why do you want to be thin?

I like to feel my bones. It calms me.

I want to be thin because I have always equated being thin with being beautiful. Maybe it was all the models I saw in magazines or mall windows, or maybe it was my parents going on a diet and causing everybody else in the house to as well. I have always hated everything about myself, but always thought that if I lost weight I could still have "Oh well atleast I'm thin" as something.

imaduck wrote:just curious...

(i have my reasons but i would like to hear yours before i talk about mine... just to avoid influencing your answers. sorry!)

This is an old thread but just felt like sharing anyway..

When my eating disorder started I thought I just wanted to get rid of my "muffin top" but then not eating felt euphoric and it gave me something to control in my out of control life. It's no longer about being thin, it's about control, self harm, attention, there's no thin enough for me because it's not about that.

I am thin. I guess I find my body weird so I keep it that way. I realize that today's body standards are unrealistic. I have an hour glass shaped figure which is apparently meant to be desirable but if something is not shaped correctly it looks wrong. It doesn't matter what size I am, it's always hour glass with my waist being tiny compared to my bust and hips.

I would love to be one of those completely straight girls but I am stuck with this shape. Worse still is now people want these weird pokemon shapes that really are mostly either created by plastic surgery or the hip equivalent of padding or are some strange genetic anomaly.

The thinner I get, the more linear everything becomes and I get happier however I end up shopping in the children's section most of the time.

because i want to remain child like with no big, child birthing hips or big boobs/butt
i hate the attention that gets
i want to be smaller than the average human

maze222 wrote:because i want to remain child like with no big, child birthing hips or big boobs/butt
i hate the attention that gets
i want to be smaller than the average human

Ive heard that reason before and i can understand it. Its tough when ur body starts to get noticed.

Feel free to talk as much as you need, hugs!

willow

It feeds my addictive personality. Even though it hurts me when I do something wrong, it satisfies me when I do something right. If I didn't have my ED, I would probably be doing something else (besides my already bad SI) to feel some sort of control. I wouldn't be surprised if something else actually did pop up in the future...

marchewka wrote:It feeds my addictive personality. Even though it hurts me when I do something wrong, it satisfies me when I do something right. If I didn't have my ED, I would probably be doing something else (besides my already bad SI) to feel some sort of control. I wouldn't be surprised if something else actually did pop up in the future...

I totally get where you're coming from! I have an addictive personality too and find that i tend to self harm more when my ed is better controlled and vice versa.
Im trying to find more healthy alternatives atm, do you have any nice things that you do for yourself?

willow