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Want to stop feeling guilty of feeling full

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Want to stop feeling guilty of feeling full

Postby Jemma » Fri Nov 02, 2018 4:19 pm

I'd been in constant state of denial that I could possibly have an eating disorder . This started in around April this year. I was always a fussy eater having a long list of foods i dislike and don't eat. But I wasn't BMI obsessed . I have always been a good BMI and never close to over weight . But it all changed in April and I got obsessed with weight loss i wanted to get underweight. To be honest i don't even know why. My anxiety was at its highest back then and I definitely experienced body dysmorphia. I started with starting to eat healthy and ended up using fitness pal with a big calorie deficit and ate really small portions . Also skipped meals frequently . Stopped drinking any kind of Soda. I've always been a huge sweet tooth. But now I was reading calories and I was afraid . I used to work out but couldn't work out very well because I had anemia and anxiety both . And Working out made me dizzy. So I had to go the eat as less as possible. I dropped significant weight. I started feeling more confident. But people around me had a different opinion. People started asking me if I was sick . And what's wrong with me . I was paler and my skin got really lose with the sudden weight loss. And my hair was all over the place . My dark circles became extremely prominent . And i kept feeling dizzy every time I got up . When anyone asked me to eat I used to say I'm not hungry or I just ate. But after a few months my appetite was gone . I didn't feel like eating anything. Now that i have accepted how ugly and weak I've become contrary to what I wanted . I wanna do something about it. The biggest obstacle in my way right now is the fact that the feeling of being full makes me feel extremely guilty . I like my stomach being empty . I wanna stop feeling guilty. How do I do that so that I can start eating better and fill my skin with flesh so that I stop looking old .
Thank you for listening.
Jemma
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Re: Want to stop feeling guilty of feeling full

Postby xcagedsilhouttex » Mon Nov 05, 2018 10:02 pm

Hey Jemma.

You need to start refeeding. I don't know what your current health is like but if you are underweight it might need to start in a clinic.

You have to get used to the feeling of being full again, there is simply no other way.

One technique is to eat at least the minimum amount of calories you require in a day (typically 2500 depending on your height and weight).

Alternatively you can create a meal plan with a dietician.

Don't do any of this without consulting a doctor first.
dx: Mixed Personality Disorder (F61)
Anorexia Nervosa (F50)
Substance Abuse (F11)

But if you've made your peace, then the devils are really angels, freeing you from the earth. It's just a matter of how you look at it, that's all
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