, because I've always been the shoulder to cry on for them, and some selfish part of me tells me they can't expect me to take all that crap and come out unharmed. What worries (and fascinates) me most is that I don't really want to recover, not quite yet - I feel like I have to touch the bottom first, or I can never hold my head high and say, "I had anorexia and I defeated it" in future. So maybe that is why I want to be thin, now...
"Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring." -Marilyn Monroe
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Re: why do you want to be thin?

Postby chloer » Thu May 12, 2011 1:40 pm

For me it is control. Everything else has fallen apart and my eating is the only thing left I can control. I chose not to eat, to become thin - no one else has a say in it.

C x
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Re: why do you want to be thin?

Postby TheFrogGirl » Thu May 12, 2011 3:28 pm

I don't "want to be thin". It's just a thing I do to cope with the fact that I can't cut anymore. Or.. Well, I can, but I have a deal with my principal, so I can't.
AvPD - Social/General Anxiety - Depression
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Re: why do you want to be thin?

Postby EarlGreyDregs » Thu May 12, 2011 3:36 pm

neowhimsical wrote:I think it's because I associate sex with being dirty, and being thin and starved makes me clean and pure. I don't know. When I was at my thinnest I felt like I was on a plane soaring high above everyone else.

I idealize high fashion models. The thinner the better. I don't know why but I love looking like a starved little girl. Weak and vulnerable. Sunken in eyes, bones protruding, flat chested. That's perfection to me and even now I can't get over it.


I can really relate to these two statements you said, Neo. Being starved did give a sense of purity, like you said. I wonder if the sex & food are related in these ways: Both are a form of penetration into the body. We feel cleaner, purer, when we are not penetrated by a male OR by food. We are simply ourselves, untouched. At least thats the connection I can make between the two. Let me know what you think of that thought.

My therapist had trouble understanding why I thought emaciation was beautiful. But at least I'm not the only one.

To the OP, I want to be thin for the emaciation, the purity & the control.
..
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Re: why do you want to be thin?

Postby beltroyse » Fri May 13, 2011 6:55 pm

to be and feel beautiful.
its something that i can control and that no one else can control or take from me.
to feel powerful and unstoppable.
to make all those who hurt me pay.
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Re: why do you want to be thin?

Postby prettyprincess » Wed May 18, 2011 9:04 pm

Hi im not trying to be mean but who wants to be thin like im skinny and i dont like it like i wish i could have more body weight because i think people who has a curvy body are really pretty. like everytime i look at curvy bodies i just wish i had that. i wish i had the big but the medium size boobs and maybe medium size thighs i dont i just dont like my body thats why i try to eat alot but it doesnt work out since i have a fast mutalism which sucks i just wish i can gain weight like everyone else
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